What worries the office person. Questions about pain. What worries people who call support hotlines What worries people the most
Why do we need support hotlines and how they help people
Thanks to the #faceofdepression flash mob and public discussion of mental disorders and psychological problems, it became obvious that many need professional psychological help at different times in their lives - but not everyone can afford it.
Someone has no money for a paid specialist, someone is ashamed or afraid to go to the doctor. For such situations, there are helplines, crisis centers and support services where you can talk or ask for advice. Usually their employees remain behind the scenes: for those who addressed them, it is just a voice. Especially for Meduza, three specialists from psychological support services - including those for children and HIV-positive people - described how their work is arranged and what Russians are most worried about right now.
Dina Valeeva - psychologist, coordinator of the first emergency telephone in St. Petersburg psychological assistance
Our telephone for emergency psychological help is a social project of the Institute of Psychotherapy and Counseling "Harmony", the service has existed since 1989. It's free, anonymous, confidential and around the clock: we don't identify the number and don't ask for a name if the person doesn't want to say it. The consultant also has the right not to introduce himself or to use a pseudonym - this is related to our security as well.
Many people think that you only need to call the helpline when something terrible has happened to you. In general, these phones exist so that people can share their experiences on less difficult occasions. Calls in connection with emergencies (for example, suicide or experienced violence) - 1-3%. They don't happen every day. Most often people call us in connection with the crisis. Dismissal from work, divorce, separation - any event that can cause difficult experiences. We got a call when there was an explosion in the subway in St. Petersburg in April. There was a lot of information both on the Internet and on TV - and, probably, at home or at work, it seemed inappropriate for people to say that this information flow is traumatic.
Other topics for calls are health, love and family relationships. Less often - problems at work. There are calls about violence, addiction (including gambling), self-realization, and, of course, there are calls from clients with special needs. People with certain psychological characteristics or psychiatric diagnosis constantly call us: often for them this is the only way to communicate with the outside world. They don't need advice or instructions - they just want to say they went to the store or read a poem. We give them the opportunity to share something, but there are time limits: the line cannot be constantly busy so that a person in a crisis state also has the opportunity to call.
I do not have prepared answers for different situations, be it unhappy love or problems with parents. I try to tune in to one wave, I even take into account the rate of speech. If a person called the phone, it means that he wants empathy, participation, support. And in the conversation, the emphasis is always on feelings. I try to keep track of the state of the interlocutor at the beginning and at the end. Is the tension (or despair, or sadness, or pain) gone because someone shared this feeling with him.
There are situations when a consultant has the right to hang up. For example, if the rapist calls and starts savoring the details of what he did. We do not talk with drunk people: we explain that we are ready to provide support, but first the interlocutor needs to sober up. If the counselor realizes that he is being used for sexual purposes, he also ends the conversation.
I am not an advocate of written counseling, although it does exist. When you write, you need to formulate, and it turns out that this is about the area of thinking, not feelings. Live communication with a live person is more effective. I hear a voice, breathing, I track other moments that may be important to me. In addition, if the interlocutor is in a state of acute grief, such despair that there is no strength even to move, or, conversely, anger or rage - how then to type? Emoticons cannot convey all the emotions we experience. And yes, calling a stranger is an effort. But who said that psychological help should be easy? Internal changes often involve a certain amount of effort.
St. Petersburg weather is a byword, and we also happen to discuss it. It happens that a person who does not come from St. Petersburg calls, who moved here to live, and says that at first he was very inspired by the monuments of art and architecture, but gradually began to crush the dullness. The sun is rare with us. Then we start looking for a resource together - each person has his own recipe for how to support himself when it seems that everything is bad.
There are bright calls during which I understand that my work is very important both for me and for the person. Moreover, this is not always something extreme. For example, one day a child called and asked to accompany him on the phone to his apartment while he was taking the elevator. Parents are at work, and it was embarrassing to say that it was scary to not enter the entrance. It was very meaningful to me.
Kirill Barsky - Program Manager of the Charitable Foundation for the Fight against AIDS "Steps"
According to official data, more than 800 thousand people with HIV infection live in Russia today. However, the nationwide toll-free state hotline for HIV / AIDS prevention and treatment, which operated from 2006 to 2013, is no longer operational. There is no funding for it. But there are numbers where you can call and get information, help and support - for example, the number of our foundation, founded by HIV-positive people. We have a social information center where self-help groups are held, counseling, testing, medical and social support services are provided. The call is answered by “peer counselors” - that is, people with a positive HIV status. Sometimes we receive up to 50 calls a day, especially if something happened: the medicine was not delivered to the pharmacies on time, or a high-profile case got into the media.
The most common reason for calls is difficulty in accepting a diagnosis. "What do I need to do next? Will I live? " We tell you what HIV infection is, try to explain that no, not all is lost. The catchphrase: "We are saddening you, you will live, there is treatment." More often than not, callers don't even know that. It is especially difficult for a person with HIV status in small towns with a population of ten thousand people, because the offices of infectious disease doctors at hospitals, KVD [dermatovenerologic dispensaries], polyclinics are in full view. People are afraid to go there and decide to move. But even Muscovites do not immediately seek help and remain in prostration for a long time, because in our country there is no high-quality pre- and post-test counseling about HIV. At best, they find “peer counselors” or HIV-positive people. At worst, and there are also many such cases, they end up in the hospital in very poor condition and take a long time to get out. People do not trust Russian medicine and cannot even imagine that there is free high-quality treatment. Meanwhile, HIV infection is provided better than any nosology in the country.
We listen to other people's stories and tell ours. For example, I have been living with HIV since I was 18 years old and for a long time did not want to accept my diagnosis. For more than seven months I ran from the AIDS center, learning about my status - I'm busy, I have a university, I have business! And only when I realized that I could no longer go up from the first to the second floor, without breath, I went to the doctor again. Now I am 26. For six years I have been taking antiretroviral therapy without interruption. I have over a thousand immune cells, this is an excellent indicator, especially for the city.
Any people call us - everyone you can imagine. Doctors, academicians, professors. I once consulted five priests in four months. Most calls are sexually transmitted. And most often people are in a relationship: someone brought from the outside, someone was infected before the relationship, but did not know about the status, someone was abused. Very often people become completely helpless, because they do not expect such a turn of events: “After all, I’m leading healthy image life, I have a stable relationship with my wife! " If necessary, we take people for escort - we bring them by the hand to the AIDS center and help to get registered.
If the second partner remains negative, there is a very high risk that the relationship will fall apart. Because people are scared, because in most cases it is not known where the virus came from. My personal example is that I got HIV status while in a stable relationship, and we still don't know which of us brought the infection.
AIDS phobia in our society is still very pronounced. It happens that people call and ask: "I went through the sacrament, have I contracted HIV?" Once the mother of an HIV-positive man called and asked if she did the right thing to wash the apartment with bleach and set aside a separate dish for her son. XXI Century!
It happens that people call us who deny the existence of HIV infection. If this is a call from parents, we try to motivate them as much as possible to contact a specialist who works with parents. If a person just wants to prove something to himself with this call, then we are not there for them and it is pointless to enter into a dialogue. Most often these are people who have been diagnosed, but they do not want to accept it. Whether a person will go to the service after a conversation or not is his decision. Our task is not to force or persuade, but to support and help a person to realize as much as possible. Unfortunately, there are times when at the end of a call a person still says: no, I will not go. And here we can do nothing, this is his right.
I often hear from specialists: who can now cry from HIV infection, this is such nonsense. This is not true. It is a chronic, incurable disease that is fatal if left untreated. In addition, in the public mind, HIV is still associated with marginalized people - drug users, sex workers. The stigma is still there. Fortunately, it turns into action less often. But discrimination still exists - even in Moscow. Recently, a colleague of mine was bitten by a dog. We went to the emergency room, he was calmly helped, understanding the status. And then he had to go to the clinic to get a tetanus shot. The nurse called 20 hospitals in front of us, everyone said: "No, let him go to Sokolinaya Gora." Why? What is the problem with getting an injection?
Unfortunately, free counseling is not available in all regions of Russia, because the state system still does not really understand where and how to support local NGOs, activist-consultants and self-help groups, and there are practically no international donors left. Everything is relatively well in Moscow, St. Petersburg and Yekaterinburg. But even then we survive on moral and strong-willed: 90% of the work of our foundation is volunteering.
Alina Gromova - Head of the Children's Helpline of the Center for Emergency Psychological Aid, Moscow State University of Psychology and Education
Usually children call to talk about relationships - with peers or in the family. Frequent topics are conflicts with parents, emotional coldness. Less often - violence, cruelty. But since all calls are anonymous, even in this case, we cannot directly influence the development of events. Everything is done through a conversation with the child: if he is ready to open up, he leaves contacts, and we contact the guardianship authorities or other services that can help.
However, convincing him of this is not easy, because the prospect of being in orphanage frightening even more. We explain that there are intermediate stages, there are crisis centers that work with parents. But usually children are not inclined to change the situation drastically, they call, because today it is especially difficult, and it is still bearable. We are, of course, saying that it is abnormal to be subjected to violence, both physical and psychological. But more often than not, children from disadvantaged families just wait until they can go to college with a hostel and finally escape from home.
On the other side of the scale are children, from whom parents expect a lot - and they cannot withstand this pressure. Sometimes, under the story “he is a perfect student, everything is wonderful”, there may be too high parental ambitions, efforts for someone, and torments for oneself. Against this background, the so-called tunnel consciousness can even develop, when the whole world is narrowed down to the need to get an A in the exam. If it doesn't work out, that's it, life is over. And then we work to expand consciousness, we say - well, imagine yourself in ten years, what will this five give you, how will it affect your life?
Suicide is generally a common topic: children can call and tell them that they have thoughts, intentions, plans. Or it may even be an ongoing suicide - when the subscriber has already taken pills or is standing at the window, near the road. It is difficult to explain the motivation: sometimes it is fear, sometimes the desire to live, sometimes the inability to call a loved one and say goodbye. Sometimes it's indescribable - I just wanted to dial the number and talk to it by a stranger... In any emergency, we try to find out the address and call an ambulance.
The Blue Whales, of course, did not pass by our phone either. The teenagers called with the words "I tried to join the group, now I'm scared, what if they kill my parents." Anxious parents called, who flipped through all the tapes of the children and opened all their passwords in order, if anything, to prevent suicide, which was not even hinted at. There were many border violations and unnecessary panic, but some of the parents for the first time paid attention to the lives of their children, and “ blue whales»Become a marker that there are problems.
It happens that parents do not notice, do not see the difficulties, thinking that they are doing everything possible for the child. There was a call from a parent whose child is doing well at school and attends nine more clubs. There is no social communication, because the family lives in a closed cottage community. And everything seems to be fine, but then he joined the group, began to talk about death ... Parents at first tried to disown the problem: it’s great, a thousand and one circle, studying for fives, why does he need these whales? Admitting your mistakes is not easy at all. But the feeling of guilt is still present, albeit deeply: maybe I'm doing something wrong, maybe I need to change my way of upbringing, to moderate my ambitions? In this case, the conversation came to the conclusion that the group for the child was the only place where he could communicate on any topics of interest to him and he was encouraged there.
Younger children call with fears. I watched a horror movie with my brother, and now it seems that monsters are everywhere. Now "It" is popular, and I would not be surprised if there are a million calls about the fact that somewhere a clown is sitting and waiting with this balloon. And once one of the parents called and said that the child had a fear that someone was watching him, like a man. When we started to find out the details, it turned out that the child's grandfather had recently died, he was not taken to the funeral and explained that the grandfather is now in heaven and is looking at you from above. Children have very specific thinking. The child began to imagine a man in dark corners.
Teenagers call with experiences that may seem frivolous to us. “A friend took me to write off, and when the teacher caught us, she said that she gave it to copy. And she also meets with my boyfriend, took him away, and calls me a fool behind my back. But here she is my best friend. I don’t know what to do. ” But this is important. At this age, adolescents define for themselves what friendship, loyalty, honor, love, justice are. And there is no point in saying, "Find yourself another friend." The psychologist, through leading questions, clarifies what the subscriber wants. Here's the best friend doing this. How do you feel at this moment? What is friendship for you? What's happening now is friendship? How do you want to change the situation?
A relatively new topic is blackmail on social networks. The girls are calling who have met someone and have sent a naked photo. And the person is now blackmailing them: he asks for a photo in a new angle or video. If you refuse - all your friends will receive these photos (a screenshot of the list of friends is attached). Public disgrace scares girls a lot. And they don't know what to do, how to tell their parents.
There are also practical jokes, but usually the consultants feel them well: you start asking clarifying questions, and the child “pours in”. Sometimes in this way, children act out a traumatic situation that must be experienced. Once, children called us several times to tell us that they had killed a cat. We were talking about this topic for half a day. At some point, the consultant asked what happened to them, where such cruel details came from. And it turned out that they saw the downed cat in the morning. A large company, openly showing weakness, fear is impossible, but you need to comprehend the situation. Laughter is a normal reaction, it happens that in a stressful situation you laugh, not cry. The consultant sympathized, said that it was rather difficult to accept death and it was scary to think about it. He voiced their experiences and possible emotions, explained that a vivid reaction to such an event is normal. The children's emotional stress subsided, the topic ceased to be exciting, and the calls stopped.
We are all human and rely on each other to survive. In fact, in hunter-gatherer cultures, abandoning a tribe means death. So it's no surprise that we worry about what other people think of us!
But if you let this affect you, you will limit your creativity, alienate people who elevate you to some extent, waste your opportunities for financial freedom and, in the end, you simply will not be able to boldly follow your true goal.
The fear of what others will think not only limits your potential, it even leads to illness. Fear will not only make you lonely, broken, and prevent you from fulfilling your vocation, it will also increase the risk of developing dangerous cardiovascular ailments, cancer, autoimmune diseases, inflammation, chronic pain, diabetes and even colds.
So how do you know if you are too afraid of other people’s opinion of you? Here are some notable warnings. Listen to them.
You cannot tell the truth
How often do you shut up because you fear that if you do speak up, you will jeopardize your job, lose your lover, alienate a friend, or be rejected by your parents? How many times have you swallowed your truth (and with it your honesty, self-respect, and openness)?
You are not asked to voice all your thoughts. But every time you cannot express what is meaningful to you, what you think is right and necessary, you activate a stress response that weakens your body's natural self-healing mechanisms and puts yourself at risk. Plus, you are upsetting your peace of mind. And if you do not learn to follow the cries of your soul, to say what you think is necessary in each specific situation, the Universe can inflict a crushing blow on you in the form of disastrous consequences.
You become a social chameleon
Do you know people who change their mood (and appearance, and their favorite group, and even a political party) every time they get into a new social circle? Even people with self-esteem become much the same if they are surrounded by others who are not like them.
If you feel that you are trying to adjust to your social environment, then you are probably afraid that other people will not like you, because you are not at all like that, you have no common interests. And sometimes you're right. The whole truth is that you will not feel comfortable in any environment with your beliefs and attitudes. But it's worth the risk, because only when you take the risk and behave accordingly will you truly find your company.
You're lying
If you think that your truth is not welcomed, then you will have a tendency to distort the truth, hide the truth or lies. It doesn't matter if you are a man or a woman, but it is especially common among men who hide the truth from a woman because they are afraid that if they tell her everything, she will run away or reject. He is sure that if he dares to tell the truth about what he feels or what he thinks, it will shame him.
Of course, women are often guilty of lying, and men are guilty of being ashamed of their truth. It often turns out that the ladies blame their gentlemen for dishonesty. Excuse me, but what about being honest, if after that they will be disgraced or reprimanded? This is a complete failure. It is better for us not to be afraid of the truth, but to find the courage to love and respect each other.
You apologize for everything you like
For example, you say, "Yes, I listen to bands from the 1980s, although it might be silly." And after this phrase you blush, you are ashamed, you assume that the other person will judge you, will laugh at you. Then you start to pretend, say it was a joke, apologize, agree with the opinion of others.
And it so happens that a person, for example, talks about his admiration for Lady Gaga. You immediately support him, admire with him, although in fact you cannot stand her. It's just fear. The same situation can be seen in one of the scenes with Julia Roberts in Runaway Bride, where she does not know if she likes eggs for breakfast because she is copying the man she is dating. You forget that those who really love you need you, not some cheap copy.
You avoid social situations
If you are an introvert, you will find that not everyone likes the nightlife. But introverts still crave society. But if they are afraid, they will immediately leave even the most interesting company. But even the most ardent extroverts avoid social situations, because they are overly worried about what others will think.
You cannot be afraid to be yourself, all the time to wait for some kind of refusal. It is necessary to overcome the fear of what others will think of you, it is important to always remain a full-fledged person.
You hide your quirks
Do you love hamburgers and pizza, do you love to overeat this junk food at night? You know everything best recipes preparation of these dishes and all the technology? But here's the problem - you don't understand fashion, as is customary in society today. If you are too afraid of what others will think, you will be forced to follow the crowd. This activates stress responses that push your body toward illness. And by doing this, you hide your true interests, although, perhaps, there is another hamburger fan in your environment with whom you would find a common language.
You constantly wonder what the other person is thinking.
You are very confused, because you constantly try to read other people's minds to make sure who to be and what to say in a given situation. And you are not really present at this moment when talking with your mind. And, of course, do not pay attention to your beautiful, unique soul, which rewards you with thoughts and feelings.
When you are dealing with your fear of what everyone else is thinking, try to stay in the present, try to be free of fear.
You become a perfectionist
Striving for perfection is a property of the soul, striving to flawlessly perform every task. But perfectionism comes from the fear of rejection, the fear of rejection.
You hide your inner light
Think back to those times when you had pleasant moments in your life. You want to shout it from the rooftop! But you don't. Because you are afraid it will sound like bragging. Or you are worried that someone else will judge you. Or that make someone else jealous. Thus, you give up positions. But when you do, you make it impossible for everyone to see your Inner Light, your excitement, thoughts. Imagine how much more interesting and fulfilling one could live!
You hide behind a mask
You fragment your personality. When you are wearing a mask, you are acting in one direction. You act differently when you work with your business colleagues. In church, in a dance club, and in yoga class, you behave very differently. If you free yourself from fear of what others think, you will have the courage to answer the main question: who are you really?
Then your whole life will become a love letter to this true self. You are too beautiful, smart, and unique to hide behind a faceless mask that robs you of your individuality. So, once you stop caring about what everyone else thinks, you can completely "enter" your true, authentic self.
". A very important topic, VERY! Because it is really difficult to communicate with some people - you talk for half an hour, and then you have to recover for half a day. They drain energy - and they do it very effectively. Those 7 tricks that are described below really work. The main thing is to remember them, to observe them. And do not give yourself offense;)
The people who are the most difficult to love need love the most. ~ Peaceful warrior (This is a book. And a film based on the book. Interesting)
Have you ever dealt with negative people? If so, then you know that it can be terribly difficult.
I remember my former colleague who was just like that. During our conversations, she endlessly complained about colleagues, about work and about life. At the same time, she spoke very cynically about people in general, constantly doubting their intentions. Talking to her was not a pleasure. At all.
After our first conversation, I felt completely drained. Although we talked for only 20-30 minutes, I was neither in the mood nor in the strength to do anything else. There was a feeling that someone had sucked the life out of me, and it took three hours for this effect to go away.
When we talked later, the same thing happened. She was so pessimistic that her negative energy seemed to pass on to me after the conversation, and even left an unpleasant aftertaste in my mouth. And you know, it bothered me a lot. I would gladly refuse to communicate with her, if I could.
Then one day I decided that I needed to develop a plan of action - how to deal with negative people. After all, she is not the only person I will meet in my life. I thought, “For every negative person I meet now, there will be thousands of those I might meet one day. If I learn to cope with it, I can cope with everyone else. ”
With that in mind, I brainstormed the best way to deal with negative people.
In the end, I found a few key tricks to do this effectively. They can be very helpful in building good relationships with such people. And although now I am more likely to deal with positive people, these steps come to the rescue when I sometimes meet negative people.
If you have such a negative person in your life right now, you don't have to suffer from him. You are not alone in your problem - I have come across negative people often and have learned to cope with them. Let them try to put you down - you can choose how to react and what to do.
So, 7 tricks to help you deal with negative people.
Technique 1. Don't let yourself be drawn into negativity
One thing I've noticed is that negative people tend to focus on the bad things and ignore the good ones. They exaggerate the problems they face, and therefore their situation seems much worse than it really is.
The first time you interact with a negative person, listen carefully and offer help if needed. Be supportive - let him / her know that he / she is not alone. However, make a note somewhere. If a person continues to complain about the same problem even after several discussions, this is a sign that you need to free yourself.
First, try changing the subject. If he (she) goes into a negative tailspin, let him (her) continue, but don't get caught up in the negative. Give simple answers like "Yes, I see," or "Aha." When he or she responds positively, respond in the affirmative and enthusiastic. If you do this often enough, he or she will soon understand what is happening and become more positive in communication.
Technique # 2. Use groups
Dealing with a negative person can be very exhausting. When I spoke to my negative colleague, I was completely exhausted for several hours, although the conversation itself lasted only 20-30 minutes. This was because I was taking on all of her negativity.
To solve this problem, have someone else next to you when you talk to the negative person. In fact, the more people the better. Then the negative energy will be shared between you and other people, and you do not have to carry its weight alone.
An additional plus from the fact that someone else will be there - other people help to identify different sides of the individual. When others are around, they can help open up the other, positive side of the negative person. I've experienced this before, and it helped me see the “negative” person in a more positive light.
Technique # 3. Objective comments
Negative people can be quite critical at times. They periodically release comments that can be very offensive, especially when directed at you.
For example, I had a friend who was very tactless. She liked to issue various disparaging and critical comments. At first I was worried about her words, wondering why she is so critical every time she speaks. I also thought maybe something was wrong with me - maybe I was not good enough. However, when I watched her interact with our mutual friends, I realized that she behaved the same way with them. Her comments were not personal attacks - they were her usual behavior.
Realize that the negative person usually doesn't want to hurt you - he or she is simply trapped in his or her own negativity. Learn to deal with negative comments. Objectify them. Rather than taking his or her words personally, personally, consider them as another point of view. Peel off the husks and see if you can benefit or learn from what is said.
Technique # 4. Switch to nicer topics
Some negative people get turned on by certain topics. For example, one friend becomes a “victim of circumstance” whenever it comes to work. No matter what I say, he will keep complaining about a job that is just awful and won't be able to stop.
If a person is deeply rooted in their negativity, in their problems, the solution may be to change the topic. Start a new mood-boosting topic. Simple things like movies, daytime events, mutual friends, hobbies, happy news can make the conversation much easier. Support him in areas in which the person is experiencing positive emotions.
Reception number 5. Choose carefully with whom you spend your time
As Jim Rohn put it, "You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with." This quote means that the people you spend time with have a huge impact on the kind of person you become.
I think this is very true. Think about the time you spend with negative people - do you feel good or bad after that? It's the same with positive people. - How do you feel after spending time with them?
Whenever I spend time with negative people, I feel heavy afterwards, I get a bad aftertaste. When I meet positive people, I feel a surge of optimism and energy. This effect remains after communication. As you spend more time with negative people, you gradually become negative too. It may be temporary at first, but over time, the effect will begin to take root in you.
If you feel that certain people in your life are negative, be aware of how much time you spend with them. I suggest limiting the duration - it might help. For example, if they want to chat with you, but you don't like their company, learn to say no. If it's a meeting or a phone call, set a limit on how long it will last. Stick to the topic of the discussion, and do not let it last longer than a certain amount of time.
Technique # 6: Identify Areas Where You Can Make Positive Change
Negative people are negative because they lack love, positivity, and warmth. They often behave in such a way as to create a barrier that will protect them from the world.
One of better ways help them - bring positiveness into their lives. Think about what is bothering the person right now and think about how you can help him or her. It doesn't have to be overly complicated, and you definitely shouldn't be doing it if you don't want to. The key is to be sincere in wanting to help, and to show him or her a different perspective on life.
Some time ago, I had a friend who didn't like her job. She didn't like the environment and corporate culture. There was a vacancy in my (already former) workplace, so I offered her this opportunity. She eventually got the job, has been doing it for 3 years now, and is doing it excellently.
Today she leads a much happier, more active and optimistic life. She's definitely more positive than she was a few years ago. While I am not yet betting that she will be completely happy with her career, I do feel the satisfaction that I helped a little at the right time. In addition, there is always something you can do to help someone else - look around and help what you can. A little action on your part can make a big difference in your relationship.
Reception number 7. Stop communicating with them
If all else fails, limit contact with these people or even completely remove them from your life.
Instead of spending your time with negative people, concentrate better on positive people. In the past, I have spent a lot of time with negative people trying to help them. It took a lot of my energy and was often completely useless. I have revised my methods. Now I prefer to work with positive friends and business partners. It turned out to be both nicer and more useful.
Remember that you are building your life and it is up to you how you want it to be. If negative people make you feel bad, work on it using the 7 steps outlined below. By doing the right thing, you can make a difference in your relationship.
March 8, 2010 was a holiday for most of our citizens. However, for the Balkars (the Turkic-speaking people inhabiting Kabardino-Balkaria) this day had (and will have) a different meaning. On this day, Balkar public organizations celebrated the 66th anniversary of the Stalinist deportation.
Today's discussions about the Russian Caucasus tend to be limited to the eastern part of this troubled region. The focus is primarily on Ingushetia, Chechnya and Dagestan. There are good reasons for this information bias. Most of the reports of terrorist acts, sabotage, attacks on military personnel, police officers, civilians, human rights violations come from the three republics of the eastern Caucasus. Meanwhile, the problems of the western part of the North Caucasus region, although they are mostly in a latent form, are no less important.
The former head of the Islamic Center of Kabardino-Balkaria, who underwent a difficult evolution from a moderate figure of the Islamic revival (who sought to establish a dialogue with official structures, that is, with the secular republican authorities and the Spiritual Administration of Muslims) to the creator of the Salafi Jamaat and "Mujahid", was suspected by law enforcement agencies of organizing an attack on Nalchik in October 2005. Thus, the next "liquidation" of "one of the ideologues of Wahhabism" (as Mukozhev is named in the news feeds reproducing the language of the Russian special services) makes us again turn to the analysis of the real challenges and threats facing the Russian Federation in the North Caucasus.
On March 8, 1944, during a two-hour operation, more than 37 thousand representatives of the Balkar people were deported. Of the total number of people subjected to deportation, children accounted for 52%, women - 30%, and invalids of the Great Patriotic War- eighteen%. And although in 1957 the Balkars were given the opportunity to return to their homeland, this problem still remains the political dead man who suffers from the living.
This year, at the rally on March 8, held in Nalchik, the tone was set by the Council of Elders of the Balkar People (SSBN) and the Balkaria organization. During the mass action, several problematic points were considered, concerning both the history and the current situation of the Balkars. From the point of view of the organizers of the rally, the territorial rehabilitation of the Balkar people has not yet been completed. At the same time, the republican authorities were especially criticized for innovations in the field of local self-government. First of all, they talked about the transfer of pasture lands to the status of inter-settlement territories (territories outside the boundaries of settlements, directly part of the municipal district). Activists of the Balkar movement demanded the transfer of these lands to the disposal of rural settlements in order not to create obstacles for the traditional economic activity of the Balkars, animal husbandry.
The resolution of the March rally contained both local proposals (such as holding a meeting with the Presidential Plenipotentiary in the North Caucasus District (NCFD) Alexander Khloponin to clarify the accumulated problems), and more ambitious (the introduction of real local self-government, which could stop the practice of introducing inter-settlement territories ). In this regard, the question arises as to how serious a problem is the Balkar issue for Kabardino-Balkaria in particular and for the entire North Caucasus in general.
It is not the first time that the Balkar problem has been raised in Kabardino-Balkaria (KBR) in the post-Soviet period. During all this time, organizations, leaders, who claimed to be the spokesmen of the will of the Balkar ethnos, changed. Radicals passed into the category of moderate figures, and yesterday's representatives of the authorities moved to positions of harsh criticism of the republican bureaucracy. In 1991-1992, the republic even stood on the verge of division along ethnic lines (into Kabarda and Balkaria). At the same time, the main political slogan of the Balkar movement was voiced, which is relevant to this day. We are talking about the completion of the territorial rehabilitation of the Balkars. The origins of this problem, like many other North Caucasian pain points, one must look for in the Stalinist deportations and territorial and administrative perturbations that accompanied them. After the tragic events of March 1944, the regional “cutting” within the territory of the present KBR was changed, and after the repatriation of the Balkars, it did not exactly reproduce the former administrative boundaries.
In 1996, activists of the Balkar movement proclaimed the creation of a separate republic within the Russian Federation and elected the State Council of Balkaria headed by former General Sufyan Beppaev. Beppaev subsequently publicly repented of his actions, and then was claimed by the republican authorities as the chairman of the commission for the rehabilitation of victims of political repression. From that moment until the fall of 2005, the Balkar issue, it would seem, was introduced into a certain framework. However, the change of republican power after the death of the first president of the KBR Valery Kokov and the activation of the Islamist radical underground (the most vivid example of this is the events in Nalchik in October 2005) again actualized the problem, which seemed, if not resolved, then at least stopped. In May 2006, the Congress of a new organization was held, claiming to express the interests of the entire Balkar people. It was the Council of Elders of the Balkar People, mentioned at the beginning of the article. The leaders of this structure attacked Sufyan Beppaev for his compromise with the republican authorities and passivity.
The last days were darkened by tragic events in the North Caucasus. This time, excesses (explosions, attacks by militants) occurred almost simultaneously in three republics of the eastern part of the Caucasus region (Chechnya, Ingushetia and Dagestan). In this regard, there is a great temptation to bring these phenomena and events under any one standard. They say the North Caucasus has woken up again. As if he had slept before! As if there were no military clashes between security officials and militants in the mountainous part of Chechnya after the abolition of the CTO regime! As if in Dagestan or Ingushetia, as if by magic, various excesses had stopped! A stable Caucasus has simply become an image demanded by the authorities.
The thesis about the incompleteness of rehabilitation was voiced again, as in the early to mid-1990s. Since that time, the SSBN has become the main troublemaker in the KBR. Petitions to federal authorities, rallies, resolutions began to be initiated by the leaders of the PRSP with kaleidoscopic speed. In addition to petitions and appeals, the SSBN initiated numerous mass actions. In the context of the problem of incomplete rehabilitation, the PRBN activists focused on such acute problems for the republic as the land issue (in general, an acute problem for the entire North Caucasus), as well as reforms of local self-government (which in the North Caucasus region as a whole and in the KBR in particular are not properly taken into account). local specifics).
Note that the active position of the PRBN on the land issue or local self-government pushed the republican authorities to develop conciliation procedures. And although the leaders of the Council of Elders themselves are not enthusiastic about the work of the conciliation commissions, one cannot fail to see their influence, since the active public discussion of the problems of inter-settlement territories or the dispute over pastures made the authorities pay attention to acute problems and make certain adjustments. It should be noted that the PRBN (even if there is a selfish motivation of its leaders in this) reveals the facts of corruption in the regional government. Council leaders criticize ethnocratic motives in the actions of the authorities, and also draw attention to the situation of Russians in the republic. This is important, even if there is a vested interest in the Council elite. The last consideration in this series (in order, not in importance). PRBN tries to appeal to the Russian federal authorities as an arbiter and defender. He appeals not to the Council of Europe (or to PACE), but to the presidential administration, to the Constitutional Court of the Russian Federation, to the presidential plenipotentiary, motivating his actions with Russian law. In this regard, it is not possible to talk about a new separatist threat.
Meanwhile, the activities of the PRBN should not create a blissful picture. First, because the Council actually privatized the right to speak on behalf of the entire Balkar people. But ethnos cannot be considered legal entity... In addition, in addition to the SSBN, there are other public organizations of the Balkars in the republic, which also have the right to speak on behalf of this ethnic group. Secondly, the PRS is trying to distance itself from different kinds conciliation commissions.
Democracy (about which the leaders of the PRBN talk a lot and often) is, first of all, a procedure of complex coordination of interests, negotiations and dialogue. It is difficult to hear the arguments of opponents in a monologue. Third, the facts of discrimination against Balkars in the republic are extremely overestimated by the activists of the Council. There is no doubt that the republican authorities are doing certain "Kabardian imbalances". But this does not mean the complete exclusion of the Balkars from the social and political processes in the republic. Balkars are even present in the Federal Assembly of the Russian Federation (academician Mikhail Zalikhanov). In any case, the constant emphasis on the "fifth point" may work not on the search for a compromise, but on ethnic isolation, which is unlikely to meet the interests of all residents of the KBR, regardless of their ethnicity.
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