Big mistakes girls make in communicating and relationships with guys. How not to lose your beloved guy, the main mistakes of girls and women in relationships Mistakes of girls in relationships with guys

To win the heart of a beloved man and build a harmonious relationship with him, women are ready to do anything, even to eradicate habits that irritate the opposite sex. However, the development of relationships depends on both partners, and no matter how wise and flexible women are, if men make unforgivable mistakes, sooner or later it will turn into a loud scandal for them.

It would seem that if people love each other and want to be together, why do they forget about mutual respect and do not resolve controversial situations before they turn into an offensive quarrel? But the catch is that men and women think differently. And if a woman, by virtue of her natural intuition, can still understand the unexpressed feelings of her chosen one, then a man, with his logical and consequential thinking, is not easy to do this, and sometimes even impossible.

Therefore, all representatives of the stronger sex who want to maintain a happy relationship with their chosen ones need to learn the 10 most serious mistakes of men in relationships with women, and try under no circumstances to allow them in their lives.

1. You are not solving her problems.

It’s just the way nature dictated - a man should be wise, brave and strong. A man must protect and protect his woman from any troubles, at least every woman wants it to be so. And even if it seems to you that your chosen one lives a carefree and happy life, this is not at all the case, because every day she has to solve a bunch of everyday and personal issues. Therefore, at the first opportunity, show concern for her concerns. And never wait until your chosen one asks you for help - just in case, offer help first, and even if she refuses, she will be pleased with your attentiveness.

2. You are stingy with compliments.

A woman needs compliments like a flower needs water. Without water, a flower will wither and die, and without compliments a woman will cease to feel like a woman. If you do not say kind words to your chosen one and do not admire her appearance, believing that this is already clear, because you love her, the woman will think that she is no longer interesting to you. Therefore, when you see a new outfit on your beloved, be sure to emphasize that it especially suits her and complements her already stunning beauty.

3. You are indecisive

Perhaps it is difficult for you to choose between a trip to the sea or a hike in the mountains, between dinner in a Japanese restaurant or in a restaurant with Georgian cuisine, and you think that your chosen one will cope better with this task. However, even in small things, a woman wants to see you as a reliable support, so overcome your indecisiveness and at least sometimes take the entire burden of responsibility on your shoulders.

4. You are not interested in her affairs.

You come home from work, exchange a few words, have dinner and go play computer games or watch TV. In this way, you are used to relieving the tension that has accumulated during the day, however, your silence and indifference makes a woman feel unnecessary and abandoned. Remember, representatives of the fair sex love intimate conversations; by talking, they get rid of stress and take a break from bad thoughts. Therefore, train yourself to be interested in how her day went.

5. You're lying

If you believe that you have no equal in the art of lying, and when you delicately distort reality by declaring that your strict boss assigned you overtime work, but in fact you spent that evening in a bar with friends, believing that this harmless lie will remain your secret, you are very mistaken. Any woman feels insincerity on a subconscious level, and you won’t be able to outwit this skill. If the habit of lying becomes your permanent condition, very soon a woman will stop trusting you both in small things and in serious situations.

6. You don't know how to stand up for your principles.

The paradox of the female psyche is that every representative of the fairer sex simultaneously wants to see next to her a soft, attentive romantic, as well as a strong, powerful man. Simply put, you should not always indulge your chosen one in everything, because... very soon she will begin to consider you a weak-willed weakling. If something in her requests and demands contradicts your masculine principles, feel free to defend your position.

7. You are sure that a woman will forgive you for any mistakes.

For some reason, many men believe that their wives are afraid of losing them more than anything else, and therefore will forgive them any weaknesses and mistakes. Of course, every woman is afraid of being left alone, but there is a limit to everything, and if the degree of insults you inflict reaches a critical level, she will probably break up with you.

8. You don't feel her mood

Men tend to combat bad moods with rest or a glass of cold beer. A woman in a state of blues most of all wants to be listened to and supported by her loved one. And even if it seems to you that the sorrows of your chosen one are like making a mountain out of a molehill, do not brush them aside, but at least listen and give wise advice.

9. You control her entire life.

Do you think that patriarchy should reign in the family, and you prefer to control every action of your wife, believing that she should spend all her time only with you? You can rest assured that very soon you will become a single man again, because... total control can destroy any feelings. If you don't want this, just learn to trust your chosen one. When she wants to spend time in the company of her friends or visiting relatives, do not forbid her from doing so, because a piece of personal space is the need of every person.

10. You have no goal

Perhaps this is the biggest mistake that no woman can come to terms with. With great love, a woman will forgive you jealousy, little lies, and indecisiveness, but she will never be able to feel comfortable and protected next to a person who has no goal in life. If you don't strive to achieve more than you have this moment, and this applies not only material assets, you will not be able to take care of your future children.

Every person makes mistakes from time to time, and that's okay. It’s scary if, when you make mistakes, you don’t realize it and don’t want to correct them. Therefore, in family life nothing should be left to chance. If you see that your spouse is offended by you, but don’t understand why, it’s better to ask her about it, without letting a small spark of resentment develop into a big fire.

To be honest, I can’t stand the expression “He left me.” This humiliates us, so it is preferable to call it “breakup”, “breakup” or something like that, even “in the mind”. A woman, trying on the image of an “abandoned” woman, destroys herself by this alone, reducing herself to the position of an inanimate object. However, today's conversation will not be about wording, but about how to keep a guy. What you need to do and how to behave so that you don’t get “abandoned.”

The initial stages of a relationship are usually relatively easy. Everything happens as if by itself, some faster, some slower, but that’s not the point. The main difficulties arise a little later, when the “caramel-flower period” has passed. What do I mean by this? - You have already confessed your love to each other, the first flowers, the first kisses and, possibly, the first sex are behind you, and now you are his girlfriend, and He is your boyfriend.

It would seem that hearts have been won and you can calmly “rest on your laurels,” but that was not the case. Any relationship, and especially gender relationships, is a constant job, which cannot be skipped, nor can it be entrusted to another person.
If you don't constantly remember the need to maintain a healthy relationship, the guy will leave you, and then you are doomed to search for the answer to the question: "".
I do not pretend to consider absolutely all the mistakes that women make when building a relationship with a guy, and I will focus only on the most common and fatal mistakes, in the hope that this will help you avoid them in the future or correct them (before it’s too late) , if you have already completed them.

Let's learn about the three most common types of behavior in women in which a guy is highly likely to “dump” you.

The woman is jealous

Jealousy is the most common and most fatal of all women's mistakes. I agree that it is very difficult not to be jealous if you are “jealous”. It’s hard to suppress this feeling and rarely does anyone have the willpower to tell themselves: “Don’t be jealous!”, but you don’t need to do this. At the very least, you should have the strength and common sense not to show it. Because jealousy is a direct path to the destruction of relationships.

Initially, when memories of first dates are still fresh in the memory, open manifestations of jealousy: “Why did you smile at the waitress?”, “Who is this new girl at your work? Is she more beautiful than me?”, “So I believed you, that you were late at work, probably just saw a pretty girl,” etc., all this can be perceived as evidence of love and fear of losing a lover. But later, it becomes painful for the guy and jealousy gradually overshadows all the good things that exist between you.

Over time, a man begins to consider your jealousy as a manifestation of distrust of himself. How pleasant do you think it is to be around someone who doesn't trust you? How can a guy make plans for a future life together with you and see you as his wife if there are already problems of this kind in the relationship? I think that you can answer this question yourself.

I would like to draw your attention to the fact that it does not matter at all whether you have grounds for jealousy or not. In any case, manifestations of jealousy are unacceptable. Because if jealousy is unfounded, your good relationship will be destroyed, and if it is justified, then the relationship will still not be saved with its help.
By demonstrating your jealousy, you will only once again convince the guy that he needs to leave you, even if he is still hesitant about making such a decision.

Female investigator

Control and “torture” with interrogation usually stem from jealousy, but a woman does not always show a desire to control a man “under jealousy.” Very often we try to veil the desire to know about every step of our loved one into concern about him, about his health, life and well-being. In reality, we are worried about ourselves.

But even if we assume that you are really worried, all the same, a man views this: either as an encroachment on his freedom; or as an attempt to dominate him even in small things. The guy does not forgive such an attitude, especially if he is not used to reporting for his every step to his mother or older sister.

Constant attempts at total control over a man’s movement in space, treating him as a suspect in a crime and the ensuing “investigative experiments” with “noticing” time and asking “inconvenient” questions are almost guaranteed to lead to the guy leaving you.

Let me take an example from the life of one of my clients. This will be a little long, but I want to convey the absurdity of the situation:

- Okay, the street was blocked, but you could go through the yard!
“At first I went that way, but there was a big puddle in the yard, and I was forced to go back to the bus stop and walk along the boulevard - in a detour.”
- Well, where was this puddle?
— Just under the arch in front of the entrance to the courtyard, it was impossible to get around it without getting your feet wet!
- Let's say tomorrow I'll check whether there is a puddle there or not. But you didn’t have to go back, but went along the side street!
- Listen, tomorrow the puddle may dry up, and you won’t see anything there anymore!
- It’s okay, if, as you say, the puddle was very large, then it won’t have time to dry... but don’t dodge, answer the question!
- Which one?!
- Which I just asked you!
“Is this about why I couldn’t get through the yard?”
- Don't make a fool of yourself! I asked why didn't you go down the side street?!!!
— Because this street has bad coverage, and I thought that there were also a lot of big puddles after the rain.
- Did you see that? Did you see these puddles or just thought that they might be there?
- No, I didn’t see any puddles, because I immediately returned to the bus stop!
- So you didn’t see the puddles, so why do you claim that they were there?!!!
“I’m not saying, I’m guessing!”
- Well, okay, let's leave this question for now. So you're saying you took a detour, right?
- Well, yes!
- Yeah, we count... from the stop to the arch - about 10 minutes, the same time back, total 20. From the stop to the cinema across the boulevard, about another 10 minutes, total 30 minutes. But you spent a whole (I’ll look at my watch now) 37 minutes on the road!!!
“Listen, we’re already late for the cinema because of the showdown you started here.”
“So you’re saying that today is ruined because of me?!” It turns out interesting... and it’s all my fault!!! And all because you are lying to me!!! Tell the truth, where have you been all this time???!!!

Funny? From the outside - yes, but for a guy there is nothing funny in this, especially if this is repeated for any reason and for no reason.

The woman is the owner “you are my life!”

Typically, representatives of this behavior model torment the guy with their attention. Not even that - they demand undivided attention to themselves and simply “crush” a man with their love, demanding that the guy spend all his time in their company.

This is less reminiscent of jealousy and deprivation of basic freedoms, but you still need to remember that, despite your boundless love for your partner, he is a person, and a free person. The guy will not necessarily experience exactly the same feelings for you that you experience for him, but this does not mean that he does not love you!

No, he loves you and loves you very much, but he also has other interests - work, friends, parents, a desire to be alone with himself, to engage in his favorite hobby, etc. If you yourself do not have such desires, this does not mean that the guy should give up his own, only for the reason that he is “the only light in the window” for you and therefore is simply obliged to love you in exactly the way that you do to him you impose.

If, after reading this article, you recognize yourself in it or find even a slight similarity, consider adjusting your behavior, otherwise you have every chance of joining the ranks of those who ask the question: “Why did He leave me?” and... does not find an answer.

FROM THE AUTHOR: My responses in the comments are the opinion of an individual and not the advice of a specialist. I’m trying to answer everyone without exception, but unfortunately I don’t physically have time to study long stories, analyze them, ask questions about them and then answer in detail, and I also don’t have the opportunity to accompany your situations, because this requires a huge amount of free time, and I have very little of it.

In this regard, I kindly ask you to ask specific questions on the topic of the article, and do not expect that I will advise in the comments or accompany your situation.

Of course, you can ignore my request (which many people do), but in this case, be prepared for the fact that I may not answer you. This is not a matter of principle, but solely of time and my physical capabilities. Don't be offended.

If you want to receive qualified help, please seek advice, and I will devote my time and knowledge to you with full dedication.

With respect and hope for understanding, Frederica

Women are amazing in some of their qualities. For example, any woman can do the same thing over and over again and expect different results, regardless of age and level of education. How to get out of this vicious circle? After all, it is precisely because of the persistent actions of women themselves that they often develop problems in personal life.

The reaction to your actions is an indisputable fact... If you want to be a happy, attention-loving woman, you should change some habitual things that you don’t even attach importance to. These behavioral traits have their sad consequences!

Women's mistakes in relationships

Hyperfunctionality - property female psyche when a woman has poor self-control. She cannot stop actively acting and wants to do everything on her own, in no other way. She has answers to everything and will fight back against anyone. But why does this never bring happiness? Think about it…

This is a real creative laboratory! A team of true like-minded people, each an expert in their field, united by a common goal: to help people. We create materials that are truly worth sharing, and our beloved readers serve as a source of inexhaustible inspiration for us!

Many girls do not know how, and perhaps do not know, how to behave with guys - neither school, nor college, nor even the most experienced friends of the same age will help you choose the right tactics. All comes with experience. The main thing is that disappointment in yourself and in men does not become the reason for long-term loneliness.

Error 1

Self-doubt and the desire for an illusory ideal are the first enemies of sincere relationships. A man is looking for calmness, tenderness and warmth next to a woman - is a nervous girl who does not love herself capable of this? It is enough to be feminine, natural, friendly and sincere, and mistakes of love will not be made.

Error 2

Overly confident young ladies think that they can change a man. People do not change! The attitude towards a particular situation changes, but not the person himself. The ban on meeting friends, going to sports matches or getting together with beer are the main mistakes girls make in relationships.

A normal man will never make a choice between his beloved and friends - for him these are parallel Universes. Changing small everyday habits is completely useless; it’s better to observe yourself: is the girl herself so ideal in everyday life?

Error 3

Keep sharp mood swings, dull silence, causeless outbursts of anger or bouts of idiotic merriment to yourself, dear girls (unless, of course, this is a character trait that a guy is crazy about).

Everyone’s favorite PMS, men consider it an “excuse” for hysterics, so be careful with emotions and their manifestation, because... These are also mistakes girls make in relationships.

Error 4

In no case should a man be made into a “vest” into which to cry - excessive frankness, constant boring conversations about study, work, internal problems, etc. over time they will push him away. Discuss with a man only those problems that concern the two of you, where his advice or help is needed.

Error 5

Unreasonable jealousy, monitoring his calls and correspondence, studying the contents of his pockets and phone - this is the worst thing you can think of. This is a nightmare, perhaps, for all representatives of the stronger sex. The desire to put a man on a short leash will, in any case, sooner or later end in separation. If he wants to cheat, he will still cheat, and he will do it in such a way that no one will know anything, but you should not push him to another girl with your behavior.

We solemnly promise to lose weight

Not to ourselves, of course, but to all subscribers on Instagram. As a result, we earn ourselves a dislocation of the shoulder joint, trying to take a selfie that won’t show that our attempt to lose weight has failed again.

We buy underwear in the wrong size

Or the wrong model. Because it is so beautiful, the color of a young squash. You have to take it, you won’t find anything like it later!

We provoke a huge scandal out of the blue

Did your sweetie forget to buy bread on the way home? Did your friend tell you that you have changed a lot? Mom asks again why you don’t have a single clean cup in your house? Is your store assistant following you around? Hatred! Kill!

Going through his phone

We find evidence of his infidelity there and reproach ourselves: why did we even need to go there?! Or we don’t find anything - and we can’t calm down for another week: this is the real proof of treason! Covers his tracks well, scoundrel! The most typical mistake girls in relationships.

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