The age of love is not a hindrance: how to please a young guy. How to please a man and attract his attention Psychology of relationships how to please a guy

Joseph Fanelli

Psychotherapist, teacher specializing in sexuality and relationships.

1. Speak without speaking

Even before you strike up a conversation with a guy, your body will tell him a lot. And the first thing he will notice is how physically attractive you are.

It's not just about beauty. If you are fit and well-built, then you are able to give birth to healthy offspring.

Another important aspect is whether you are showing interest. Hanging around your neck, of course, is not necessary, but subtly hinting that a man has a chance is very desirable.

There are two tricks to show this. First, blink more often, because we naturally start doing this when we're excited. Secondly, lean a little towards the interlocutor: this is also a non-verbal signal of interest.

We like people with whom we have a lot in common. Therefore, your task is to find common ground with the guy you like. For example, you can agree on a love of music or, if there are few common interests, try to feel what he likes.

At the beginning of your acquaintance, the easiest way to show similarity is to use the chameleon effect.

Try to take the same posture as the man, imitate his movements and gestures, use the words and phrases that he includes in his speech.

It is not worth being an exact and synchronous copy: it is too obvious. Try to predict the movements of the interlocutor or, in general, repeat them after a few seconds.

3. Stay visible

The more often we see a person, the more we like him. Science also confirms this. In one study Proximity and Peership: Bases of Balance in Interpersonal Attraction dormitory residents were asked to rate their attitude towards neighbors. It turned out that the boys and girls liked those who lived nearby: in the neighboring rooms or on the next floors.

In ordinary life, this means that if you and a guy visit the same place (university, courses, gym), then you have a better chance of liking him.

6. Make him a hug fan

When you cuddle, oxytocin is released in the body, which enhances the feeling of closeness. So cuddle with the guy you are interested in when you meet and say goodbye, during joyful moments and just like that.

7. Find what makes you happy

In the end, it all comes down to the fact that interesting people are interested in being together. So don't waste time luring someone into your webs, but keep looking. Happiness and passion are attractive in themselves. Become the one who emits them.

Let's imagine that Katya's girl has an adorable object - a man. They met on the Internet, and the long-awaited first date is just around the corner. What should Katherine do to please the guy? The Allwomen’s team interviewed more than a hundred men of different professions, aged 20 to 55, and found out how to attract their attention and arouse genuine interest from the first minutes of the meeting. What does the stronger sex appreciate in girls in the first place? We share the most candid confessions of men!

How to please a guy 20-25 years old

Ivan, 20 years old, student

She is attracted by a shy, modest girl. I advise you to be yourself, not to play another person. Minimum makeup: only highlight the eyes, lip gloss. False nails and shaved eyebrows drawn with a pencil - this is what guys don't understand.

Should not be 100% dependent on parents. Have interesting hobbies, and not flip through non-stop VK and repost smart phrases on the wall. No rudeness and vulgarity. No princess syndrome. Clever.

Vasily, 22 years old, young entrepreneur

I appreciate ambitious girls with their own point of view. The strong and feminine in one bottle will really interest me. This is a girl with an inner philosophy, able to inspire and support a man. Patient, educated, creative. She constantly develops herself as a person and is busy with her own business.

Kirill, 22 years old, lawyer

Each girl is good in her own way, but for me the mind, the ability to maintain a conversation, a good sense of humor are in the foreground. Then I pay attention to style, harmony and naturalness of the image. I prefer natural beauty and a minimum of make-up - paint on eyelashes, apply a colorless lip balm. In addition, a woman should understand her strengths and weaknesses, and show the latter.

In family life, be able to smooth out controversial situations, be a good psychologist and support a guy. Do not depend entirely on the finances of a man, work for yourself.

Anton, 22 years old, IT

I don't like ordinary people. First of all, I appreciate the ability to maintain a non-trivial conversation. Not only to answer questions, but also to be proactive in communication. I like crazy sparks in my eyes and a sly smile. Attracted by interesting, extraordinary personalities.

Andrey, 23 years old, fitness trainer

Kindness, sincerity are key factors. Well erudite girls are attracted by a magnet. She must have a clear outlook and life principles. Inspire a man, and at the same time be his opposite. I am impressed by ladies with their own hobbies and successes.

Appearance - I'm not critical, but I love natural well-groomed beauty. Strongly against the coloring of the Amazon and tons of toner on the face in a daily look. A neat, natural, interesting personality - yes, such a girl beckons to her!

Alexander, 24 years old, entrepreneur

They attract girls as an interesting interlocutor with established views on life. It is especially important in my chosen one that she does not stick into the phone on the first dates. And the Instagram feed had fewer pictures of "how I had a wonderful day." Good looks and smell are also important.

Roman, 24 years old, barber

Immediately at the first meeting, I draw attention to beautiful well-groomed hair, natural manicure, classic make-up. I am a connoisseur of natural beauty. They are attracted by open girls, but with a mystery. She knows how to make me laugh and exudes kindness from her. I do not like dolls that are played to the audience.

Loves classical literature and theaters. Spiritually developed.

Vladimir, 25 years old, sailor

Feminine, well-groomed, elegant girls with inner charm attract. Temperamental, positive and possessing a fighting spirit.

What kind of girls do men from 26 to 35 like?

Vlad, 26 years old, shoemaker

Men have different tastes, from calm to wild. Personally, I am one of those species that choose the "golden" mean. A "detached woman" who is not ashamed of society suits me. In behavior and relationships, he does not look at the people around him, he is guided by the world “just me and she”.

Dmitry, 26 years old, IT

I think that there is no universal or magical method to charm a man - everything is individual :)

I am a believer that everything is based on mutual feelings and needs. Subconsciously, instinctively, regardless of positive or negative qualities, appearance or individual character traits.

Therefore, the secret is to be "yourself", to be open and sincere. And of course, an erudite girl.

Denis, 28 years old, customs officer

The first, of course, is the appearance. A well-groomed girl is sympathetic to any man. From the first minutes of communication, it becomes clear whether you have points of contact or the conversation will not stick together. Ladies with unusual interests are very sympathetic: they love football, understand cars. This is surprising, there is a desire to get to know the person better.

For further relationships, I would start from the general views on friendship, sex, business. The foundations of life should remind mine. But by no means imitate the guy! Don't make yourself another person at first meetings. After all, this is easily revealed, and then the desire to call the girl for a second date disappears.

Ivan, 30 years old, photographer

Let me put it briefly: a woman should want children, but not make the wedding a priority. Be smart, sincere, so that she is not influenced by those around her, first of all, her friends. Beautiful without makeup, 6-10 years younger than a man. Talk about business, do not compare the guy with friends and exes. To be able to forgive the shortcomings of the chosen one - within reasonable limits.

Sergey, 32, businessman-marketer

I will never be interested in a girl who too fiercely defends her position in an argument with me. A woman who is too independent and independent does not cause any emotions either.

This behavior is clearly monitored in the little things: the chair moves itself to the table when a man is standing next to him, or is the first to enter the room. She puts on the coat herself. Lost if a man gives her a hand to get up or cross a puddle / curb.

In the course of a conversation, he emphasizes independence. The phrases “there is a man today, but not tomorrow, so you need everything yourself”.

Denis, 35 years old, owner of a large business

Let's not be cunning - for a man, first of all, physical data is important. If a woman is not at all attractive, there are simply no options to seduce and interest a guy. This is followed by a keen mind and the ability to conduct a dialogue. Silly girls with cute faces are only suitable for bed entertainment - alas. I recommend today's young ladies to develop comprehensively.

How to please a man over 55

Vladimir, 55 years old, owner of a chain of stores

Well-groomed appearance and quick mind - that's what is appreciated in women of any age. Ability to sustain a conversation, raise a topic. For a man to be attracted to you, you must be "on the same wavelength." Going on a date for the first time? Find out his interests and read at least a couple of related publications. If there is an awkward pause, you suddenly, oops, and say, "I read the other day ... what do you think about these moments?" This will rekindle interest in the girl.

And the main skill of a woman is to emphasize her figure. Wear blouses and skirts, dresses. Neat outfits. So that the image pleases the eye and makes you turn around. But do not confuse with "bl * dskim" - a skirt where the butt is visible, a cut to the nipples will cause only one desire - to drag you to bed. And to convince a man of your purity and morality will become an impossible mission.

And never put work first when you first meet. Don't pretend to be a business woman. A man subconsciously sees you as the weaker sex. This is great if you are self-reliant and well-off. But don't make a cult out of it. Family and home are equally important to you.

Summing up: how to please a guy or a man

Despite the large range of ages of the interviewed men and different occupations, the stronger sex values in a woman:

A well-rounded personality that is not limited to one or two topics of conversation
Femininity and well-groomed appearance
Natural beauty - basic makeup in everyday life
Real behavior - less pathos and pretense
Doesn't prioritize career
Kind, sincere and flexible
Doesn't try to re-educate the man and take the position of the head in the relationship / family

So, girls, we analyze our pros and cons, study the guy and fill in the blanks. Then the desired prince will turn out to be the very close and dear man! :)

Why does it happen that some girls are liked by men without putting in any effort? And it seems that she does not have a figure, and it seems that she is not a beauty outwardly, but the attention of the stronger sex is riveted only to her, as soon as she appears in the company. What is the secret here and how to please a man? We will ask professional psychologists for advice.

What can psychologists advise us in such a difficult question? Men love with their eyes, but the inner world of a woman is an important component for any man. That's why psychologists recommend:

Positive minded a person is pleasant to everyone. I want to take an example from him, there is a desire to see him next to him and be charged with his positive. Smile more often, and interest in you from the opposite sex will increase significantly.
Be sincere. Sincerity is an important quality and a guarantee of a reliable relationship. Therefore, if you want to please a guy, amaze him with your openness. But don't pretend, pretending, especially poorly played, is repulsive.
Engage in self-development. Men, contrary to the usual opinion, do not like "funny silly fools", it is interesting with them only at dances. To appear next to an intelligent and educated girl is a sign of good taste.
Good sense of humor- an indicator of a sharp mind. A girl who knows how to appreciate subtle humor and support the interlocutor will attract not a single admirer.
Mystery woman evokes hunting instincts and a desire to conquer. Let the young man open all the new pages in this book.

If a girl adheres to these simple tips, she will not only find her prince, but will also win the sympathy of the people around her, having established herself as an interesting and intelligent companion.

How to please a man on a first date?

The first appointment is a special moment. On the first date, sometimes, everything is decided once and for all. We prepare for it in a serious way, as before an important exam.

What kind regulations must be observed for a good date?

They are greeted by clothes, and for the first date I want to pick up something special. But do not discharge and apply war paint. Naturalness- the main friend of the modern lady. Be the way your close people are used to seeing you, do not try to deceive anyone. If you are a princess in life, then be her on the first date, if you prefer sports and comfortable clothes, then you can pick something up here for the first date.
If you are not interested with him on a date, you should not immediately criticize your friend, guys cannot stand it. You can always find the positive, even where it would seem that it is not at all. Maybe this is not the most interesting film or concert, maybe this is not the most comfortable cafe and not the most pleasant one. Do not focus your attention on this, the main thing is that you are there and this is an opportunity make a positive impression on him.
It is extremely important - the content of your conversation when you first meet in private. You shouldn't rattle without a break, although the excitement in this case is understandable and understandable. Know how to talk and listen. It is imperative to tell about yourself, but keep the mystery, reveal not all secrets and leave room for intrigue. And most importantly, you shouldn't mention your former partners.

And the most important tip for a first date is do not invent "princes" for yourself, look at the situation realistically.

How to please a man in bed?

If your relationship has already outgrown the initial stage and is moving to a more serious one, do not panic, everything goes on as usual.

When you are alone with him, do not forget that he worries no less than you, help him calm down:

Do not hesitate and do not pinch, although of course the excitement is understandable. Express your feelings openly, because that is why you are both here.
Put on sexy lingerie, let him see that you were preparing and also wanted to please him.
If you see that he is embarrassed and does not dare to take more serious actions, help. Help him in everything. Your help will give confidence to your partner. He will be grateful to you for that.
And of course weasel, men love her no less than women. And they will gladly not only accept tenderness, but also give it to you.

There is no doubt that we are all different and some like one thing, while others - another. By getting to know your partner better, you can predict what he wants to get in bed. That's why observe him more often in everyday life, it will help you learn to understand each other.

Of course, who would give better advice here than they. What do the representatives of the stronger sex say, what do they advise? Below we publish tips from the famous Russian psychologist Viktor Efremov:

A woman should be beautiful in everything. Simply put, men like feminine girls. And it's not about dresses and heels. And in a light gait, a gentle smile, a gentle look. And if you are wearing at least a thousand of the best and most expensive costumes, if a girl is vulgar and immodest, nothing will help her become a princess.
Observe a sense of proportion. Men say that a girl who understands that it's time to wrap up before he starts looking at his watch will surprise with her insight and make any guy worry: "Why is she running away, did I do something wrong?" And do not let him at first, accompany you to the apartment, it is enough to bring you to the entrance, you need to be able to leave beautifully and modestly.
Men are interested in women who are interesting to themselves: “We like to feel like hunters, not prey, we don’t need to give up everything for our attention. Keep your distance, respect yourself, be a person, make friends, run away from under our noses! "

Men are all different and women too, don't be afraid to experiment... It didn't work out today, tomorrow a new day and a new opportunity await you.

Mistakes to Avoid

Desiring, girls often overdo it in their pursuit. There are no perfect people, but there are things that are best avoided.

. Yes, jealousy, an indicator that a person is not indifferent to you. Or maybe it’s not so? Maybe you just need to work on yourself and increase your self-esteem. A man can talk to anyone, watch and evaluate the world around him. You just need to behave in a way that he doesn't want to change. Jealous of a scandal, you will definitely not achieve the desired result. Don't let yourself be open, it scares them.
Personal space. Leave him some free time on your own. It's okay for everyone to have friends, hobbies, and an hour of peace and quiet.
Love yourself... Chat with your friends. Live life to the fullest. A relationship with a man is the very reason that should make you work on yourself. Lead an interesting life and be interesting to him.
Say "Thank you!" Men love, they have been praised and thanked for years. If you don't, now is the time to start.

Do not make such simple mistakes, it will be useful, first of all, to you.

How to understand what a man liked?

How do you know that you did it? Here are a few characteristic features this:

He will start to get nervous when you appear: fiddling with the buttons of his jacket or playing with a lighter in his hands.
He will try to touch you at any opportunity: hold your elbow or offer his hand if necessary.
He will begin to take care of himself: he will straighten his posture, straighten his shoulders and tighten his stomach.
You will understand everything from his look. He will slide over you with his eyes, because it is so pleasant to inspect what you like.

And of course he can just tell you about it. Such daredevils are not rare, but not so often.

After reading all of the above, you can safely dare. After all, here there is an opinion not only of strangers, but also the representatives of the strong half themselves advise how to please a man.

In this video, psychologist Anna Roksovskaya will tell you 4 main mistakes that can prevent a woman from liking an interesting man:

Many women, having met on their path in life the very one whom they have been looking for all their conscious life, cannot attract his attention and fall into despair. It seems to them that they are not capable of anything and will never be truly happy. But all this is not true, it is strongly discouraged to think so. If suddenly, a woman does not succeed in charming a man she likes, first of all she should think, does she really need it? And if the answer is yes, then you can start the process of seduction. And so that everything goes as it should and there is no mistake, this article will help her. Below are 13 effective ways, having studied and adopted, a woman can easily achieve her goal, that is, make any man fall in love with herself.

1. All representatives of the stronger sex, deep in their hearts, are little puppies that need to be cuddled and fed, and in return they will rub against the woman's legs, faithfully running after her wherever she goes. Do not drive them away. Let them lie at their feet. A man cannot be re-educated, but he can be trained and taught.

2. All men are narcissistic and this fact is scientifically proven. If a woman wants her chosen one to be devoted to her and listen to everything, she should often compliment him. For example, highlight his appearance, character traits. To say how charming he is, how sexy, smart, generous and courageous. All this will greatly benefit the fair sex. Men, after such statements addressed to them, melt like a snowball, hang their ears and are ready for a lot for women and will be faithful all their lives.

3. All men love with their eyes. Therefore, if a woman wants to attract the attention of a man she likes, then she should use weapons of mass destruction. What is this weapon? Woman's outfit! She must put on her most seductive outfit, smile intimately, remember her grace in gait and reinforce all this with her own irresistibility and with a pure heart into battle. Not one man can resist this, and her lover is no exception.

4. All men are attracted to the "forbidden fruit" like a magnet. A woman needs to pretend that she is indifferent to him and she is indifferent to him. He will understand that she needs to be conquered, and since all men are hunters and warriors, he will immediately begin to act. But in no case should you overdo it, otherwise the “fish” will swim away without trying the bait. A woman should subtly hint to a man that he has a chance.

5. All men love secrets. If a woman is not attracted to the role of a mysterious stranger, then you can use the role of an agent of secret special services. This approach is very modern and fraught with a lot of intrigue.

6. For the most part, a man obeys through kindness and childish naivety. If a woman wants a man she likes to want to be with her and give her attention, love and care, then she should appear before him in the form of a sincere and naive young person who does not understand the modern world at all and is in part frightened by it. A man will want to protect her and protect her with his whole body.

7. All men at heart are small children who really want to be understood and pitied. A woman should give a man the opportunity to be a “vest” for him in which he could cry. And there is nothing shameful in such behavior of men. Even great geniuses, whose souls are constantly wandering somewhere in the fantasy world, need human support.

8. All men want either to be loved or to love. Those who want to be loved are weak men and if there is no necessary support next to them, then they will not stand it for a long time and there is a chance of losing them. The second type of men, those who want to love, are strong. The fair sex is divided into the same types. If a woman has a weak type, then she needs a strong man. If, on the contrary, she is strong, then, accordingly, her man should be of a weak type.

9. All men are deep inside teenagers who love to play computer games and football in the yard. Therefore, in order to please a man, a woman must play his games with him. And when a man is satisfied with this, present him with your games with your own rules.

10. All men are warriors at heart. And as you know, amorous war is far from easy. A man is required to have knowledge, considerable experience, and so that he knows how to build his own strategies and is always armed to the teeth. Therefore, a woman who wants to please a man must first give him a rebuff so that the excitement comes to him, and then, after a short resistance, put up a white flag as a sign of complete surrender.

11. All men want the very best. Therefore, a woman must make sure that the man is sure that she is the best. And the man will believe, because the representatives of the stronger sex are so trusting.

12. All men are incapable of reacting with indifference if they first invade their possessions (life) bringing with them joy and fun, and then suddenly disappear without saying where and for how long. If a man stops sleeping and his thoughts will always be with a woman, then she can relax. He is knocked out and is unlikely to ever come to his senses.

13. All men want to be sure that the whole universe is playing by their rules and that they are the masters of life. If a woman wants to please a man, then in no case should she show him that she is chosen by him. She should make him think he chose her. How to do it? As easy as pie. A woman simply does not need to demonstrate her interest in him. He should not think that it is being imposed. In addition, a woman follows all the ideas that come from her own head to pass off as him, then the man will be proud and glad that he has such a good and understanding woman.

Absolutely any man, regardless of his preferences, can be liked in just the first 5 minutes of the conversation - thanks to psychological tricks

They say that one glance at a man is enough for a woman to already know everything about him: his social status, marital status, wealth, age and whether a man is worth her attention or not. And it is not surprising: men always view a woman as a potential mistress, but a woman evaluate all representatives of the stylish sex as candidates for the role of the father of her future children. And these data can really be obtained in a few seconds thanks to a quick assessment of the man's appearance: what is he wearing (talking about his wealth), whether he is shaved or not, does it smell like male perfume (talking about social status), is the shirt collar clean and ironed whether (speaks of marital status), and, finally, whether a confident gait (speaks volumes). And that's all. But a man, in order to "weigh" a woman at the expense of her sexuality, attractiveness and charm, needs a little more - just 5 minutes of conversation. Yes, that's why women love to evaluate men visually, and men themselves try to "figure out" the girls they like in the course of a conversation - that's why they always try to get to know each other, to speak. As Socrates said: “Speak and I will tell you who you are” - this principle is very close to men.

So, any girl always has 5 minutes to please a man - what to do if there are only competitors around. But these 5 minutes should be used as efficiently as possible, using the most proven psychological tricks for influencing men. Although these methods can hardly be called tricks, everything will be quite simple, and they are based on simple truths that women have completely forgotten today.

How to please any man in 5 minutes

So, a handsome imposing man drew attention to you, and you would not mind getting to know him? Then go for it!

1 minute: Positive

Men have always been attracted and will be attracted by positive girls. These are the ones who, like the sun, charge others with their energy and radiate heat. After all, it is the positive that we lack so much in everyday life, and when a man meets such a girl, if he does not start a relationship with her, then he will definitely want to communicate at least as with a friend. And, most likely, he will do it for sure.

But positive is not loud laughter or clown dancing. Therefore, you should not make fun of others and joyfully jump like after a drug - these are men, when they fall in love, behave foolishly. This is not for women.

Therefore, in order to attract the stronger sex with a positive, you just need to be in a good mood. Even if it is raining, slush outside, and in the morning someone has already pretty ruffled their nerves, imagine that today is the best day in your life. For example, imagine that in a minute you will win the Jackpot (and you will still win, because you will soon sink into the heart of a wealthy and handsome man).

2 minutes: Glance

So, the man he liked paid attention and decided to get to know each other (or just speak up, if it is an employee). Now you need to use the second, most powerful psychological weapon - the look. You need to look at the desired object carefully, with downright admiration and always from the bottom up (if you are tall, sit down). A delighted look, as if at a star, simply conquers men. After all, they all in their hearts want to be something like a god for women. But neither family members nor friends consider them as such. Therefore, this view almost always works flawlessly.

Only you need to look not predatory, tenaciously assessing how much a man's suit costs and how good he will be in bed - namely, with the look that a happy bride looks at her groom - tenderly, deeply, with trepidation. “To be beautiful means to always look at the one you love,” heartbreaker Julia Roberts once confidently stated.

But there is an exception - an enviable groom, who is simply spoiled by the attention of mistresses, girlfriends and employees. You only need to cast one glance at such a man (and always so that he noticed him) - arrogant, cold, condescending (but not mocking - men do not like this). Such a man will surely intrigue such a man and even take away his peace of mind for a long time.

3 minutes: Attention

So, the "shooting with eyes" is over, and the conversation has begun. At this moment, you need to listen very carefully to everything that the man says, and - this is important - not to rush to answer him. While a man speaks (even one phrase), it is necessary to carefully look into his eyes (all with the same admiration), keep your mouth closed (in the literal sense - without parted lips, this can be perceived subconsciously as a sign of aggression) and - be silent!

So, many girls, when meeting, make one stupid and common mistake - they start talking a lot, just chatting incessantly. It is clear that this is the fault of an overabundance of emotions and excitement, but such incessant twitter can simply "kill" a man. In this case, if he was looking for a girl for the night, the conversation will continue. But if he was planning to have a stronger relationship, then such a girl's behavior will not please him, and at best he will promise to call and retire.

The fair sex is even more stupid when they begin to giggle stupidly. Honestly, men do not always guess what exactly made a girl laugh, and often take it as a mockery of themselves. The more experienced stronger sex already knows well why and why his interlocutor behaves so stupidly, but she does not want to appear with her somewhere in public or in a circle of friends. Because that kind of giggle is just annoying.

Therefore, the best and most reliable way to please a man is to be silent while he speaks, not to end sentences after him and not to interrupt. Note that even in professional circles, respected speakers will never be interrupted. And respect for a man is above all.

Therefore, while competitors giggle and rain down on the man an endless stream of meaningless words - keep quiet. And while you are silent, your look will be much more expressive, and your face will be more beautiful. But the desired object should be given time and admired.

Minute 4: Mysterious

Silence has other valuable advantages - the number of words spoken in a conversation is inversely proportional to the man's opinion of the mind of his interlocutor. The less a girl says, the more she will make an impression of herself as smart, pleasant - and even interesting. Yes, this is the psychology of the stronger sex - if even the whole conversation with him does not open your mouth, but only nod your head and look with adoring eyes, you can even get a sincere admiring compliment: "You are a wonderful companion."

Minute 5: Charisma

So, three or four minutes of conversation have passed, your mind and beauty have been appreciated, which means it's time to show off your charisma and charm. And for this, say something unexpected, intrigue. But do not be an open book - become a real mystery for a man.

Be sure to smile. Do everything to make the man bewildered, terribly interested, and very eager to continue the conversation. And - go away. If you continue to communicate, then you will no longer be able to guarantee 100% success. But if you retire exactly when a man's eyes light up - this is what you need. Confused, charmed, he will think about you all day - and he will definitely look for the next conversation and even propose a relationship on the fly so that his Cinderella does not run away again in the midst of the ball.

Do you only have 5 minutes to impress? That's enough - the effect will be just amazing!