Little people. Yellow dwarf

Many years ago, in one large city of my dear fatherland, Germany, the shoemaker Friedrich once lived with his wife Hannah. All day he sat by the window and put patches on his shoes. He would also undertake to sew new shoes if someone ordered them, but then he had to buy leather first. He could not stock up on goods in advance - there was no money. And Hannah sold fruits and vegetables from her small garden at the market. She was a neat woman, knew how to arrange goods beautifully, and she always had a lot of customers.

Hannah and Friedrich had a son, Jacob, a slender, handsome boy, quite tall for his twelve years. He usually sat next to his mother at the market. When a cook or cook bought a lot of vegetables from Hannah at once, Jacob helped them carry the purchase home and rarely returned empty-handed.

Hannah's customers loved the pretty boy and almost always gave him something: a flower, a cake, or a coin.

One day Hannah, as always, was trading at the market. In front of her stood several baskets with cabbage, potatoes, roots and all sorts of greens. There were also early pears, apples, and apricots in a small basket.

Jacob sat next to his mother and shouted loudly:

- Here, here, cooks, cooks!.. Here is good cabbage, greens, pears, apples! Who needs? Mother will give it away cheaply!

And suddenly a poorly dressed old woman with small red eyes, a sharp face wrinkled with age and a long, very long nose that went down to her chin approached them. The old woman leaned on a crutch, and it was surprising that she could walk at all: she limped, slid and waddled, as if she had wheels on her legs. It seemed that she was about to fall and poke her sharp nose into the ground.

Hannah looked at the old woman with curiosity. She has been trading at the market for almost sixteen years now, and she has never seen such a wonderful old woman. She even felt a little creepy when the old woman stopped near her baskets.

— Are you Hannah, the vegetable seller? - asked the old woman in a raspy voice, shaking her head all the time.

“Yes,” answered the shoemaker’s wife. - Do you want to buy something?

“We’ll see, we’ll see,” the old woman muttered under her breath. “We’ll look at the greens, we’ll look at the roots.” Do you still have what I need...

She bent down and began to rummage with her long brown fingers in the basket of bunches of greenery that Hannah had arranged so beautifully and neatly. He will take a bunch, bring it to his nose and sniff it from all sides, followed by another, a third.

Hannah's heart was breaking—it was so hard for her to watch the old woman handle the greens. But she could not say a word to her - the buyer has the right to inspect the goods. Moreover, she became more and more afraid of this old woman.

Having turned over all the greens, the old woman straightened up and grumbled:

- Bad product!.. Bad greens!.. There is nothing that I need. Fifty years ago it was much better!.. Bad product! Bad product!

These words angered little Jacob.

- Hey you, shameless old woman! - he shouted. “I sniffed all the greens with my long nose, crushed the roots with my clumsy fingers, so now no one will buy them, and you still swear that it’s a bad product!” The Duke's chef himself buys from us!

The old woman looked sideways at the boy and said in a hoarse voice:

“Don’t you like my nose, my nose, my beautiful long nose?” And you will have the same one, right up to your chin.

She rolled to another basket - with cabbage, took out several wonderful, white heads of cabbage and squeezed them so hard that they crackled pitifully. Then she somehow threw the heads of cabbage back into the basket and said again:

- Bad product! Bad cabbage!

- Don’t shake your head so disgustingly! - Jacob shouted. “Your neck is no thicker than a stalk, and the next thing you know, it will break off and your head will fall into our basket.” Who will buy what from us then?

- So, in your opinion, my neck is too thin? - said the old woman, still grinning. - Well, you will be completely without a neck. Your head will stick straight out of your shoulders—at least it won’t fall off your body.

- Don't say such nonsense to the boy! “Hannah finally said, getting really angry. - If you want to buy something, buy it quickly. You will drive away all my customers.

The old woman looked at Hannah angrily.

“Okay, okay,” she grumbled. - Let it be your way. I'll take these six heads of cabbage from you. But I only have a crutch in my hands, and I can’t carry anything myself. Let your son bring my purchase home to me. I will reward him well for this.

Jacob really didn’t want to go, and he even cried - he was afraid of this terrible old woman. But his mother strictly ordered him to obey - it seemed sinful to her to force an old, weak woman to bear such a burden. Wiping his tears, Jacob put the cabbage in the basket and followed the old woman.

She did not wander very quickly, and almost an hour passed until they reached some distant street on the outskirts of the city and stopped in front of a small dilapidated house.

The old woman took some kind of rusty hook out of her pocket, deftly stuck it into a hole in the door, and suddenly the door swung open with a noise. Jacob entered and froze in place in surprise: the ceilings and walls in the house were marble, armchairs, chairs and tables were made of ebony, decorated with gold and precious stones, and the floor was glass and so smooth that Jacob slipped and fell several times.

The old woman put a small silver whistle to her lips and somehow in a special way, loudly, whistled - so that the whistle crackled throughout the whole house. And now guinea pigs quickly ran down the stairs - completely unusual guinea pigs that walked on two legs. Instead of shoes, they had nutshells, and these pigs were dressed just like people - they even remembered to take hats.

“Where did you put my shoes, you scoundrels!” - the old woman shouted and hit the pigs with a stick so hard that they jumped up squealing. - How long will I stand here?..

The pigs ran up the stairs and brought two shells coconut lined with leather and deftly placed them on the old woman’s feet.

The old woman immediately stopped limping. She tossed her stick aside and quickly slid across the glass floor, dragging little Jacob behind her. It was even difficult for him to keep up with her, she moved so quickly in her coconut shells.

Finally, the old woman stopped in a room where there was a lot of all kinds of dishes. It was apparently a kitchen, although the floors were covered with carpets, and the sofas were covered with embroidered pillows, as if in some palace.

“Sit down, son,” the old woman said affectionately and sat Jacob down on the sofa, moving the table to the sofa so that Jacob could not leave his place. - Take a good rest - you're probably tired. After all, human heads are not an easy note.

- What are you talking about! - Jacob shouted. “I was really tired, but I was not carrying heads, but heads of cabbage.” You bought them from my mother.

“It’s wrong to say that,” the old woman said and laughed.

And, opening the basket, she pulled out a human head by the hair.

Jacob almost fell, he was so scared. He immediately thought about his mother. After all, if anyone finds out about these heads, they will immediately report her, and she will have a bad time.

“We also need to reward you for being so obedient,” the old woman continued. “Be patient a little: I’ll cook you such soup that you’ll remember it until you die.”

She blew her whistle again, and the guinea pigs came rushing into the kitchen, dressed like people: in aprons, with ladle and kitchen knives in their belts. Squirrels came running after them - a lot of squirrels, also on two legs; they were wearing wide trousers and green velvet caps. Apparently these were cooks. They quickly, quickly climbed the walls and brought bowls and pans, eggs, butter, roots and flour to the stove. And the old woman herself was bustling around the stove, rolling back and forth on her coconut shells - she obviously really wanted to cook something good for Jacob. The fire under the stove was growing hotter, something was hissing and smoking in the frying pans, and a pleasant, tasty smell was wafting through the room. The old woman rushed here and there and kept poking her long nose into the pot of soup to see if the food was ready.

Finally, something began to bubble and gurgle in the pot, steam poured out of it, and thick foam poured onto the fire.

Then the old woman took the pot off the stove, poured soup from it into a silver bowl and placed the bowl in front of Jacob.

“Eat, son,” she said. - Eat this soup and you will be as beautiful as me. And you will become a good cook - you need to know some kind of craft.

Jacob didn’t quite understand that it was the old woman muttering to herself, and he didn’t listen to her—he was more occupied with the soup. His mother often cooked all sorts of delicious things for him, but he had never tasted anything better than this soup. It smelled so good of greens and roots, it was both sweet and sour, and also very strong.

When Jacob had almost finished the soup, the pigs were lit. in a small brazier there was some kind of smoking with a pleasant smell, and clouds of bluish smoke floated throughout the room. It became thicker and thicker, enveloping the boy more and more tightly, so that Jacob finally became dizzy. In vain did he tell himself that it was time for him to return to his mother; in vain did he try to get to his feet. As soon as he got up, he fell back onto the sofa - he suddenly wanted to sleep so much. Not even five minutes had passed before he actually fell asleep on the sofa, in the kitchen of the ugly old woman.

And Jacob saw an amazing dream. He dreamed that the old woman took off his clothes and wrapped him in a squirrel skin. He learned to jump and hop like a squirrel and made friends with other squirrels and pigs. They were all very good.

And Jacob, like them, began to serve the old woman. At first he had to be a shoe shiner. He had to oil the coconut shells that the old woman wore on her feet and rub them with a cloth so that they would shine. At home, Jacob often had to clean his shoes and shoes, so things quickly improved for him.

About a year later he was transferred to another, more difficult position. Together with several other squirrels, he caught dust particles from sunbeam and sifted them through the finest sieve, and then they baked bread for the old woman. She didn’t have a single tooth left in her mouth, that’s why she had to eat buns made from specks of sunshine, softer than which, as everyone knows, there is nothing in the world.

A year later, Jacob was tasked with getting the old woman water to drink. Do you think she had a well dug in her yard or a bucket placed to collect rainwater? No, the old woman didn’t even take plain water into her mouth. Jacob and the squirrels collected dew from flowers in nutshells, and the old woman only drank it. And she drank a lot, so the water-carriers had their hands full.

Another year passed, and Jacob went to work in the rooms - cleaning the floors. This also turned out to be not a very easy task: the floors were glass - you can breathe on them, and you can see it. Jacob cleaned them with brushes and rubbed them with cloth, which he wrapped around his feet.

In the fifth year, Jacob began working in the kitchen. This was an honorable job, to which one was admitted with scrutiny, after a long trial. Jacob went through all the positions, from cook to senior cake maker, and became such an experienced and skillful cook that even he surprised himself. Why hasn't he learned to cook? The most intricate dishes - two hundred varieties of cake, soups made from all the herbs and roots that there are in the world - he knew how to prepare everything quickly and tasty.

So Jacob lived with the old woman for seven years. And then one day she put her nut shells on her feet, took a crutch and a basket to go to the city, and ordered Jacob to pluck a chicken, stuff it with herbs and brown it thoroughly. Jacob immediately got to work. He twisted the bird's head, scalded it all with boiling water, and deftly plucked its feathers. scraped the skin. so that it became tender and shiny, and he took out the insides. Then he needed herbs to stuff the chicken with. He went to the pantry, where the old woman kept all sorts of greens, and began to select what he needed.

And suddenly he saw a small cabinet in the wall of the pantry, which he had never noticed before. The locker door was ajar. Jacob looked into it with curiosity and saw that there were some small baskets there. He opened one of them and saw strange herbs that he had never come across before. Their stems were greenish, and on each stem there was a bright red flower with a yellow rim.

Jacob brought one flower to his nose and suddenly felt a familiar smell - the same as the soup that the old woman fed him when he came to her. The smell was so strong that Jacob sneezed loudly several times and woke up.

He looked around in surprise and saw that he was lying on the same sofa in the old woman’s kitchen.

“Well, what a dream it was! It's like it's real! - Jacob thought. “Mother will laugh when I tell her all this!” And I’ll get hit by her for falling asleep in someone else’s house, instead of returning to her at the market!”

He quickly jumped up from the sofa and wanted to run to his mother, but he felt that his whole body was like wood, and his neck was completely numb - he could barely move his head. Every now and then he would touch his nose against a wall or a closet, and once, when he quickly turned around, he even hit the door painfully. Squirrels and pigs ran around Jacob and squeaked - apparently, they did not want to let him go. Leaving the old woman's house, Jacob beckoned them to follow him - he, too, was sorry to part with them, but they quickly rolled back to the rooms on their shells, and the boy heard their plaintive squeak from afar for a long time.

The old woman’s house, as we already know, was far from the market, and Jacob made his way for a long time through narrow, winding alleys until he reached the market. There were a lot of people crowding the streets. There must have been a dwarf being shown somewhere nearby, because everyone around Jacob was shouting:

- Look, there’s an ugly dwarf! And where did he even come from? Well, he has a long nose! And the head sticks out right on the shoulders, without a neck! And the hands, the hands!.. Look - right down to the heels!

At another time, Jacob would have gladly run out to look at the dwarf, but today he had no time for that - he had to rush to his mother.

Finally Jacob reached the market. He was quite afraid that he would get it from his mother. Hannah was still sitting in her seat, and she had quite a few vegetables in her basket, which meant that Jacob had not slept very long. Already from a distance he noticed that his mother was saddened by something. She sat silently, resting her cheek on her hand, pale and sad.

Jacob stood for a long time, not daring to approach his mother. Finally he gathered his courage and, creeping up behind her, put his hand on her shoulder and said:

- Mom, what’s wrong with you? Are you mad at me? Hannah turned around and, seeing Jacob, screamed in horror.

- What do you want from me, scary dwarf? - she screamed. - Go away, go away! I can't stand jokes like that!

- What are you doing, mother? - Jacob said in fear. - You are probably unwell. Why are you chasing me?

“I’m telling you, go your way!” - Hannah shouted angrily. “You won’t get anything from me for your jokes, you disgusting freak!”

"She went crazy! - thought poor Jacob. “How can I take her home now?”

“Mommy, take a good look at me,” he said, almost crying. - I’m your son Jacob!

- No, this is too much! - Hannah shouted, turning to her neighbors. - Look at this terrible dwarf! He scares away all the buyers and even laughs at my grief! He says - I am your son, your Jacob, such a scoundrel!

Hannah's neighbors jumped to their feet and began to scold Jacob:

- How dare you joke about her grief! Her son was kidnapped seven years ago. What a boy he was - just a picture! Get out now, or we'll claw your eyes out!

Poor Jacob didn’t know what to think. After all, this morning he came with his mother to the market and helped her lay out the vegetables, then he took cabbage to the old woman’s house, went to see her, ate soup at her place, slept a little and now returned. And the traders talk about some seven years. And he, Jacob, is called a nasty dwarf. What happened to them?

Jacob wandered out of the market with tears in his eyes. Since his mother does not want to acknowledge him, he will go to his father.

“We’ll see,” Jacob thought. “Will my father also drive me away?” I’ll stand at the door and talk to him.”

He went up to the shoemaker's shop, who, as always, was sitting there and working, stood near the door and looked into the shop. Friedrich was so busy with work that he did not notice Jacob at first. But suddenly he accidentally raised his head, dropped the awl and dredge from his hands and screamed:

- What it is? What's happened?

“Good evening, master,” said Jacob and entered the shop. - How are you doing?

- It’s bad, my sir, it’s bad! - answered the shoemaker, who also apparently did not recognize Jacob. - Work is not going well at all. I am already many years old, and I am alone - there is not enough money to hire an apprentice.

- Don’t you have a son who could help you? - Jacob asked.

“I had one son, his name was Jacob,” answered the shoemaker. - Now he would be twenty years old. He would have been great at supporting me. After all, he was only twelve years old, and he was so smart! And he already knew something about the craft, and he was a handsome man. He would have been able to attract customers, I wouldn’t have to put on patches now - I would only sew new shoes. Yes, apparently, this is my destiny!

-Where is your son now? - Jacob asked timidly.

“Only God knows about that,” the shoemaker answered with a heavy sigh. “Seven years have passed since he was taken away from us at the market.”

- Seven years! - Jacob repeated with horror.

- Yes, sir, seven years. As I remember now. my wife came running from the market, howling. shouts: it’s already evening, but the child has not returned. She looked for him all day, asked everyone if they had seen him, but she didn’t find him. I always said this would end. Our Jacob—it’s true, it’s true—was a handsome child, his wife was proud of him and often sent him to take vegetables or something else to kind people. It’s a shame to say that he was always well rewarded, but I often said:

“Look, Hannah! The city is big, there are many evil people. No matter what happens to our Jacob!” And so it happened! That day, some old, ugly woman came to the market, chose and selected goods, and in the end bought so many that she could not carry them herself. Hannah, kind soul,” and they sent the boy with her... So we never saw him again.

- And that means seven years have passed since then?

- It will be seven in the spring. We already announced about him, and went around to people, asking about the boy - after all, many knew him, everyone loved him, a handsome man, - but no matter how much we looked, we never found him. And no one has seen the woman who bought vegetables from Hannah since then. One ancient old woman, who had been in the world for ninety years, told Hannah that it might be the evil witch Kreuterweiss, who came to the city once every fifty years to buy provisions.

So Jacob's father told the story, tapping his boot with a hammer and pulling out a long waxed sheet. Now Jacob finally understood what had happened to him. This means that he didn’t see this in a dream, but really was a squirrel for seven years and served with an evil witch. His heart was literally breaking with frustration. An old woman stole seven years of his life, and what did he get for it? I learned how to clean coconut shells and polish glass floors, and learned how to cook all sorts of delicious foods!

For a long time he stood on the threshold of the shop without saying a word. Finally the shoemaker asked him:

“Perhaps you liked something about me, sir?” Would you take a pair of shoes or at least,” here he suddenly burst out laughing, “a nose case?”

- What's wrong with my nose? - said Jacob. - Why do I need a case for it?

“It’s your choice,” answered the shoemaker, “but if I had such a terrible nose, I would, dare I say, hide it in a case—a good case made of pink kid.” Look, I have just the right piece. True, your nose will need a lot of skin. But as you wish, my sir. After all, you probably often touch doors with your nose.

Jacob could not say a word from surprise. He felt his nose - the nose was thick and long, about two quarters long, no less. Apparently, the evil old woman turned him into a freak. That's why his mother didn't recognize him.

“Master,” he said, almost crying, “do you have a mirror here?” I need to look in the mirror, I definitely need to.

“To tell the truth, sir,” replied the shoemaker, “you don’t have the kind of appearance to be proud of.” There is no need for you to look in the mirror every minute. Give up this habit - it really doesn’t suit you at all.

- Give me, give me a mirror quickly! - Jacob begged. - I assure you, I really need it. True, I’m not out of pride...

- Oh, come on! I don't have a mirror! - the shoemaker got angry. “My wife had one tiny one, but I don’t know where she touched it.” If you really can’t wait to look at yourself, over there is Urban’s barber’s shop. He has a mirror, twice the size of you. Look at it as much as you like. And then - I wish you good health.

And the shoemaker gently pushed Jacob out of the shop and slammed the door behind him. Jacob quickly crossed the street and entered the barber, whom he had previously known well.

— Good morning"Urban," he said. “I have a big request to ask: please, let me look in your mirror.”

- Do me a favor. There it stands in the left wall! - Urban shouted and laughed loudly. - Admire, admire yourself, you are a real handsome man - thin, slender, swan-like neck, hands like a queen’s, and a snub nose - there is nothing better in the world! Of course, you flaunt it a little, but whatever, look at yourself. Let them not say that out of envy I did not allow you to look at my mirror.

The visitors who came to Urban for a shave and haircut laughed deafeningly as they listened to his jokes. Jacob walked up to the mirror and involuntarily recoiled. Tears welled up in his eyes. Is it really him, this ugly dwarf! His eyes became small, like those of a pig, his huge nose hung below his chin, and it was as if there was no neck at all. His head sunk deep into his shoulders, and he could hardly turn it at all. And he was the same height as seven years ago - very small. Other boys grew taller over the years, but Jacob grew wider. His back and chest were very wide, and he looked like a large, tightly stuffed sack. His thin, short legs could barely carry his heavy body. On the contrary, the arms with hooked fingers were long, like those of an adult man, and hung almost to the ground. Such was poor Jacob now.

“Yes,” he thought, taking a deep breath, “no wonder you didn’t recognize your son, mother!” He wasn’t like this before, when you loved to show him off to your neighbors!”

He remembered how the old woman approached his mother that morning. Everything he laughed at then—his long nose and ugly fingers—he received from the old woman for his ridicule. And she took his neck away, as she promised...

- Well, have you seen enough of yourself, my handsome man? - Urban asked with a laugh, going to the mirror and looking Jacob from head to toe. “Honestly, you wouldn’t see such a funny dwarf in your dreams.” You know, baby, I want to offer you one thing. There are quite a few people in my barbershop, but not as many as before. And all because my neighbor, the barber Shaum, got himself a giant somewhere who lures visitors to him. Well, becoming a giant, generally speaking, is not so tricky, but becoming a little one like you is a different matter. Come into my service, baby. You will receive housing, food, and clothing from me, but all you have to do is stand at the door of the barber shop and invite people. Yes, perhaps, still whip up the soap foam and hand over the towel. And I’ll tell you for sure, we’ll both benefit: I’ll have more visitors than Shaum and his giant, and everyone will give you more tea.

Jacob was very offended in his heart - how could he be offered to be bait in a barber shop! - but what can you do, I had to endure this insult. He calmly replied that he was too busy and could not take on such work, and left.

Although Jacob's body was disfigured, his head worked as well as before. He felt that during these seven years he had become quite an adult.

“It’s not a problem that I became a freak,” he thought, walking down the street. “It’s a shame that both my father and mother drove me away like a dog.” I'll try to talk to my mother again. Maybe she will recognize me after all.”

He went to the market again and, approaching Hannah, asked her to calmly listen to what he had to tell her. He reminded her how the old woman took him away, listed everything that happened to him in childhood, and told her that he had lived for seven years with a witch, who turned him first into a squirrel, and then into a dwarf because he laughed at her.

Hannah didn't know what to think. Everything that the dwarf said about his childhood was correct, but she could not believe that he had been a squirrel for seven years.

- This is impossible! - she exclaimed. Finally, Hannah decided to consult her husband.

She collected her baskets and invited Jacob to go with her to the shoemaker's shop. When they arrived, Hannah said to her husband:

- This dwarf says that he is our son Jacob. He told me that seven years ago he was stolen from us and bewitched by a sorceress...

- Oh, that's how it is! - the shoemaker interrupted her angrily. - So he told you all this? Wait, stupid! I myself was just telling him about our Jacob, and he, you see, comes straight to you and lets fool you... So, you say, they have bewitched you? Come on, I’ll break the spell on you now.

The shoemaker grabbed the belt and, jumping up to Jacob, whipped him so hard that he ran out of the shop crying loudly.

The poor dwarf wandered around the city all day without eating or drinking. Nobody pitied him, and everyone just laughed at him. He had to spend the night on the church stairs, right on the hard, cold steps.

As soon as the sun rose, Jacob got up and again went to wander the streets.

And then Jacob remembered that while he was a squirrel and lived with an old woman, he managed to learn how to cook well. And he decided to become a cook for the Duke.

And the Duke, the ruler of that country, was a famous eater and gourmand. He loved to eat well most of all and hired chefs from all over the world.

Jacob waited a little until it was completely dawn and headed towards the ducal palace.

His heart was beating loudly as he approached the palace gates. The gatekeepers asked him what he needed and began to make fun of him, but Jacob was not taken aback and said that he wanted to see the main head of the kitchen. He was led through some courtyards, and everyone who saw him from the duke's servants ran after him and laughed loudly.

Soon Jacob had a huge retinue. The grooms abandoned their combs, the boys raced to keep up with him, the floor polishers stopped beating the carpets. Everyone crowded around Jacob, and there was such a noise and hubbub in the courtyard, as if enemies were approaching the city. Screams were heard everywhere:

- Dwarf! Dwarf! Have you seen the dwarf? Finally, the palace caretaker, a sleepy fat man with a huge whip in his hand, came into the courtyard.

- Hey you dogs! What is this noise? - he shouted in a thunderous voice, mercilessly beating his whip on the shoulders and backs of the grooms and servants. “Don’t you know that the Duke is still sleeping?”

“Sir,” answered the gatekeepers, “look who we brought to you!” A real dwarf! You've probably never seen anything like this before.

Seeing Jacob, the caretaker made a terrible grimace and pressed his lips together as tightly as possible so as not to laugh - his importance did not allow him to laugh in front of the grooms. He dispersed the crowd with his whip and, taking Jacob by the hand, led him into the palace and asked what he needed. Hearing that Jacob wanted to see the head of the kitchen, the caretaker exclaimed:

- It's not true, son! It's me you need, palace caretaker. You want to join the Duke as a dwarf, don't you?

“No, sir,” Jacob answered. “I’m a good cook and I can cook all sorts of rare dishes.” Please take me to the kitchen manager. Maybe he will agree to try my art.

“Your choice, kid,” answered the caretaker, “you are still a stupid guy.” If you were a court dwarf, you could do nothing, eat, drink, have fun and walk around in beautiful clothes, but you want to go to the kitchen! But we'll see. You are hardly a skilled enough cook to prepare food for the Duke himself, and you are too good for a cook.

Having said this, the caretaker took Jacob to the head of the kitchen. The dwarf bowed low to him and said:

- Dear Sir, do you need a skilled cook?

The kitchen manager looked Jacob up and down and laughed loudly.

- Do you want to be a cook? - he exclaimed. - Why do you think the stoves in our kitchen are so low? After all, you won’t see anything on them, even if you stand on tiptoe. No, my little friend, the one who advised you to become a cook for me played a bad joke on you.

And the head of the kitchen burst out laughing again, followed by the palace caretaker and all those who were in the room. Jacob, however, was not embarrassed.

- Mr. Kitchen Manager! - he said. “You probably wouldn’t mind giving me one or two eggs, a little flour, wine and seasonings.” Instruct me to prepare some dish and order me to serve everything that is needed for it. I will cook a meal in front of everyone, and you will say: “This is a real cook!”

He spent a long time persuading the head of the kitchen, glistening with his small eyes and convincingly shaking his head. Finally the boss agreed.

- OK! - he said. - Let's try it for fun! Let's all go to the kitchen, and you too, Mr. Warden of the Palace.

He took the palace keeper's arm and ordered Jacob to follow him. They walked for a long time through some large, luxurious rooms and long ones. corridors and finally came to the kitchen. It was a tall, spacious room with a huge stove with twenty burners, under which a fire burned day and night. In the middle of the kitchen there was a pool of water in which live fish were kept, and along the walls there were marble and wooden cabinets full of precious utensils. Next to the kitchen, in ten huge pantries, all kinds of supplies and delicacies were stored. Cooks, cooks, and scullery maids rushed back and forth around the kitchen, rattling pots, pans, spoons and knives. When the head of the kitchen appeared, everyone froze in place, and the kitchen became completely quiet; only the fire continued to crackle under the stove and the water continued to gurgle in the pool.

“What did Mister Duke order for his first breakfast today?” - the head of the kitchen asked the head breakfast manager - an old fat cook in a high cap.

“His Lordship was pleased to order Danish soup with red Hamburg dumplings,” the cook answered respectfully.

“Okay,” continued the kitchen manager. “Have you heard, dwarf, what Mister Duke wants to eat?” Can you be trusted with such difficult dishes? There's no way you can make Hamburg dumplings. This is the secret of our chefs.

“Nothing is easier,” answered the dwarf (when he was a squirrel, he often had to cook these dishes for the old woman). - For soup, give me such and such herbs and spices, wild boar lard, eggs and roots. And for the dumplings,” he spoke more quietly so that no one could hear him except the kitchen manager and the breakfast manager, “and for the dumplings I need four types of meat, a little beer, goose fat, ginger and an herb called “stomach comfort.”

- I swear on my honor, that’s right! - shouted the surprised cook. “Which sorcerer taught you how to cook?” You have listed everything down to the finest detail. And this is the first time I’ve heard about weed “comforting the stomach.” The dumplings will probably turn out even better with it. You are truly a miracle, not a cook!

- I would never have thought that! - said the kitchen manager. “However, we’ll do a test.” Give him supplies, dishes and everything he needs, and let him prepare breakfast for the Duke.

The cooks carried out his orders, but when they put everything that was needed on the stove, and the dwarf wanted to start cooking, it turned out that he could barely reach the top of the stove with the tip of his long nose. I had to move a chair to the stove, the dwarf climbed onto it and began to cook. The cooks, cooks, and scullery maids surrounded the dwarf in a tight ring and, with their eyes wide open in surprise, watched how quickly and deftly he handled everything.

Having prepared the food for cooking, the dwarf ordered to put both pans on the fire and not remove them until he ordered. Then he began to count: “One, two, three, four...” and, having counted exactly to five hundred, shouted: “That’s enough!”

The cooks moved the pots from the fire, and the dwarf invited the head of the kitchen to try his cooking.

The head cook ordered a golden spoon, rinsed it in the pool and handed it to the head of the kitchen. He solemnly approached the stove, removed the lids from the steaming pots and tried the soup and dumplings. Having swallowed a spoonful of soup, he closed his eyes with pleasure, clicked his tongue several times and said:

- Wonderful, wonderful, I swear on my honor! Would you like to be convinced, Mr. Palace Warden?

The palace caretaker took the spoon with a bow, tasted it and almost jumped with pleasure.

“I don’t want to offend you, dear breakfast manager,” he said, “you are a wonderful, experienced cook, but you have never managed to cook such soup and such dumplings.”

The cook also tried both dishes, respectfully shook the dwarf’s hand and said:

- Baby, you are a great master! Your “stomach comfort” herb gives the soup and dumplings a special flavor.

At this time, the Duke's servant appeared in the kitchen and demanded breakfast for his master. The food was immediately poured into silver plates and sent upstairs. The head of the kitchen, very pleased, took the dwarf into his room and wanted to ask him who he was and where he came from. But as soon as they sat down and began to talk, a messenger from the Duke came for the boss and said that the Duke was calling him. The head of the kitchen quickly put on his best dress and followed the messenger to the dining room.

The Duke sat there, lolling in his deep armchair. He ate everything on the plates clean and wiped his lips with a silk handkerchief. His face was shining and he was squinting sweetly with pleasure.

“Listen,” he said, seeing the head of the kitchen, “I’ve always been very pleased with your cooking, but today breakfast was especially delicious.” Tell me the name of the cook who prepared it: I will send him a few ducats as a reward.

“Sir, an amazing thing happened today,” said the kitchen manager.

And he told the duke how a dwarf was brought to him in the morning, who certainly wants to become the palace cook. The Duke, after listening to his story, was very surprised. He ordered to call the dwarf and began to ask him who he was. Poor Jacob didn’t want to say that he had been a squirrel for seven years and served with an old woman, but he didn’t like to lie either. Therefore, he only told the duke that he now had neither father nor mother and that he was taught to cook by an old woman. The Duke made fun of the strange appearance of the dwarf for a long time and finally said to him:

- So be it, stay with me. I will give you fifty ducats a year, one festive dress and, in addition, two pairs of trousers. For this, you will cook my breakfast every day, watch how lunch is prepared, and generally manage my table. And besides, I give nicknames to everyone who serves me. You will be called Dwarf Nose and will receive the title of assistant kitchen manager.

Dwarf Nose bowed to the Duke and thanked him for his mercy. When the Duke released him, Jacob joyfully returned to the kitchen. Now, finally, he could not worry about his fate and not think about what would happen to him tomorrow.

He decided to thank his master thoroughly, and not only the ruler of the country himself, but also all his courtiers could not praise the little cook enough. Since Dwarf Nose moved into the palace, the Duke has become, one might say, a completely different person. Before, he often happened to throw plates and glasses at the cooks if he didn’t like their cooking, and once he got so angry that he threw a poorly fried calf’s leg at the head of the kitchen himself. The foot hit the poor guy in the forehead, and after that he lay in bed for three days. All the cooks trembled with fear as they prepared the food.

But with the advent of Dwarf Nose, everything changed. The Duke now ate not three times a day, as before, but five times, and only praised the dwarf’s skill. Everything seemed delicious to him, and he became fatter day by day. He often invited the dwarf to his table along with the head of the kitchen and forced them to taste the food they had prepared.

Residents of the city could not marvel at this wonderful dwarf.

Every day, a crowd of people crowded at the door of the palace kitchen - everyone asked and begged the chief cook to let him have at least one glimpse of how the dwarf prepared the food. And the city's rich tried to get permission from the duke to send their cooks to the kitchen so that they could learn to cook from the dwarf. This gave the dwarf a considerable income - for each student he was paid half a ducat a day - but he gave all the money to other cooks so that they would not envy him.

So Jacob lived in the palace for two years. He would, perhaps, even be satisfied with his fate if he had not so often remembered his father and mother, who did not recognize him and drove him away. That was the only thing that upset him.

And then one day such an incident happened to him.

Dwarf Nose was very good at purchasing supplies. He always went to the market himself and chose geese, ducks, herbs and vegetables for the ducal table. One morning he went to the market to buy geese and for a long time could not find enough fat birds. He walked around the market several times, choosing a better goose. Now no one laughed at the dwarf. Everyone bowed low to him and respectfully made way. Every trader would be happy if he bought a goose from her.

Walking back and forth, Jacob suddenly noticed at the end of the market, away from the other traders, a woman whom he had not seen before. She also sold geese, but did not praise her goods like others, but sat silently, without saying a word. Jacob approached the woman and examined her geese. They were just the way he wanted them. Jacob bought three birds along with the cage - two ganders and one goose - put the cage on his shoulder and went back to the palace. And suddenly he noticed that two birds were cackling and flapping their wings, as good ganders should be, and the third - the goose - was sitting quietly and even seemed to sigh.

“This goose is sick,” thought Jacob. “As soon as I arrive at the palace, I will immediately order her to be killed before she dies.”

And suddenly the bird, as if guessing his thoughts, said:

- Don't cut me -

I'll lock you up.

If you break my neck,

You will die before your time.

Jacob almost dropped the cage.

- These are miracles! - he shouted. “It turns out you can talk, Mrs. Goose!” Don't be afraid, I won't kill such an amazing bird. I bet you didn't always wear goose feathers. After all, I was once a little squirrel.

“Your truth,” answered the goose. - I was not born a bird. No one thought that Mimi, the daughter of the great Wetterbock, would end her life under a chef’s knife on the kitchen table.

- Don't worry, dear Mimi! - Jacob exclaimed. “If I weren’t an honest man and His Lordship’s chief cook, if someone touched you with a knife!” You will live in a beautiful cage in my room, and I will feed you and talk to you. And I’ll tell the other cooks that I feed the goose with special herbs for the Duke himself. And not even a month will pass before I figure out a way to release you into freedom.

Mimi thanked the dwarf with tears in her eyes, and Jacob fulfilled everything he promised. He said in the kitchen that he would fatten the goose in a special way that no one knew, and he placed her cage in his room. Mimi did not receive goose food, but cookies, sweets and all sorts of delicacies, and as soon as Jacob had a free minute, he immediately ran to chat with her.

Mimi told Jacob that she had been turned into a goose and brought to this city by an old witch, with whom her father, the famous wizard Wetterbock, had once quarreled. The dwarf also told Mimi his story, and Mimi said:

“I understand something about witchcraft—my father taught me a little of his wisdom.” I guess that the old woman bewitched you with a magic herb that she put in the soup when you brought cabbage home to her. If you find this weed and smell it, you might become like other people again.

This, of course, did not particularly console the dwarf: how could he find this grass? But he still had a little hope.

A few days after this, a prince, his neighbor and friend, came to stay with the duke. The Duke immediately called the dwarf to him and said to him:

“Now it’s time to show whether you serve me faithfully and whether you know your art well.” This prince, who came to visit me, loves to eat well and understands cooking. Look, prepare for us such dishes that the prince will be surprised every day. And don’t even think about serving the same dish twice while the prince is visiting me. Then you will have no mercy. Take from my treasurer everything you need, even give us baked gold, just so as not to disgrace yourself before the prince.

“Don’t worry, Your Grace,” Jacob replied, bowing low. “I’ll be able to please your dainty prince.”

And Dwarf Nose eagerly set to work. All day long he stood at the flaming stove and ceaselessly gave orders in his thin voice. A crowd of cooks and cooks rushed around the kitchen, hanging on his every word. Jacob spared neither himself nor others in order to please his master.

The prince had been visiting the duke for two weeks already. They ate at least five times a day, and the Duke was delighted. He saw that his guest liked the dwarf's cooking. On the fifteenth day, the Duke called Jacob into the dining room, showed him to the Prince and asked if the Prince was satisfied with the skill of his cook.

“You cook well,” the prince said to the dwarf, “and you understand what it means to eat well.” During the entire time I’ve been here, you haven’t served a single dish on the table twice, and everything was very tasty. But tell me, why haven’t you treated us to the “queen’s pie” yet? This is the most delicious pie in the world.

The dwarf's heart sank: he had never heard of such a pie. But he didn’t show any sign that he was embarrassed, and answered:

“Oh, sir, I hoped that you would stay with us for a long time, and I wanted to treat you to the “queen’s pie” as a farewell. After all, this is the king of all pies, as you yourself well know.

- Oh, that's how it is! - said the Duke and laughed. “You’ve never treated me to the queen’s pie either.” You will probably bake it on the day of my death to pamper me one last time. But come up with another dish for this occasion! And the “queen’s pie” will be on the table tomorrow! Do you hear?

“I hear you, Mister Duke,” Jacob answered and left, preoccupied and upset.

That's when his day of shame came! How does he know how this pie is baked?

He went to his room and began to cry bitterly. Mimi the goose saw this from her cage and felt sorry for him.

-What are you crying about, Jacob? - she asked, and when Jacob told her about the “queen’s pie,” she said: “Wipe your tears and don’t be upset.” This pie was often served in our home, and I seem to remember how to bake it. Take so much flour and add such and such seasoning - and the pie is ready. And if it lacks something, it’s not a big deal. The Duke and Prince won't notice anyway. They don't have such a picky taste.

Dwarf Nose jumped for joy and immediately began baking a pie. First he made a small pie and gave it to the head of the kitchen to try. He found it to be very tasty. Then Jacob baked a large pie and sent it straight from the oven to the table. And he put on his festive dress and went to the dining room to see how the Duke and Prince liked this new pie.

When he entered, the butler was just cutting off a large piece of pie, serving it to the prince on a silver spatula, and then another similar piece to the duke. The Duke took half a bite at once, chewed the pie, swallowed it and leaned back in his chair with a satisfied look.

- Oh, how delicious! - he exclaimed. “It’s not for nothing that this pie is called the king of all pies.” But my dwarf is the king of all cooks. Isn't it true, prince?

The prince carefully bit off a tiny piece, chewed it thoroughly, rubbed it with his tongue and said, smiling indulgently and pushing the plate away:

- Not a bad dish! But he is far from being the “queen’s pie”. I thought so!

The Duke blushed with annoyance and frowned angrily:

- Nasty dwarf! - he shouted. “How dare you disgrace your master like that?” You should have your head cut off for cooking like that!

- Master! - Jacob shouted, falling to his knees. — I baked this pie properly. Everything you need is included in it.

- You're lying, scoundrel! - the Duke shouted and pushed the dwarf away with his foot. “My guest would not be in vain to say that there is something missing in the pie.” I’ll order you to be ground up and baked into a pie, you such a freak!

- Have mercy on me! - the dwarf cried pitifully, grabbing the prince by the hem of his dress. “Don’t let me die over a handful of flour and meat!” Tell me, what’s missing in this pie, why didn’t you like it so much?

“That won’t help you much, my dear Nose,” the prince answered with a laugh. “I already thought yesterday that you wouldn’t be able to bake this pie the way my cook bakes it.” It's missing one herb that no one knows about. It’s called “sneeze for health.” Without this herb, the “queen's pie” will not taste the same, and your master will never have to taste it the way I make it.

- No, I’ll try it, and very soon! - the Duke shouted. “I swear on my ducal honor, either you will see such a pie on the table tomorrow, or the head of this scoundrel will stick out on the gates of my palace.” Get out, dog! I give you twenty-four hours to save your life.

The poor dwarf, weeping bitterly, went to his room and complained to the goose about his grief. Now he can no longer escape death! After all, he had never heard of the herb called “sneeze for health.”

“If that’s the problem,” said Mimi, “then I can help you.” My father taught me to recognize all the herbs. If it had been two weeks ago, you might really have been in danger of death, but, fortunately, now there is a new moon, and at this time that grass is blooming. Are there any old chestnuts somewhere near the palace?

- Yes! Yes! - the dwarf shouted joyfully. — There are several chestnuts growing in the garden, very close to here. But why do you need them?

“This grass,” answered Mimi, “grows only under old chestnut trees.” Let's not waste time and let's go look for her now. Take me in your arms and carry me out of the palace.

The dwarf took Mimi in his arms, walked with her to the palace gates and wanted to go out. But the gatekeeper blocked his way.

“No, my dear Nose,” he said, “I have strict orders not to let you out of the palace.”

“Can’t I even take a walk in the garden?” - asked the dwarf. “Please, send someone to the caretaker and ask if I can walk around the garden and collect grass.”

The gatekeeper sent to ask the caretaker, and the caretaker allowed it: the garden was surrounded by a high wall, and it was impossible to escape from it.

Going out into the garden, the dwarf carefully put Mimi on the ground, and she, hobbling, ran to the chestnut trees that grew on the shore of the lake. Jacob, saddened, followed her.

“If Mimi doesn’t find that grass,” he thought, “I’ll drown in the lake. It’s still better than letting your head be cut off.”

Meanwhile, Mimi visited every chestnut tree, turned over every blade of grass with her beak, but in vain - the “sneeze to health” grass was nowhere to be seen. The goose even cried out of grief. Evening was approaching, it was getting dark, and it was becoming increasingly difficult to distinguish the stems of the grass. By chance the dwarf looked at the other side of the lake and shouted joyfully:

- Look, Mimi, see - there’s another big old chestnut on the other side! Let's go there and look, maybe my happiness is growing under it.

The goose flapped her wings heavily and flew away, and the dwarf ran after her at full speed on his little legs. Crossing the bridge, he approached the chestnut tree. The chestnut was thick and spreading, almost nothing was visible under it in the semi-darkness. And suddenly Mimi flapped her wings and even jumped for joy. She quickly stuck her beak in the grass, picked a flower and said, carefully handing it to Jacob:

- Here is the herb “sneeze for health.” There's a lot of it growing here, so you'll have enough for a long time.

The dwarf took the flower in his hand and looked at it thoughtfully. It had a strong, pleasant smell, and for some reason Jacob remembered how he stood in the old woman’s pantry, picking up herbs to stuff the chicken with, and found the same flower - with a greenish stem and a bright red head, decorated with a yellow border.

And suddenly Jacob trembled all over with excitement.

“You know, Mimi,” he shouted, “this seems to be the same flower that turned me from a squirrel into a dwarf!” I'll try to smell it.

“Wait a little,” said Mimi. “Take a bunch of this grass with you, and we’ll go back to your room.” Collect your money and everything you earned while serving with the Duke, and then we will try the power of this wonderful herb.

Jacob obeyed Mimi, although his heart was beating loudly with impatience. He ran to his room. Having tied a hundred ducats and several pairs of clothes into a bundle, he stuck his long nose into the flowers and smelled them. And suddenly his joints began to crack, his neck stretched, his head immediately rose from his shoulders, his nose began to become smaller and smaller, and his legs became longer and longer, his back and chest straightened out, and he became the same as all people. Mimi looked at Jacob with great surprise.

- How beautiful you are! - she screamed. - Now you don’t look like an ugly dwarf at all!

Jacob was very happy. He wanted to immediately run to his parents and show himself to them, but he remembered his savior.

“If it weren’t for you, dear Mimi, I would have remained a dwarf for the rest of my life and, perhaps, would have died under the executioner’s ax,” he said, gently stroking the goose’s back and wings. - I have to thank you. I will take you to your father and he will break your spell. He's smarter than all the wizards.

Mimi burst into tears of joy, and Jacob took her in his arms and pressed her to his chest. He quietly left the palace - not a single person recognized him - and went with Mimi to the sea, to the island of Gotland, where her father, the wizard Wetterbock, lived.

They traveled for a long time and finally reached this island. Wetterbock immediately broke the spell on Mimi and gave Jacob a lot of money and gifts. Jacob immediately returned to his hometown. His father and mother greeted him with joy - he had become so handsome and brought so much money!

We also need to tell you about the Duke.

The next morning, the Duke decided to fulfill his threat and cut off the dwarf's head if he did not find the herb that the prince spoke about. But Jacob could not be found anywhere.

Then the prince said that the duke had hidden the dwarf on purpose so as not to lose his best cook, and called him a deceiver. The Duke became terribly angry and declared war on the Prince. After many battles and fights, they finally made peace, and the prince, to celebrate the peace, ordered his cook to bake a real “queen pie.” This world between them was called “Cake World.”

That's the whole story about Dwarf Nose.

One shoemaker became so poor that he had nothing left except a piece of leather for just one pair of boots. Well, he cut these boots in the evening and decided to start sewing the next morning. And since his conscience was clear, he calmly went to bed and fell into a sweet sleep.

In the morning, when the shoemaker wanted to get to work, he saw that both boots were standing completely ready on his table.

The shoemaker was very surprised and did not know what to think about it. He began to carefully examine the boots. They were so cleanly made that the shoemaker did not find a single uneven stitch. It was a real miracle of shoemaking!

Soon the buyer appeared. He really liked the boots and paid more for them than usual. Now a shoemaker could buy leather for two pairs of boots.

He cut them in the evening and wanted to get to work the next morning with fresh strength.

But he didn’t have to do this: when he got up, the boots were already ready. The buyers again were not long in coming and gave him so much money that he bought enough leather for four pairs of boots.

In the morning he found these four pairs ready.

That’s how it has been since then: whatever he sews in the evening is ready by morning. And soon the shoemaker became a wealthy man again.

One evening, shortly before the New Year, when the shoemaker had cut his boot again, he said to his wife:

What if we don’t go to bed that night and see who is helping us so well?

The wife was delighted. She dimmed the light, they both hid in the corner behind a dress hanging there and began to wait to see what would happen.

Midnight came, and suddenly two small naked men appeared. They sat down at the shoemaker's table, took the tailored boots and began to stab, sew, and pin so deftly and quickly with their small hands that the surprised shoemaker could not take his eyes off them. The little men worked tirelessly until they had sewn all the boots. Then they jumped up and ran away.

The next morning the shoemaker's wife said:

These little people have made us rich and we should thank them. They don't have any clothes, and they're probably cold. You know? I want to sew them shirts, caftans, pants and knit a pair of stockings for each of them. Make them a pair of shoes too.

“With pleasure,” the husband replied.

In the evening, when everything was ready, they put their gifts on the table instead of tailored boots. And they themselves hid to see what the little men would do.

At midnight the little men appeared and wanted to get to work. But instead of leather for boots, they saw gifts prepared for them. The little people were surprised at first, and then very happy.

They immediately got dressed, straightened out their beautiful caftans and sang:

What beauties we are!

Love to take a look.

Nice job -

You can rest.

Then they began to jump, dance, jump over chairs and benches. And finally, dancing, they ran out the door.

Since then they have not appeared again. But the shoemaker lived well until his death.

In one great place of Nimechchina, a Swedish man is alive, long ago. I got myself a wife, and lived with her as it happened - sometimes it was good, sometimes it was harsh. Vranza Sweden goes to his master - a small hut on Rose Street - and all day long he patches up old chores and booties, and once he has done it, he picks up new ones. But then I had to go here to bathe the skin, because in this case there were no reserves of wine. The woman traded in all kinds of towns and gardens, as she herself grew in a small garden. People loved to bathe in it, because it was clean and chepurny, so she was able to show off her goods so loudly that anyone would be tempted to take it.
And they had a glorious lad: with a handsome appearance, and a slim figure, and at his twelve years small. Once again, he accompanied the mother to the market and sat down with her, and if someone took a lot of vegetables from the buyers at once, the boy wanted to help him bring the purchases home. And it rarely trailed, so that he turned back with empty hands.
One day the Shevtsev woman was sitting at the market, and in front of her there were cats and baskets of cabbage, carrots and all sorts of other things. Maliy Jacob—that was the boy’s name—was sitting there, beside his mother, calling out to the customers in a loud voice.
Already at the bazaar there is an old woman in shabby clothes, with small guest faces, with deep wrinkles. The woman’s eyes are bloodshot, filled with tears, and her nose is so hardened that it hangs on her chin. The old woman is squealing, leaning on the fire: so it seems that the axle-axle will sharpen and just crash into the ground with its guest nose.
Shevtsev’s wife marveled at the woman. The Axis has been trading at the bazaar for sixteen years now, and the old witches haven’t been here for a long time. The woman was already cold when the woman walked up and her back fell.
- Is it Hanna who sells the town? – the old woman said in a bristling, heathery voice.
“Yes, that’s me,” the woman said. - Why won’t you take it, maybe, what?
- I want to look at that axle, I want to dig in! I’ll marvel at the little one, at the botvinnyachka: what do you have that I need? - the old woman said, sneering at the cat and the brutes rushing in, their ganchers, their gentle hands. She went through the whole city, which was laid out so neatly, and pulled out long, spindle-like bunches of this and that, sniffing the skin with her iron nose.
Hanna just sat there, wondering how the old witch around her city was getting hurt, but she didn’t dare to say anything, because every buyer has the right to look at the goods, and she had such a wonderful fear before this woman.
And this time the old woman, having rummaged through the whole cat from bottom to top, muttered to herself: “Damn it, there’s nothing that I need... Fifty years ago it was richer than that... The treasury, what a Burian!”
Little Jacob got sick of this burmotinnya.
“Listen,” he said unpleasantly, “there’s a lot of rubbish in you, woman: from the very beginning you climbed into the cat with your liquid black fingers, turned everything there with your feet, then dirty the whole town with your long nose, so that now no one who happened to be , I didn’t want to buy it, but now I’m selling our product. Do you know that the Duke’s cook himself is taking over the town from us?
The old woman glanced at the boy, laughed unkindly and said sarcastically:
- He’s a yak, my dear! Are you not interested in being like my nose, my dear old nose? Well, then, there will be something in you that will stretch from the middle of your face all the way to your hips.
Having said this, she turned again to the basket, where the cabbage lay, picked out the brightest white head, took it in her hands and squeezed it so hard that it began to sour, and then disrespectfully threw it back at the basket, saying again: “Treasury, useless.” cabbage!"
- Don’t throw your head on all sides like that! – the boy shouted loudly. “Your neck, my cabbage root, the axle breaks, and your head falls into the basket.” Who else is in us?
– You don’t suit thin necks? – the old woman muttered again, laughing softly. “Garazd, you won’t have anything at all, but your head will just rest on your shoulders and your little body won’t burst!”
– Don’t make the boys look like fools! - Hanna couldn’t stand it, as she had already become so tired of the city’s long rummaging, looking at, and sniffing. - If you want to buy something, then take it faster, because no one else can get to me after you.
“Well, you tell the truth,” said the old woman, glaring at her angrily. “Garazd, I’ll take six or six heads from you.” If you think that I’m trying to hide on the fire and can’t bear to carry anything, then tell your lads to bring the cabbage home, and I’ll pay for it anyway.
Apparently they didn’t want to go, because I was scared of this viscous woman. However, the mother told him to listen, because she was guilty of sin, so that the old German grandmother would carry this tractor herself. Without crying a little, the boy obeyed his mother, fed the cats cabbage and took care of the old one.
For a whole year, the old woman was dancing to the edge of the place. Nareshti stood in front of a small, completely dilapidated hut, pulled out a teeming old rusty key, planted a small scald in the door, and the stench itself disappeared with a loud rip. How surprised Jacob was when he found himself in the middle of this shack! It was beautifully decorated: the ceilings and walls were made of marble, the furniture was ebony with sculpted gold and burlap stones, the lining was made of pure tile and was so slimy that the boy would jump up and fall in repeatedly. The old woman blew a whistle from the village and seemed to whistle especially in the new one - the moon was shaking all over the alarm. Two guinea pigs immediately came running to her. It was almost astonishing to see them on their hind legs, on pea-colored scarlets instead of booties, on human clothes and on the bows of the droplets, splintered in the latest fashion.
“Did you share my booties, they’re so icy?” - the old one boomed and swung her fire pit at them. - How long have I been standing here?
The pigs rushed down the hill and turned around with two coconut scallops, padded in the middle with soft skin. The stench of the Swede and the neatly put the old one into those boots, and her skinny hand took hold of us. She slammed the fire and very quickly began to scurry around the curse of the creeper, not letting go of the lad’s hands and pulling him along with her. Once upon a time, the old woman sat down in a room filled with carved dishes, which she threw into the kitchen, wanting cordwood tables and sofas, sent with expensive kilims, more likely to be discussed here in the salon and in the living room.
“Sit,” the old woman said pleasantly, pushing the boy into the fold of the sofa and blocking the table in front so that he wouldn’t leave. - Sit down and stop! It’s good that I carry you today, because human heads are not so light anymore, oh not light!..
“Hey, grandma, you seem so wonderful,” Jacob called out. “If I really wanted to, I would have carried the cabbage you bought for my mother.”
“Oh no, you have mercy,” laughed the old woman, opening the basket and pulling the hair of the man’s head.
The boys and girls have become too milky. He couldn’t get over how it happened, and immediately thought about his mother: “If anyone ever hears about these human heads, then, of course, call my mother.”
“And now I’ll give you this for those who have become a well-heard child,” the old woman mumbled. - Be patient for three minutes, I’ll cook you such little fish that you’ll remember them until the day you die!
Vaughn whistled again. Right away, a lot of guinea pigs arrived, dressed in human clothes, in cooks' aprons, with belts around their belts and with large knives. Behind them, a whole bunch of whites were stripped from Turkish trousers, with oxamite caps on their heads. These, perhaps, were cooks, because they tossed around furiously all hour, throwing frying pans and saucepans at the walls, throwing eggs into the pan for butter, then into the pan for seasonings and boron, and all those burdens to the stove. There, the old woman had sex with them at the same time, scurrying back and forth in her coconut booties, and the boy said that he really wanted to cook some tasty fish for him. There was a gurgling sound on the stove, filling the whole room with a smell of smell, and the woman kept looking into the potter, pointing her long nose there.
When the yushka is ready. Then the old lady quickly took the pot from the fire, dropped the yushka into a fire plate and placed it in front of Jacob.
- Axis, little darling, here you go! - she said to the youmu. - If you look at my little ears, then you will add everything that you deserve in me. And even if you work as such a master cook, whatever you want, because we still need to do it. You’ll never find one like this from a little bunny, even if it wasn’t in your mother’s cat...
As if I didn’t understand what the old man was talking about, I really deserved the ale yushka - my mother had never cooked it so tasty. There was a pleasant smell of herbs and corincins in the mouth, and there was water and licorice in the relish, and at the same time sour, and even richer.
While the boy was finishing his tasty fish, the guinea pigs fed the chickens so much that a cloud of thick bluish smoke poured all over the room. The stench thickened, descended all the way and burned Jacob so much that he was completely deceived. I completely forgot about those that I needed to turn to my mother, and suddenly fell asleep on the sofa in the old woman’s bed.
Marvelous speeches came to Jacob in his dreams. It seemed to him that the old woman took all his clothes and wore him in a white coat. You can climb trees like a squirrel, then get to know all the other squirrels and guinea pigs - what a glorious and wonderful people they are! - and at the same time the old one served them. First, you only cleaned the booties, then those coconut scallops that the old woman wore on her feet, and then rubbed them with oil and rubbed them until they were close. As if he had quickly called upon himself to do this, he worked at home more than once cleaning his father’s well-kept booties. The fate did not pass, - so he dreamed, - as the old woman gave him another task: at the same time, with other whites, he caught the powders that were playing in the dormouse, then, having collected enough, sifted them through a very thin th thicker sieve: old already Not a few teeth at all and they baked niches from the bottom dormouse powder.
Even across the river, having already served the old woman as a water-carrier, because she did not drink the original water, the squirrels, and with them Jacob, struggled to collect dew from the Trojans in pea shells. The old woman drank a lot, and the water-carrier had a small bug to keep her alive. As soon as the river passed, Jacob was put on watch for the forgeries. The beds in the house were filled with glass and they had to be rubbed with brushes and cloths every day. And only on the fourth day were they allowed into the kitchen. This was already an honorable service, which was only given after years of testing. Here Jacob has gone through the science of a cook all the way to the first master of pate, and such a master of the world, that he took in wine and prospects, and cooked any kind of grass, even marveling at himself.
So this whole year of service with the old one passed. And from one day she told you to wash the curch, stuff it with all sorts of herbs and roots and lubricate it well, and she took out her coconut laces, took the kostur in her hands and went where to go. As if he had done everything he could to do: twisting his curly head, scalding him with sprinkling, scraping his feathers and releasing his vests. Then you start collecting herbs and roots for the filling. Having arrived at the komori, he realized that there was a stew in the little box, which he had never noticed before. The door of the cabinet was badly damaged, and I had to wonder what was there. Having looked in the middle and having collected a lot of cats, for what kind of fragrant spirit. It was as if one cat had discovered a strange piece of grass there: the stem and leaf were pale green, and the animal saw a small, clear-yellow flower. You sniffed the little flower and recognized the smell that was pricked around that little ear that your old woman used to frequent. And there was such a great spirit that Jacob, having started to drink - once, again, more and more - and finally, chugging, threw himself away.
He was lying on the old sofa and looking around in amazement. “I’d like to see myself like that!” – having washed the wine to itself. “I am willing to swear that I have been a worthless squirrel since this day, having been friends with guinea pigs and other animals, and having fallen in love with a good cook.” Well, my matusya will laugh if I tell her about everything! Why won’t you make a face if I fell asleep in someone else’s house instead of helping her at the market?”
With this thought in mind, Jacob got up to go home. My whole body suffered during sleep, especially the bruises, and I couldn’t turn my head until the end. Vin laughed at himself for being so deluded: he was already sniffing behind the wardrobe, then behind the wall and door. Squirrels and guinea pigs, skittles, were spinning under Jacob’s feet, otherwise they wanted to sing with him at the same time. Already from the threshold, having hooted them after them, for they were glorious little animals, the stench quickly turned back to the room, hobbling on their pea-colored scarves, and it was only a little while before the stench was hard to get rid of.
The part of the place where the old man took him was far from the market, and he allegedly had to walk through narrow deserted streets for a long time. That’s just how we lived on Gominka’s central streets, as we caught a large crowd of passers-by. Singingly, here they showed a dwarf nearby, because there was a faint sound: “Hey, marvel, good people, what a watery dwarf he is! Are the stars in? What a pre-iron nose he has, and his head has simply grown beyond his shoulders! And your hands are like black guides, like firebrands!” Another time, Jacob himself ran away to marvel at the dwarf, but he needed to hurry to his mother.
When they arrived at the market, mother was still sitting there and there was still a hint of the city in her cats. “Oh my, I haven’t slept that long,” Jacob thought. However, from afar I realized that my mother was feeling even more confused. She no longer called out to the shoppers who were passing by, but sat there, sniffing her head, and looked incredibly pale, as it seemed to her when they came closer. As if standing on the sidelines, not knowing what to do. Having said goodbye, he quietly walked up behind his mother and placed his hand on her shoulder, rinsing:
- Matusya, what’s wrong with you? Are you angry with me?
The woman turned around and immediately lost her breath, shouting in a voice that was not her own:
“What do you want from me, you little dwarf?” Go get out and see me! I don't like bad twists!
- What is it like, mom? - Jakob mumbled. - What has happened to you, why are you throwing away your son?
“I already told you,” said Hanna, burning with anger, “go and get going!” You won’t earn anything from me for your stupid guesses, you filthy little bastard!
“Maybe God took her mind away! - the lad thought with horror. “Why should I bother to bring her home?”
- Matusya, Lyuba! Marvel at my goodness: don’t you recognize your son, your Jacob?
- Well, that’s too much! – Hanna hummed and turned to sit. - Just marvel at this filthy dwarf: standing above the soul, insuring all the buyers, and it still feels impudent to take away from my misfortune. I am your son, it seems, Jacob... From shameless indulgence!
Then Gannina’s neighbors jumped up and began to bark, as if they were barking, and so on, and so on. How dare anyone, so-and-so, mock a poor woman! All we know is that already this year a rich, well-painted boy was stolen from her. And if you, the liquid dwarf, can’t get rid of it right away, then the stench en masse will so swell your sides that your brushes will crack.
Pea Jacob didn’t understand anything. Even today’s lies of wine, as a result, came with their mother to the market, adding to the disintegration of the city, then walking from the old woman to her house, there they drank a third of their food, and after taking a three-hour nap, that’s all I'll call you here. Why should mothers and all the shopping talk about this year? And I still want to call him a wet dwarf! What happened to him?
Having realized that my mother didn’t even want to know him, I supposedly, without crying a little and, to the edge of embarrassment, I wrote to my father’s master. “I’ll be amazed at what Vin said,” the boy thought. “Doesn’t he know me?”
Arriving before the halabudi shevtsa, standing at the door and looking in the middle. The master kicked the robot so hard that he didn’t notice the boy. If you inadvertently glance at the door, then let everything in: booties, dredging, awl -
- Holy, holy! What is that?..
“Good afternoon, Mister Maistre,” the lad greeted the new lad and joined the Maister. - How are you doing?
- Rubbish, completely trashy, Mr. Dwarf! - she confirmed, and supposedly she was very surprised that her father didn’t recognize him at all. - I pay alone, and I’m not young anymore. I need an assistant, I don’t have a penny.
- And why don’t you have a little son who could help you a lot? - the lad had been drinking.
- If you were a prick... They called him Jacob... Now if you were already a couple of rocks under twenty, my rightful assistant, then there would be a life!..
-Where are you now, your son? – Jacob said in a tremulous voice.
“God knows who is holy,” said the Swede. - It’s already been seven years since... and so, seven years have passed since it was stolen from us in the bazaars.
- Today's fate! – Yakob shouted out of fear.
- Yes, yes, Mr. Dwarf, that’s already fate. Otherwise, I’ll immediately remember how my squad turned around from the market - crying, crying, because the lad hasn’t turned around all day. She's already looked everywhere, looking for him, and hasn't found him anywhere. I have said and thought more than once before that this would happen. As if he had been a very ugly boy - let's just say - the squad wrote and was happy when people praised him, and often sent him from the city to the gentlemen's home. True, it was not filthy, because it was generously given to him in the beginning. And I have said more than once: beware, woman, this place is great, there are so many dashing people you want to live here! Punch me, I say, lad! That’s how it turned out... It’s like a streetwise woman comes to the market, goes through the whole town and garden and finally buys more chairs than she herself can bear. My squad, a kind soul, sends the lads with her and... that’s all we knew.
– And you say that this fate has already passed?
- This year will be spring. How many times we joked about him, walked around the place, educated everyone - people knew him and loved him and also helped him in the joke - but everything is fine. And that old woman who bought cabbage without knowing anyone. Only one very old grandmother - already, perhaps, ninety years old - said that, singly, it was the dashing fairy of Knowsill, who would come to the place to buy something for herself once every fifty years.
The old Swede then woke up, lightly tapping the boot with a hammer. I seem to have gradually realized that it was not in a dream, but in reality, having served as a squirrel for the dashing fairy all this year. His heart clenched due to anger and grief. The old witch stole these childhood years into her new one, and what did she give in return? Just because we learned from guinea pigs and cooks. So, after standing for a long time, thinking about our misfortune, even after our father had slept with him:
“Perhaps, my dear fellow, you deserved something from my work?” Maybe you’d like to get a couple of new booties or... - the Swede chuckled - or maybe a case for your nose?
- What do you care about my nose? – Jacob said. - And why should I put it on the new case?
“Well,” the Swede said, “who deserves it... If only I had such a terrible presence in me, then I would have made a case for myself from an erysipelas. Marvel, the axle I have is just the right piece of good sapian. True, such a case requires no less than a whole elbow. Now, I'm panicking, I wish you could save your nose! Even if you, perhaps, blame him for all the doors, for the leather carriage, if you want to give it its way.
The lad is left behind. Having rubbed your nose, you are now ready and in two valleys of widowhood! Oh dear, the old woman has changed her appearance! Thanks to them, my mother didn’t recognize him, thanks to her, they teased him everywhere like a wet dwarf!..
“Maistre,” thanking you, not crying a little, “why don’t you have a mirror for an hour so that I can look at myself?”
“Hey, I’m afraid,” my dad told him, “you’re not so ugly that you should show mercy on yourself and, like on me, there’s absolutely no reason for you to marvel in the mirror right now.” Throw such a sound, because people will laugh and laugh.
- Oh, let me look in the mirror! - Thank you Jacob. - It’s not at all necessary for me to show mercy.
- Give me peace, there are no mirrors in me. When the woman made a move here, she didn’t know where she stole it. If you’re already so keen on marveling at the mirror, then across the street is Urban, the barber, who has a mirror that costs twice as much for your head. Go there and marvel, and in the meantime be healthy!
Having said this, the Swede quickly grabbed the boy out the door and

I thank you again for work. And Jacob, with great enthusiasm, walked across the street to the barber Urban, whom he had previously known well.
“Good afternoon to you, Mr. Urban,” he greeted. “Wouldn’t you have allowed me to look at the little hair in your mirror?”
- I allow it with great pleasure, panic! “He’s standing there,” the barber said, laughing slyly, and all his clients who came to get their beards trimmed cheerfully laughed. But Urban didn’t bark. - And you, nіvroku, brave canvas: stringy and chepurnaya, swan necked, pens, language from the queen, and even for the sock garniy, then I think you won’t get too much of a handsome one anywhere! You wonder a little bit about it, I panic, it’s true, but I can’t help but wonder at my health, as much as you want, so that people don’t say that I wouldn’t let you go to the mirror in the long run.
So the barber stood there, and all around there was a booming roar. At one point Jacob walked to the mirror and marveled at himself, so that tears became foggy in his eyes. “Matinko is my dear! It’s not surprising that you didn’t recognize your Jacob, having washed the wine to yourself. “Those happy days weren’t like that when you boasted about him to people!” His eyes were small, like a pig’s, his nose was healthy, hanging just below his chin, and he had no neck at all - his head sat deep in his shoulders and hurt terribly if he tried to turn it sideways. As he grew older, he lost so much of himself, as was fateful, but his weight grew wider: his chest and back were so protruding that the entire coat was dropped into a small, well-smelling bag. This neo-woven sheepskin coat was washed on small thin scabbards, which were then worn on the inside. Then the arms grew large, like those of a grown man, and hung down from the sides of the body. The skin on his hands turned black and frayed, and the tufts were scrawny and long, like spindles, and if the lad stood up and stretched out his hands down, then, without hesitation, they reached up to the lining. This is what the heartfelt Jacob became like: dashing spells were cast from this liquid and invincible dwarf.
And immediately they remembered that morning, when an old woman came up to them with their mother at the market. Everything that she had already tasted: a long nose, flexible tufts - she gave all of them to her, and only then replaced the date of the long three-year-old ties with her.
- Well, dear prince, are you already surprised at yourself? - the barber said, walking up to Jacob, and adding, smiling: - As if anyone ever wanted to do something like this, it’s unlikely that he would indulge in such a ridiculous trick. Do you know what I thought, dear to the panic? Before me, there were very few people going to the barbershop, but the rest of the time it was still not as much as I would have liked. And all through my susida, the barber Shaum, having hired himself a veletny, and he has clients. Well, that little velvet is no longer a miracle, but from such a person as you, a little guy is hanging out - oh, then it’s completely different! Go to my service before me, panic, I will give you everything clean - food, drink, a house, clothes - and for that you will stand near my doors and call to the public and also set up nice and friendly servers for clients. I sing to you, we won’t waste our resentment on this: I will have more clients than my judge, and you will be more than willing to give me tea.
In my heart, I was as if overwhelmed by the words of the owner, who wanted to make something out of it for his barbershop, and would like to forge a mop for the image. The dwarf calmly trusted the barber that it was time for such a service, and got on his way.
Although the dashing fairy preserved his body, she did not harm his soul - she felt good about him. True, I thought and felt that now it was not so, as fate would have it: during this hour, I became richly wiser. Without fighting for his ruined family, without being embarrassed by his vile post, only one thing tormented him: he, our dog, was driven out of his father’s house. So he decided to try talking to his mother one more time.
As if I went back to the market and began to bless my mother, so that she could hear him calmly. He remembered the day when an old woman came to the market before them, telling him about everything that had happened to him as a little boy. Then he told how he spent this year serving as a squirrel for a dashing fairy and how she killed him as a wet dwarf for those who cheated her. Hanna didn’t know what to do, believe me or not. Everything that she heard about the children of the summer was the broad truth, but, having sensed the story about those who were a squirrel this year, the woman said incredulously: “This cannot happen, and there are no fairies in the world.” " And if she marveled at the dwarf again, then she found him even more incredible - she could have believed that she was syn! They decided that Hanna decided that she would be most happy about everything with the man, and, having collected her cats, she followed Jacob to the main store, where the Swedes patched up their booties.
“Listen,” said the man there, “hey, the dwarf says he’s our son.” They all told me how fatefully I was stolen from the market and how I was enchanted by a dashing fairy...
- What?! – the Swedish huffed angrily. - What did you say? Cut your hair, you wretch! Well, I told you everything, but I was trying to fool you with this! So are you enchanted, my little sister? Wait, my dear, I’ll disappoint you right now!..
And, having gathered together, they squeezed the belt that they had cut before, and the father rushed at the poor Jacob and so smacked him on the hunchback of his back with both hands, so that he screamed in pain and started to run crying.
The unfortunate dwarf stretched out the whole day, without eating or drinking, and at night he sat down at church meetings, just on a hard and cold stone.
On Svitanka, when the sun woke Jacob up with its first change, I sat down and wondered how I was allowed to live. Father and mother had a fight in front of him. I don’t want to go to the barber. Show yourself for pennies? No, why should I be so proud... So what should I take up? And then Jacob guessed that, having been a squirrel, he learned to cook well. Having respected - and not having mercy - in this matter you can help with any master, and choose the victorious status for your own time.
And you need to know that the Duke of this land is known as a weakling and a weasel. We love good food and admire cooks from all over the world. To the palace and pishov Jacob. When his brothers got hold of him, the Vartovs began to take a cap from him, but Jacob said that he needed to take care of the chief chief cook, and the Vartovs let him into the door. Vіshov went to the palace, and all the servants rushed to work, stared at him, and were already in revolt. Then all the brothers followed him, so that soon the majestic tail of the ducal servants stretched across the entire door and until such time as such a element stood, there was a gate behind the gate. From all sides there was just a faint blur: “Dwarf, dwarf!” Did you bachili the dwarf?
Sensing the galas, an angry spy on the ducal palace appeared at the door.
- Beat you with the power of God! - he shouted, threatening the servants with a majestic whip. - What, you little dog, did they make a garmider here? Do you know that Mr. Duke is still sleeping?
He waved his whip and not so delicately overtook some of his underlings with it.
“Oh, sir,” they shouted, “look, the dwarf who came before us, such a copper-headed dwarf, the likes of which have never been seen before!”
Looking at Jacob, the spy forcibly restrained himself, so as not to shout at the top of his lungs and not to steal his authority in the eyes of all his servants. Having scourged the attackers with a whip, he brought the dwarf into the palace and slept, so he came. When he sensed that Jacob wanted to gain access to the chief cook, he interrupted the lad:
- You, perhaps, have mercy, little son, you need me, the chief chamberlain, who watches over the entire ducal palace. Aje, you want to become a dwarf under the Duke, right?
“No, sir,” Jacob said, “I’m a cook and I’m good at stewing in all sorts of delicious herbs.” To earn some kindness, allow me to hire the chief cook, maybe he will need me.
“Everyone has his own will, little man!” But still, you are a reckless lad, if you want to go to the kitchen. But in life-dwarfs you won’t work for anything, you’ll be on your own, just wanting to eat and drink and put on your clothes. And prote bachimo. It’s unlikely that you would be such a master, as if you were a duke’s cook, but for a cook you need a garniy.
I, taking Jacob by the hand, the lookout showed him in the chief cook’s chambers.
“Tender gentleman,” the dwarf said, bowing so low that his nose was almost touching the keel on the underside, “why don’t you need a busy cook?”
The chief cook looked Jacob from head to toe, then began to shout so loudly that the walls began to shake.
- So you are the cook? Do you really wonder why our stoves are so low? But you won’t be able to reach them as long as you stiffen your back and pull your head from your shoulders. Eh, boy, boy! The one who sent you here to hire himself as a cook, simply lusting after you! - The chief cook began to cheerfully register again, and at the same time both the watcher of the palace and all the servants who were at rest began to rejoice with him.
But Jacob didn’t get angry.
“Don’t harm the wasp, deprive it of one or two eggs, a bit of syrup and wine, a few beard seeds and seasonings,” he said, “and allow me to prepare it for you as you want.” Give everything that is required, and before your eyes everything will be crushed, and you will then say: “So, this is a good cook!”
As if it had glistened with its little wings, its long nose fell from side to side, and its long trussed tufts spontaneously collapsed, unhelpfully speaking to you.
- Garazd! - After a while, the cook will arrive. – Let’s try it for fun. We walk to the kitchen.
Having passed through numerous halls and corridors, the stench reached the kitchen. It was a grand space, bright and spacious. Twenty stoves burn with fire day and night. In the middle there was a pool of clean running water where live fish were kept. Behind the walls stood great shefs with stocks of all sorts of things that the cook’s mother required. And on the offensive sides of the kitchen there were ten Comoros, smelling of the most delicious lasso. The cooks, small and large, scurried about like flies in a sprinkling of sprinklings, rattling and clanking cauldrons, frying pans, knives and dippers. When Mr. Chief Cook left, everything became silent, and it was almost as if firebrands were cracking and water was squelching in the pool.
- What should you prepare for food, Mr. Duke? – having fed the first-time cook.
- Master Duke allows you to eat Danish soup with red hamburger dumplings.
“Garazd,” the cook said and turned to Jacob: “Do you know what Pan Duke will eat?” Are you crazy about cooking this herb? I bet you will never make dumplings: that’s the only recipe we know.
“There’s nothing easy,” the dwarf assured us that he was relieved, since he often boiled such a fish if it was white. - Please give me some of these flavorings for the soup, these leaves, wild boar lard, cinnamon and eggs. And for the dumplings, - having washed the wine quietly, so that only the cook and the food cook can sense it, - for the dumplings you need several types of meat, a little wine, some fat, ginger and that kind of herb, which is called shlunkovtikha.
- Saint Benedict! How marvelous do you know everything? – the snidankovy cook made a loud noise. – Having said everything purely like this, but we ourselves don’t know anything about the herb shlunkovtikha – with it, perhaps, the dumplings will be even tastier. Oh, what a wonder it is among the cooks!
“Well, I didn’t dare to do that,” the chief cook said in shock. “Father, give him everything he wants, dishes and everything else, and don’t let him prepare food today.”
But when everything was brought, it appeared that Jacob was touching the stove with his nose. I had a chance to bring two pillars and put a dwarf on them. The cooks, cooks, servants and all sorts of other people were huddled around the stove in a tight circle. They marveled and marveled, as if everything was going well for the little man. And then, having finished cooking, he ordered to put two pots on the heat and boil for a while, until you say. Then he allegedly began to shout: one, two, three and everything further and further, until he reached five hundred, and then he boomed: “Stop!” Immediately the miners were out of the heat, and the dwarf asked the cook to eat some grass.
One of the cooks gave him a golden opolonik, rinsed it in running water and handed it to the chief cook. Then they went to the stove, scooped up the crumbs of the fish with a pollonnik, chewed it, flattened their eyes, wet their tongue with satisfaction and then rinsed it off:
“It’s a miracle, God beat me, it’s a miracle!” Why don’t you eat or want a spoon, sir, guess what?
The watcher bowed to the palace, took the opolonic, swallowed it and was already to the brink of pleasure.
- You, shady sweet cook, simmering and warm cook. Hey, look, you won’t be able to cook Danish dumplings or Hamburger dumplings so miraculously!
The cook, having finished eating himself, then, with great reproach, pressed Jacob’s hand and washed:
- To the dwarf, you are a great master of our business. And the grass of the dumplings truly gives the dumplings a very special relish.
At this hour the Duke's valet came to the kitchen and said that the Duke had ordered some food to be served. The juices were boiled in a saucepan and the Duke's message. And Jacob, the chief cook, called him into his room and started a conversation with him. Suddenly a messenger came running and called the chief cook to the duke. He quickly put on his ceremonial clothes and followed the messenger.
The Duke was overjoyed. He took everything that was brought to him, and, if the chief cook was in, he himself combed his beard.
“Listen, cook,” he said, “I will always be pleased with your cooks, but tell me, which of them prepared the food today?” There has never been such a delicious experience in the entire hour that I have been sitting on my father’s throne. Tell me, what is the name of that cook, I want to give you a bunch of chervints.
- Mister Duke! This is an amazing story - the chief cook and the story of how the dwarf who came to this day, who shared the same soul, wanted to become a cook, and how everything happened after that.
The Duke was very surprised, and ordered that dwarf to come to him and began to educate him, who is of the first star. This time poor Jacob no longer dared to speak out, as if he had enchanted him or served as a squirrel. He said that neither father nor mother cares, but he learned to cook in the same old house. “
“If you want to remain in my service,” the Duke said to him, “then I will give you fifty ducats, formal clothes, and two pairs of trousers.” And your responsibility will be to prepare food every day and keep an eye on it so that there are no problems as a result. And through those who in my palace call the name, you will be called Nose, and your rank will be non-commissioned cook.
As if he had fallen down before the mighty Duke, kissed his cap and sworn to serve conscientiously. Now I’m in the corner and not scolding about tomorrow, but doing my job and getting a great chance. Everyone began to say that when the dwarf Nes, the Duke, arrived at the palace, he became a completely different person. In the past, it often happened that the Duke would squirt the dishes and dance just between the eyes of the cooks, and once, already inflamed with anger, he would throw a greased calf’s leg in front of the chief cook’s face, so that the poor guy would fall from his face and after that three days lying sick. True, then the Duke settled on the right that the chervints had been harvested in rotten fruit, covered with grains, and still the cook served him with herbs, and tremtiv, and stovpiv from the porridge. But after the dwarf appeared at the palace, everything changed. The Duke is now no longer three times a day, but five times, and not a single time was wasted so that he could save his lip once. I enjoyed everything with relish, becoming even more friendly with people and smoothing every day.
Often, sitting at the table, the Duke called for the head cook and the dwarf Nose, and when they came, he planted them both for himself - one right-handed, and the other left-handed - and he himself masterfully puffed lass clothes into their mouths.
This was not an abysmal affection, and the resentment was already appreciated.
So the dwarf Nes is alive, not two fates, with all the satisfactions, only sometimes he scolded his father-mother. Everything went without any obvious delays, until the weather was gone. The dwarfs were especially lucky when they had a bath. If he had the time, he loved to go to the market and sell poultry and gardening there.
And from the beginning, there is a line of geese looking for important and smooth geese, until the duke is especially handsome. We walked through the usual bazaar several times, seeing that there was nothing suitable. By the way, she no longer shouted regatta and gloom here, just inadvertently, everyone marveled at the new man with dignity, knowing that he was the famous life-cook of the Duke himself. And now the skin of the gentleman who sold geese was happy when he turned his long nose to her.
At the end of the row of geese, here at the little corner, As if he had helped one woman who had already brought geese to sell, there were little girls standing there, not hawking their goods, not grabbing for the buyers’ money, like other outbids. They supposedly went and looked at the geese and tested them for food. The stench was the same as in Khotiv, and he bought three ears at once with a cat, finding him on his shoulder and walking to the palace. On the way, Jacob was already amazed that two geese were shoveling and gelling as they should, and the third goose was sitting very quietly, otherwise in deep thought, and only from time to time he was breathing heavily - well, nothing at all people “Are you unwell? – having washed the wine to itself. “We need to hurry up so that we can collect and spend it as quickly as possible.” And then the guska spoke expressively and loudly to you:

Just try to get me some money -
I'll give it to you now.
And how do you want me?
To muzzle you -
Then I’ll raise you, boy,
No more trampling!

The dwarf Nes let the little cat in and let the little cat in, and the goose marveled at him with her wondrous intelligent eyes and sighed again.
- Ovva! - Nes hummed. “Then come out, what are you talking about, panno thickly!” Without any doubt. Why is it so scary to say? Whoever is able to live in the world cannot encounter such a rare bird. I bet you haven’t had a feast on you before, because I myself have been stabbed by a worthless squirrel.
“It’s true,” said the goose, “I wasn’t born into this world in this shitty skin.” Oh, who would have thought that Mimi, the daughter of the great Weatherbok, would be killed and robbed in the kitchen of some duke!
“Calm down, my dear Mimi,” the dwarf Nes called out. “As an honest person and non-commissioned cook of your Lordship, I guarantee you that no one will cut your throat.” I will give you a kubelets in my noble room for as long as you want, and I will devote my free hours to prayer with you. And in the kitchen I’ll tell you that I’ll treat you with special herbs for the Duke himself. And if there is good luck, I will set you free.
Guska drank dwarf tears in her eyes, and she did everything, as if she promised: she killed two geese, and for Mima she made a large cage and said that she would prepare them for the Duke himself in some special way. They really don’t care about the kind of food that geese feed on, and they carry baked goods and a variety of malts. If someone's hair fell out, he would sit down the ears and try to smear the bag with rosemary. They told one of them about their benefits and incredible things, and the dwarf Nes realized that Guska Mimi is the daughter of the sorcerer Windbok, who lives on the island of Gotland. As soon as you got into a fight with one old fairy, she then turned his daughter into a guska.
When the dwarf Nes told the Geese about his story, she said:
- In such cases, I’m a little tired, and even my father is a charmer. True, having learned less than what could be recounted, but your pink white cat with a city, you are reluctant to transform from a squirrel into a human after having felt the spirit of that zill, the tension in the words of the old one - all the same to testify about those , Why are you enchanted by the spell, then, if you find that little herb, the old woman thought about it, if she enchanted you, then you can be free.
It wasn't too much trouble for the dwarf Nose: where are they going to joke about that little grass? He thanked Mimi for his joy and had hope in his heart.
At that very hour, his friend, the court prince, arrived as a guest of the Duke. The Duke called the dwarf Nose to him and said to you:
- Well, now you have to show all your mastery. This prince, who is visiting me, sings a good song and has the glory of being the greatest lasun, after me, absolutely. Then take a look and beg, so that my table today marvels at his miraculous misfortunes. And remember those that you don’t laugh while you’re here, prepare the next two days, otherwise I’ll spare you my affection. For everything you need, you bring as many pennies from your treasure trove as you imagine. If for good fun you need to put gold and diamonds in lard - put it in! Better yet, I will become an old man, worth less than rubbish before the prince.
So said the Duke. Dwarf Nes bowed low and said:
- As you, your highness, command, so it will be! God judges that I will save everything in order for the prince to survive.
Dwarf Nes has overturned himself. They did not harm the duke's pennies or their powerful powers. The whole day was spent in the middle of the gloomy fire, and under the crypts of the kitchen, one’s voice was heard over and over again, as he commanded the young cooks and cooks.
The noble prince has already been a guest of the Duke for two years now and is completely satisfied. Five times a day they sat down for a hedgehog, and the Duke refused to stand up to his dwarf. And on the fifteenth day, the Duke called Jacob to the table and introduced him to his guests, asking how pleased he was with the non-commissioned cook.
“You are a wonderful cook,” the prince, furious at Jacob, “and tyamish, which means it’s good to eat.” In the entire hour that I’ve been here, I’ve never served two new herbs, and... everything was miraculously prepared. Just tell me, why don’t you still often treat us with the king of all kinds of herbs - the “suzerain” pate?
The dwarf got really angry because he didn’t even know about this royal pate.
However, without showing any sign of his will and calmly confirmed:
– Your Serene Highness, I am confident that you will be visiting this court for a long time to come, and there is no hurry. How can a cook truly celebrate the departure day of a distinguished guest, if not the king of pates?
- He's a yak! – the Duke said, laughing. - And while I’m here, you’re probably waiting for my death to commemorate it, huh? Even without serving me the pate until the table. However, come up with something different for today, and tomorrow for lunch you will definitely have this pate!
“Be it so, as your lordship wishes!” – Vіdpovi dwarf i Vyshov. Only the cook is not happy, because he doesn’t know how to prepare that pate. Locking himself in his room, he wept bitter tears over his misfortune. Guska Mimi wondered why she should scold, and when she sensed about the “suzerain” pate, she said:
- Don’t scold, drink your tears! My father often prepared this pate, and I know roughly what it is for: take as many glasses as possible, and if it doesn’t come out quite like that, then our gentlemen don’t have such a delicate relish for the stench to do any good.
Dwarf Nes was already bursting with joy, blessing that day when he bought the goose and started preparing the king of pates. Having first collected the bits for sampling, having enjoyed it, it turned out to be a good taste, and let the chief cook taste the new herb, who had also lost his satisfaction with it.
The next day, having prepared the pate from a great vessel, baked it from the oven and decorated it with flowers, and immediately served it warm to the table. And he himself put on his best clothes and began to sag as far as he could. When they arrived there, the butler himself cut the pate into slices and laid them into two. Serbny plates, serving one to the Duke, and the Friend to his guest. The Duke immediately took a good bowl of pate to his mouth, rolled it, flattened his eyes with salt and squealed:
- Ah, ah, ah! Well, it’s true that he’s the king of the pastes, but then my dwarf is the king of the cooks! Am I telling the truth, my dear friend? - he became furious at the guest.
He saw a small piece of pâté, patted it well and chuckled happily.
“The country is well-groomed,” - from the wine, from the wine plate, - just as I guessed, it’s not the right “suzerain.”
The Duke frowned at the anger and dissatisfaction and the worms from the rubbish.
- Worthless dog! - barked fiercely at the dwarf. - And you decided to earn money like this for your gentleman? Do you want me to punish you for your underwear and cut off your majestic head?
- Oh, your ladyship, have mercy for God’s sake! Even if I have harvested this herb in such a way as the rules of our science dictate, there cannot be any shortages! - said the dwarf Nes, frozen in fear.
- This is nonsense, damn it! - the duke kicked him off and kicked in front of him. – My guest does not throw waste into the wind. I’ll chop it up for you and bake pate for you!
- Look! - the dwarf screamed, falling on his feet in front of the prince and hugging his legs. – Tell me, what is missing from this passion, why does it not satisfy your relish? Don’t let me die for yak, I’ll have a handful of beard and meat.
“I can’t help you with anything, my dear Nose,” the Great Prince grinned. “I just knew yesterday that you don’t know how to make these herbs like my cook.” There is only one herb here, which is unknown in your region - the herb of relish, and without it the whole pate is deprived of taste, and your gentleman will never eat such a “suzerain” like me.
Then the Duke simply looked fierce.
- No, I still eat it! – he hummed uncontrollably, his eyes widening. “I swear on my ducal honor: tomorrow I will give you the pate you want, because the head of this unspoken word is erased on the copy in front of my finger.” Go, dog! Once again I give you twenty or so years.
And the poor dwarf began to cry again in his room, and the geese cried for their misfortune. Now I’m definitely going to die, because I can’t feel any relish about that little grass.
- What about you? - said the goose. - Well, then I’ll help you with that, because my father has learned to understand all sorts of herbs and herbs. Perhaps, at other times, he died, but now, fortunately, the youngster, and about this time the grass blooms. Just tell me now, why are there old chestnut trees near the palace?
“Yes, it’s enough to praise God,” said the dwarf Nes. – The park has a whole bunch of chestnuts. What about the stink?
“Grass, what do you need, the height of the old chestnut tree,” said Mimi. - Take your time, let’s go. Take me in your arms, and then let me go, and I’ll help you find out.
The dwarf had cut off everything, as the goose said, and, having taken it by the neck, walked to the exit from the palace. Ta Vartoviy, having treated him, stretched out his copy and blocked the road.
- It’s not possible, my friend Nose! We are prevented from letting you out of the palace.
- Can I have a park? - locking the dwarf. “Give some affection, send someone, let them keep an eye on the palace, so you can take me to the park and look for the grass there.”
Vartovy obeyed, and the dwarf was allowed to enter the park, because
Newly there were such high moors that for years I had been thinking about climbing over them and flowing in.
Having fallen free, the dwarf Nes carefully let go of a bunch of Mimi, and she quickly ran to the camp where there were a bunch of chestnuts. Dwarf Nes scanned after her at the great carriage: this is the only hope. Having already decided what to do if Mimi doesn’t find the grass he needs, he’d rather throw himself into a position rather than allow his head to be cut off.
Tim spent an hour searching for grass. She was running around with old chestnuts, sorting through the crops, but the grass she needed was still missing. Poor Mimi began to cry out of fear and pity. And it was already getting dark outside, and the surroundings were getting darker, so it was already important to learn from each other. Having looked around for a while, Jacob glanced at the other boy.
“Wonder, marvel,” he cheers, “there, on top of that, stands another majestic old tree.” Let's walk there and look for flowers, my happiness is my lot!
The goose took off and flew completely over the water, and Jacob, frantically moving his short legs, ran along the shore after her. The chestnut tree was majestic, its wide branches did not let in any light and it was completely dark as a white tree. That rumpus of a goose spun back and buried itself, cheerfully shook its wings, stuck its head near the high ground and, while staring there, stretched its hand to the delighted Jacob.
- This is the very grass you need, and here are the chairs that you can weave for your entire life! - Vaughn said.
The dwarf looked at the grass with respect. There was a sweet, fragrant spirit in front of her, which inadvertently reminded me of the scene of my transformation. The stem and leaf were pale green, and the animal had a clear yellow flower.
- What a miracle! - saying vineshti. “You know, I wonder why it’s that very little grass that turned me from my whites into this innocent mess.” Why don’t you try my happiness?
“No, no, check,” her voice muttered. – Pick up another handful of this herb, we’ll go to your room, we’ll take all the money and goodness you have, and then you’ll try the herb.
So they collected the stinks: they went back to the palace and put in one bundle everything that was in the dwarf Nose - hundreds of chervints, bits of clothes and booties. Having called the vuzlik, the dwarf said:
- If it is the will of Heaven, I will immediately wake up as his tractor.
Sticking your nose into the grass and inhaling its scent deeply. And then my whole body began to feel crunchy. As if he sensed that his head was rising above his shoulders, he squinted his eyes at his nose, squinting as if he were smaller. The chests and shoulders began to bulge, and the legs began to sag.
Guska marveled at all those wonders and was amazed.
- Oh, how great you are, how ugly you are! - Vaughn vigued. - But you haven’t lost sight of the dwarf!
As if he was already healthy, he clasped his hands on his chest and prayed deeply to God. Let’s not forget about those who, with their little way of doing things, lead the way to Memes. And although my heart had already poured out to my old fathers, my life helped them almost.
“To whom, if not you, Mimi, am I to blame for those who were suddenly born?” Even without you, I wouldn’t know any of this grass and I’d probably end up with a wet dwarf, and maybe I’d die under a heavy kata. I want to tell you and I will take you to your father: he is an expert in enchantment rights and without much trouble will allow you to perform enchantments.
Guska began to cry with joy and immediately came in handy. Jacob was lucky enough to get out of the palace at the same time, and both of them, without missing a beat, set off on the road.
What can we add to this story? For example, those who allegedly happily reached the enchanter Veterbok, who took the spell from his daughter and gave Jacob generous gifts, who suddenly turned home and who recognized his father’s mother as his stolen son, who arunki Veterboka Jacob bought his own prison and becoming rich and happy.
And I still forgot to say that there was a great disturbance in the Duke’s palace after the death of the dwarf Nose. The next day, if the Duke intended to end his threat and decided to chop off the dwarf's head, because he did not have the necessary herbs, they allegedly could not find out anywhere. Then the distinguished guest believed that the Duke himself would allow a dwarf leak, rather than waste his best cook, and began to argue with the Duke, thus breaking his word. This is how the war ended, known in history under the name “Grass War”. In this war there were a lot of bitter battles, but in the end peace came, which was called the “Pate World”, because at the local banquet the guests were presented with the king of pates - the prince’s cook baked pate “sovereign”. The Duke has already finished it!

Tonechka lived on Stroiteley Street, in house number 3, in apartment 23, on the third floor of a 5-story building. During the day she went to school, walked in the yard, studied homework, and in the evening, if she went to bed on time, Mom would tell her a fairy tale.

So it was on this day.
And the fairy tale that day was about Lilliputians.

“Far, far away in the forest,” Mom began slowly: “Where no man has gone before, in a place that is not on any map, there lived little men - Lilliputians.”
They built tree houses, laid paths and real big roads, collected apples and strawberries, flower honey and nuts for the winter, and together defended themselves from birds of prey and animals. Everything went well with them, just like with real people.
The Lilliputians lived in several cities, which were located at a very large (by Lilliputian standards) distance from each other (two weeks of travel, or even three if it rained or the wind blew). The cities were named after the colors of the rainbow and all differed from each other in something special.
For example, in the Orange City (which we are talking about) there was a high, high tower made of wood as hard as stone, which was taller than all the trees, and seemed to reach into the sky with its spire. And only the bravest of the Lilliputians could reach the pointed top, look into the distance from there and see the endless green sea of ​​​​the forest and the huge orange Sun.

It was an ordinary day, and nothing special had happened yet, but some kind of painful expectation still hung in the air. And then in the evening sad news came from the Green City. A real famine began there - the birds destroyed the storage facility and ate all the food supplies.
Was early spring, - and the new harvest was still very far away.
At the city council in the Orange city, a clear decision was made - to help.

The expedition was quickly equipped, the ten largest apples were selected, and they decided to roll them along the ground. Many wanted to go on this expedition, but they chose only those who would be more useful on the trip.
The other group, according to the plan, was supposed to fly on an airship, fly faster and warn that help was close. Flying an airship over such a long distance was also a rather dangerous undertaking, but the dangers in the sky, of course, could not be compared with those that could lie in wait for the Lilliputians on the ground.

The journey began on a clear sunny day, and the road could have been easy:
if apples weren't so heavy,
if the rain, which began on the third day of the journey, had not washed away all the roads,
if I didn’t have to stop - and build rafts and continue sailing on them, and not along the shortest route, until the weather improved,
if only I didn’t have to climb the mountain afterwards,
if on the tenth day of the journey the Lilliputians had not been attacked by apple eaters, from whom they barely fought off, losing the two largest apples.

But by the end of the third week of the journey, the Lilliputians, despite any difficulties, still reached the Green City. At the same time, an airship arrived. The weather was not windy, and it was not possible to fly faster.
The whole city came out to meet the airship, from which, even before it landed, they made a speech about mutual assistance and friendship.
They decided not to show the tortured, unwashed and dirty midgets from the walking expedition to anyone at the celebration, which began immediately after the airship landed. True, they were washed, fed and put to bed, but they didn’t need anything else.

And you, Tonechka, if you were a midget, would you want to fly to the aid of other midgets on an airship or make your way around the Earth? - Mom suddenly asked.

Tonechka thought about it.

“Fly high in the sky,” Mom continued: “Swim slowly and calmly, touching the treetops, admiring the blue sky, snow-white clouds, far from adversity and danger.

Tonechka clearly imagined this fascinating picture, clouds like white soft cotton wool, a blue-blue sky, bright sunlight and a huge gray airship ball overhead.

“Or roll huge apples through a forest full of dangers, frightened by every rustle, hide at night in the darkness of dense trees from wild animals, so that in the morning with the first rays they can continue the endless path,” Mom quietly finished the phrase.

(What would you choose, dear children?)

Tonechka felt that for some reason she didn’t want to choose what she had to choose without any hesitation. She noted that for the first time in her life she was solving such a difficult problem, when everything was clearer than ever, but something prevented her from making a choice. What is this?

This is what lives in you, Mom guessed her thoughts, you can make mistakes, but what you have there is never wrong. It knows exactly who you are and what you need to do, just listen and you will hear everything!

I would have been the one who sent them there,” Tonechka had an unexpected thought.

Not tricky! – Mom said softly, “Listen to yourself and tell me what you hear.”

(What did Tonechka answer, what do you think?)

Yes, that's what she chose.

a fairy tale for children of a fair age...

Once upon a time there lived a dwarf. As befits dwarfs, he was short. As for his appearance... even if you have traveled a lot around the world, you are unlikely to have met a second freak like him. It’s common to feel sorry for dwarves in fairy tales; in the end, they turn out to be handsome princes, but about this I’ll tell you this: save your tears. When you find out what he did, you won't really want to cry.

No less ugly than himself was the character of the dwarf - he deeply hated and despised people. All day long he sat in his closet, biting his nails and squeezing pimples, thinking about how to harm people. But since he was not only ugly, but also stupid, he couldn’t come up with anything. Only when night fell did the dwarf go out into the street and scare passers-by - this was his best entertainment. One day, during one of these walks, the dwarf met an old witch he knew.

“Oh, it’s you,” she creaked instead of greeting. – Do you still scare people? Not a bad job for an idiot like you. If there was even a drop of intelligence in your empty head, you would give up your stupid jokes and take up worthwhile witchcraft - you would find a beauty willing to kiss your vile mug, hehe... Then... - the witch amused herself, - the girl would get all your ugliness, but you - you, brainless freak! – would become Apollo with the mind of Asclepius.

Hearing these words, the dwarf abandoned his vile affairs and went in search of such a beauty. He walked from house to house, from town to town, repeating the witch's words to himself over and over again. Sometimes they sympathized with him, sometimes they threw a handful of small coins. Sometimes they let the dogs loose. But no one wanted to kiss him.

This continued until he knocked on the door of one whose kindness surpassed her beauty. By that time, the dwarf had learned to evoke pity in people, although he still despised them. He fell to his knees in front of the beauty and began to sob, telling her how hard the life of an ugly little man was...

Nobody knows how it happened. Maybe the beauty wanted to calm him down, maybe witchcraft intervened, but the truth is this - as soon as the lips of the slender blue-eyed girl touched the dwarf, he pushed her away with a laugh and ran to the nearest airport, as he ran turning into the handsome man promised by the witch.

For some time the girl lay unconscious, and when she woke up, she went to the mirror and then saw that all her beauty had disappeared. She turned into a disgusting dwarf, even more disgusting than the freak she kissed. At first she thought about committing suicide, but then she went to the phone and dialed a number known to everyone. “Someday the spell may dissipate,” that’s how the Trust Service reassured her. She collected the most necessary things and went to live in the nearest forest, settling in an old badger hole.

Winter has come. The former beauty was hungry and cold. During the day, she had to collect brushwood in the forest and dig up edible roots, and at night she had to maintain the fire and drive away animals prowling in search of food. Sometimes the cruel forest life drove the poor girl to despair, and she more than once thought about committing suicide. But... Months flew by, the snow melted, the grass turned green. The dwarf arranged her underground home as best she could, walked through the forest, and her mood was no longer so gloomy.

One day, early in the morning, she left her home and saw a dwarf standing a few steps from her hole. Needless to say, the former beauty was not kind to him. But it turned out that she was not alone in her grief - one day an ugly little man knocked on the door of the handsome prince’s castle. She asked him just for one kiss...

This is how their friendship began. Hand in hand, the former prince and the beauty sat all day and all night, telling each other about their past lives, mourning their stolen beauty. But... fairy tales are fairy tales, so that miracles happen in them. It so happened that early in the morning the powerful fairy Abuellita was walking through the forest with her retinue.

- What's going on here? – she asked sternly, looking at the whining freaks through the lorgnette that replaced her magic wand. The former prince told her about what happened to him and his girlfriend.

“It’s a disgrace,” Abuellita said indignantly. - Blatant lie! Deception! Evil witchcraft! I definitely have to intervene!

- Hey you, lazybones! “- she shouted at her retinue, “bring these scoundrels to me immediately!” I'll talk to them myself.

And immediately two silver dragons, spitting out flames, rose into the sky. Less than half an hour had passed before they brought in their clutches a man and woman who were frightened to death. The former dwarf had by that time become a Latin American millionaire, and the former dwarf had become a prima donna in one of the Parisian theaters.

Seeing Abuelita and the prince and beauty they had deceived, the scammers immediately understood what was happening and fell to their knees, begging them not to turn them into the old monsters. They promised to buy the forest dwarfs a wonderful house with a tiled roof, like gnomes have, send them to Disneyland, pay a lot plastic surgery- in a word, everything that is usually promised in such cases.

“Enough,” Abuelita shouted at them. – Everything is already clear to me. You yourself admitted your guilt. It's time to think about punishment. The best thing I could do is to turn you into your former lying monsters, and return the beauty and the prince to their appearance. “Unfortunately,” Abuellita said, looking away, “my strength is no longer enough.” Too much time has passed to restore beauty to the unfortunate. However, this will not prevent me from doing half justice - that is, turning you into dwarfs! If, of course...” she said, turning her gaze to the former prince and beauty, “they ask me about it.”

The millionaire and the diva fell to their knees again, but Abellita motioned for them to be quiet. The forest dwarfs whispered a little among themselves, after which the former prince approached the fairy, bowed and said:

– Dear fairy Abuellita! My friend and I thank you for your attention. For a long time I lived in this terrible forest, suffering because of my ugliness. But I suffered even more from loneliness. And today a miracle happened - I met a friend. Yes, we regret the beauty we lost, but if it cannot be returned... what will change if there are two more dwarfs in the world? We ask you to release these people, and we will continue our lives. Together.

– I shouldn’t have doubted it! How pleasant it is to seek justice and do good! – Abuelita exclaimed solemnly and waved her lorgnette, returning the beauty and the prince to their former appearance.

“And you,” she turned to the millionaire and prima donna, “I declare you husband and wife!” – for swindlers like you, this will be the worst punishment! Hey, put them back! – and two silver dragons carried the distraught spouses away on their honeymoon.

– Glory to the almighty fairy Abuelita! – the beauty and the prince exclaimed and fell to their knees.

“What a strange day,” Abuellita complained, fanning herself. “Definitely, everyone falls to their knees.” Get up, get up! Better yet, tell me – is there anything else I can do for you?

“I don’t know if we can ask for anything else,” the prince turned to her embarrassedly, “but... could you make sure that it’s evening now?”

- Evening? What a trifle! – Abuelita laughed and waved her lorgnette. - Evening!

P.S.: This is the most true story from what I wrote. Well, maybe dragons don't fly so fast...