The influence of a person on the psyche of another person. Methods of influence. Now or never, you will never learn it. Examples of negative psychological techniques

How to influence a person, make him act differently, change his behavior, feelings, thoughts? Such manipulations can be carried out on a subconscious level. To do this, you need to know some techniques of psychology that everyone can use. For everything to work out, you need to delve into some subtleties.

Not only psychologists, but also ordinary people can influence people, this does not even require magic. When communicating with a person, it is important to pay attention to the intonation with which words are pronounced. It is the tone that can work wonders. Since ancient times, when sorcerers uttered a conspiracy, they changed the speed of speech, focused on individual words.

You might think that magic, various witchcraft rituals are something mystical. Even a small amount of knowledge of psychological science helps some people to influence others without much effort. Often magic is based on the process of laying hidden commands into the subconscious of the subject, because of this, the illusion is created that the person independently changed his own life, fate, or that this is the work of the magician.

You don't need to have superpowers to influence a person. It is enough to know a little theory and skillfully apply it in practice. During communication, certain phrases are specially used to manipulate a person. They can be distinguished by gestures or intonation. The subject with whom the conversation is being conducted may not even notice that his interlocutor uses some tricks. And at this time, a certain phrase had already been deposited in his subconscious.

For example, if you need to reassure a friend, you can say: “My colleague’s house was searched yesterday, but at the same time he was in a state of complete calm and confidence.” It is the end of the sentence that is distinguished intonation. The conversation is about a colleague. At a subconscious level, words about how to behave are remembered.

Learning the Hidden Influence

An important condition for hidden commands that can change a person's life is the level of their perception. The two levels are not allowed to be confused in terms of meaning. If this rule is not adhered to, then the command will not affect the subconscious of a person, but will be perceived consciously.

If you say: "Now let's relax, enjoy life", a positive result will not be achieved. The call will be clear to others, but psychologically it is wrong, because it will not reach the subconscious level. It will be possible to cheer up upset or tired people, to influence the human psyche with the help of a story. It suffices to summarize the sentences with hidden commands. It may talk about how recently friends spent time in a club, relaxed, and the evening was just beginning from this. Thanks to this technique, the mood in the circle of gathered friends will quickly rise.

Intonation influence on a person is effective in highlighting individual, necessary phrases. Auxiliary words that serve as a frame for key words are pronounced in a normal tone.

Variety of methods

The psychology of the impact on a person is different. The applied methods can be non-mandatory and imperative, disciplinary. Often it is possible to change the fate of a person thanks to beliefs. With their help, the impact is made on consciousness. For example, explaining to the child why he should study in higher educational institution, you can ensure that the child graduates from the university, after which he will become a successful scientist, businessman, politician, etc.

Influence through persuasion allows you to achieve what you want. To do this, it is enough to correctly explain, highlight the essence of the issue or problem, recall the causes and consequences. The necessary decision by a person, after the correct conviction, seems to be made independently, since he understands its significance.

You can influence a person at a distance or directly in a conversation with him through praise. This is the type of positive impact that should be applied to all people. A person's life will become happier and more pleasant if his achievements in his career, studies, and sports are noted.

It will be possible to influence others, change their thoughts and behavior through a psychological technique in the form of suggestion. To do this, use different means (speech and not only). Due to suggestions, it is easy to change the fate of a person, since the suggested information takes the form of an internal attitude. It can be used to stimulate and guide a person in the process of forming his intentions. Among psychologists, various forms are used that change the subconscious of a person. This is the impact of the emotional-volitional type, persuasion and pressure.

Thoughts and consciousness can be affected by coercion. Such an influence is used when other methods do not work or there is no time to use them. Coercion is associated with the expressed demand for the adoption of some behavioral standard, so one can force to agree with the decision or existing point vision. With the help of coercion, sometimes it is possible to avoid the development of a conflict, for example, to force this moment some action.

If we consider the ways of disciplinary influence on persons, reprimands, warnings, punishments are popular. Warnings have soft shape, signaling more serious consequences that will apply in the future (if necessary). Reprimands are often used by managers for their employees. Punishment is the deprivation of a person of something important, for example, some object.

The power of suggestion

Faced with problems in the family, in school, at work, people often try to change their better side the fate of man. Many are trying to turn to experienced people who, using a conspiracy, will force, for example, a drinking husband to give up a bad habit, return to his wife, etc.

In fact, such methods really help in most cases. The plot is usually spoken aloud. The presence of the patient is not necessary, but he often also has to perform some actions (drink a special herbal infusion or something else).

In fact, a conspiracy is something close to prayer. You can also say certain words to the person himself in order to help himself in finding a job, getting a higher position, a successful marriage, etc. All spoken words or thoughts that are not spoken aloud must be sincere, you must believe in your own actions.

In practice, in order to have a positive impact on fate, to change life for the better, some phrases should be spoken daily. They have a positive effect on the mind, attract good luck and prosperity. These include the following proposals:

I'm sure something wonderful will happen today.
I am confident in the magnificent outcome of every situation in life.
Every day I feel better and better (it will affect the fate of a person and make him healthier).
May today be a good day.

Such attitudes have incredible power, they set the subject up for positive thoughts.

The impact on human behavior, whether it be a conspiracy or any psychological tricks, may be invisible to the subject. It is not difficult to master the rules of influencing the subconscious of people around you, especially if you fix them in practice. They should be used only for good purposes, when trying to change human life for the better.

20 Easy Ways to Influence

Interest

Any person is looking for personal gain in different situations. When you once again explain your position, be sure to tell the listener what he can find for himself.

To find a compromise

It's impossible to just zazombirovat a person. If you want to influence someone, learn to negotiate and, if necessary, compromise.

Communicate

Of course, communication is the main key to influence. The more you develop your communication skills, the more people will support your opinion.

Become an inspiration

In order to convince other people of something, you yourself need to radiate cheerful enthusiasm.

hypnotize

Of course, it is necessary to hypnotize the interlocutor not in the literal sense of the word. This is done with charm. It should not be forgotten that most people are more willing to agree with those who are respected and loved.

Hidden psychological impact on a communication partner in order to achieve beneficial behavior from him is called manipulation. In communication with their own kind, without realizing it, people often use manipulative methods, especially when they want to achieve something from another person. Since the concept of "manipulation" is understood differently by everyone, let's consider what manipulation is.

As mentioned above, manipulation is a hidden psychological impact. In conclusion, I will say that the topic of manipulation in communication, of course, is not exhausted by this publication and will be continued. To illustrate the concept of manipulation, we will give an example. In this case, this is an example of manipulation on a person's need to look beautiful in the eyes of the object of sighing. You are sitting in a summer cafe with the girl you are courting and have small talk with her about life and love. And then a pretty teenage girl (or no less pretty grandmother) comes up to you with a bunch of flowers and offers you to buy them. What do you think - is this the usual slightly intrusive offer to buy or manipulation? Answer: manipulation. Why? Because there is a hidden calculation that it will be embarrassing for you to refuse to buy flowers for this girl (and for whom else!?) in front of the girl herself. After all, she will think that you feel sorry for her flowers, and you will feel like a miser and a fool for an hour. Therefore, it is often easier for a man to pay off his awkwardness and not spoil the evening. This is the calculation.

Thus, the difference between manipulation and other methods of influence lies in the fact that during manipulation, in addition to an explicit and open motive (trade offer), there is a hidden motive, calculation, subtext (it will be embarrassing for him to look stingy).

An example of manipulation in trading. In a store, a customer chooses a product, hesitantly considering either cheaper or more expensive items.
Salesman:- This model is better, but it is probably too expensive for you.
Customer:- Here I'll take it.

At the external level, the seller stated some truthful facts: the high quality of the item and the low financial capabilities of the buyer. The hidden meaning of this manipulation is the calculation of the desire of the buyer at least in front of the seller (and therefore, to some extent in front of himself) to look respectable. The buyer took an expensive thing, stroking his pride and wiping (as it seems to him) the nose of the seller.

There are not only single one-time manipulative actions, but also whole long manipulative games. I will give an example of a manipulative game from the practice of policemen and investigators. Now you will have to imagine yourself being detained at the police station. Here one of effective ways to obtain evidence from the detainee (or money for freedom), is a game of "good and evil cop." First, the “evil” investigator talks to the detainee - speaking in a raised tone, he threatens and draws gloomy pictures of your future stay within the walls of law enforcement agencies. After you are pretty frightened, a “good” investigator intervenes in the case, who reproaches the “evil” for the intemperance, sympathizes with the detainee, and offers to solve the case in a good, kind way. Aggressive and friendly communication styles alternate several times until the detainee matures. What is the manipulative meaning of such a game? In the fact that you are led to the idea that it is better to accept the lesser of the evils, i.e. "good" policeman and make an alliance with him.

Such a manipulative game creates the feeling that you can get off with a little blood, agreeing with a good and polite policeman, until the evil and cruel one is activated again. As a result, the detainee gives evidence or pays off. What is required of him. By the way, one policeman can combine both of these roles - the meaning of the game remains the same.

The benefits of manipulation can be not only material, but also psychological: increased attention significant people, the acquisition of higher authority and respect, etc.

For example, sparkling jokes about other people usually have just such a hidden meaning, hiding behind an external desire to simply amuse and entertain comrades. A person who makes jokes about others, as a rule, sees no other opportunity to gain credibility in the company and uses such a method that has been knurled for himself. The fact that in doing so he offends others, reduces their authority, he either does not realize or neglects this insignificant fact. Thus, jokes about other people are also manipulative.

It begs the question. How to evaluate the phenomenon of manipulation: with a plus sign or with a minus sign? Is this good or bad? Use it in life or eradicate? An answer begs. If I manipulate, it's good; if I'm manipulated, it's bad. Joke. In fact, manipulation is neither good nor bad. In general, this phenomenon is neutral. At its core, manipulation is a tool that can be used for various purposes.

Depending on which hands it is in. Just like a knife can serve as both a tool for surgical operations and a murder weapon. If you are faced with manipulation, then to assess a specific situation, I suggest relying on two criteria.

First. What is the motive and desired result of the author of the manipulation? If this is not only a benefit to yourself, but also a desire for good for you, then this deserves, if not a positive assessment, then at least indulgence. For example, parents often manipulate their children by hook or by crook forcing them to go to bed on time, do exercises, go to school, etc. They do this not only for themselves, but also for the benefit of their child in the future, which is not yet able to appreciate this concern.

Second. It happens that the hidden motive of manipulation is not particularly hidden. And then the application object of this manipulation has a true choice, not an imposed one. The American writer and psychotherapist E. Berne gives the following example of a game of flirting: Cowboy: Would you like to see the stable? Girl: Ah, I love stables since childhood! Although we are talking about the stables (and we would talk about the theater), both understand the inner meaning of the game. And the girl, choosing an excursion to the stable, guesses the content of this excursion. And since she has this understanding, and no one forced her to respond to flirting, it means that she consciously entered into this game, and, therefore, there is nothing bad here.

If you look closely, you and I live in a world of manipulations, and you should not be afraid of them, but you should be able to understand them well and turn knowledge about them to the benefit of yourself and other people. All this is also one of the halves of the game called "life" and this game can also be entertaining.

How can you neutralize the effect of manipulation, if your plans do not include "behaving" on it?

First. Understand, see, realize the hidden motive of communication in your partner. This is possible if you are attentive, have psychological experience and trust your intuition. By micro-movements of the eyes, minimal facial expressions, intonations of the voice, gestures and subtle movements of the body, a psychologically competent person can guess the presence of falsity in the actions and speech of a person. Simply put, whether he is lying or not. If you guess that maybe not everything is clean, then the next step is to understand what he really wants. To do this, put yourself in his place - what would you do, how would you behave, what ideas would you try to implement? The fact is that we are all very similar (no matter how much you want to believe in your own uniqueness) and what you come up with, most likely, he also came up with. "Scroll" the options and insight may visit you. I won’t say that getting into the mind of another person is so easy, but life in general is not an easy thing.

Second. If manipulation presupposes the presence of an ulterior motive and this is its main weapon, then the neutralization of the weapon will be lighting, clarifying the ulterior motive in your communication. Figuratively speaking, "highlighting with a lantern" deprives the manipulation of its hidden meaning. What makes her a manipulation. For example, if a person in public directs his humor at you, ridicules you or your values, and you guessed in whose eyes he wants to rise, you can calmly say to him: "I understand that you really want to seem witty in the eyes of Marina - we already appreciated your humor, it's great, thank you."

When the meaning is revealed - there is nothing to cover, the game loses its continuation and meaning. However, if you have guessed the content of the manipulative game that is being played with you, it is not necessary to immediately stop it. Indeed, in this case you have trump cards in your hands: the opponent does not yet know that you have already guessed the hidden meaning. You can use this trump card as hockey players use the numerical advantage.

Consider a real situation from real life. Surely you have ever been approached on the street by people with a "gift" from the company. Very cheerful, starting with the words "Hello!", they solemnly announce that in honor of the 500th anniversary of their generous company, you are getting a beautiful set for free in this bag, along with the bag itself. And they give it to you! A few more seconds of optimism and charm, and now you are already beginning to believe in this miracle. But it turns out that in order for you to finally take ownership of all the rich contents of this bag, you need a mere trifle. Pay for just one thing from this wealth. There are some miserable (compared to the contents) several hundred rubles. For those who have not guessed - then, of course, it turns out that the cost of the goods is much lower than this "pathetic" amount. But it will be later!

So here's one of mine scientist life comrade did the following trick. At the words “You are getting this as a gift,” he accepted the bag, but did not stand, as it should be according to the script, breathing excitedly, but with the words “Thank you!” briskly headed into the crowd on the way to the subway. After a couple of seconds that it took the swindler to come to his senses, it was already too late to catch up with the happy owner of the gift from the company. The most interesting thing is that there is nothing to condemn him for - a gift, rich firms have their own quirks and it is inconvenient and even impolite to refuse a gift ... The key word here is “hidden”. In manipulation, the external meaning of words, appeals or actions in relation to another person does not coincide with the internal meaning. The external meaning of words, as a rule, is innocent, not containing any infringement of the needs of another person, but the internal meaning carries the content that leads this person to what the author of the manipulation wants from him. It turns out that the person being manipulated does what his communication partner needs, as if choosing it himself. In fact, he was gently led to this choice, and this choice of his is not free and unconscious.

At present, knowledge of the psychological patterns that determine the attitudes and actions of people is acquiring ever deeper and more comprehensive significance; competent use of methods of psychological influences carried out in various forms through various means and methods. Each of these types of influences has its own specifics and capabilities Parfenova Z.A. Methods of psychological influence: Tutorial. - Novosibirsk: SibAGS, 2004. - p.47 ..

Logical-semantic analysis-synthesis of many psychological methods of influencing a person made it possible to single out four main, basic methods and present them as a system of methods.

In the figure, psychological attack is the opposite of programming, manipulation is the opposite of pressure. Related combinations are possible: attack + pressure, pressure + programming, programming + manipulation, manipulation + attack. Paradoxical inclusions are possible: attack with programming elements, programming with attack elements; pressure with manipulation elements, manipulation with pressure elements.

Psychological attack is a method of varied, changeable; fast, active; verbose, polysemantic; mobile, pantomimic impact on the human psyche in order to turn off logical thinking: producing either an irresistible impression, or introducing into a state of confusion, followed by prompting a person to the desired reaction. psychological impact manipulation

Psychological programming is a method of monotonous, constant; precise, persistent; unambiguous, unique; immobile, inert influence on the human psyche in order to create algorithms for his intellect and form stereotypes of behavior.

Psychological manipulation is a dual, compositional method; dexterous, decisive; ambiguous, ambiguous; balanced, balanced impact on the human psyche in order to put him in an uncomfortable position of the necessary choice of his behavior between two alternatives (between good and bad, good and better, bad and worse, good and neutral, bad and neutral).

Psychological pressure is a representative, impressive method; strong, intense; pointing, affirmative; sustainable, stable impact on the human psyche in order to force him to act and place him on the lower rung of the social hierarchy.

Each type of psychological influence has its own goals and patterns. Psychologists distinguish the following types of psychological influences: persuasion; suggestion (suggestion); infection; imitation; manipulation; request; ignoring; example etc.

Let's consider some of them.

Persuasion is a logically reasoned impact on the rational sphere of people's consciousness. The purpose of persuasion is to create, strengthen or change the views, opinions, assessments, attitudes of the object of influence so that the latter accepts the point of view of the persuader, follows it in his activities and behavior.

An important feature of persuasion is that the degree of persuasive influence largely depends on the degree of interest in this person to whom this influence is directed. That is, it is possible to convince a person of something only if he strives to understand and comprehend the information addressed to him, to weigh and evaluate the correspondence of the arguments to the conclusions, and the conclusions to his life experience, and agree with them if they are sufficient or obvious.

Using the method of persuasion, psychologists proceed from the fact that persuasion is primarily focused on the intellectual and cognitive sphere of the human psyche. Its essence is to, with the help of logical arguments, first achieve an inner consent in a person, and then, on this basis, form and consolidate new attitudes that correspond to the goal.

Suggestion (suggestion) is a conscious, unreasoned impact on a person or a group of people, which aims to change their state, attitude to something and predisposition to certain actions Parfenova Z.A. Methods of psychological influence: Textbook. - Novosibirsk: SibAGS, 2004. - p.41. Argumentation here is often replaced by a statement of what is suggested.

The most important feature of suggestion, unlike persuasion, is its focus not on the logic and mind of a person, not on his ability to think and reason, but on the readiness to receive an order, an instruction for action. That is why suggestion does not need a system of logical interconnected evidence and a deep understanding of the meaning of the information being communicated Dontsov A.I. Psychology of the team. - M.: INFRA-M, 2002. - p. 146. .

Infection is a socio-psychological mechanism of influence, manifested in the unconscious susceptibility of people (especially as part of a group) to emotional influence in conditions of direct contact.

Infection is carried out through the transfer of psychological mood, through the intensity of feelings and passions. Contagiousness effect external influence one person to another is determined not only by the strength of his emotional charge, but also by the very fact of direct contact between those communicating.

Imitation is a way of assimilating the traditions of society, a mechanism for consciously or unconsciously reproducing the experience of actions and deeds of another person (the subject of psychological influence), in particular, his movements, manners, actions, behavior, etc.

An example is the purposeful and planned impact on the consciousness and behavior of people by a system of positive role models, designed to serve them as the basis for the formation of the ideal of communicative behavior, as a stimulus and means of social self-development.

The effectiveness of an example is determined by its social value. In the example, social experience, the results of the activities and behavior of other people are fixed. Each example has a certain content, social significance. An example develops into self-action as a result of a person's assimilation of a morally and aesthetically attractive ideal, model.

An example has both a stable long-term effect and a momentary one that coordinates a person's behavior in a particular life situation. The attitude of people to an example reveals the degree of development of their desire for a conscious ideal or indicates a passion for dubious models in thoughtless imitation.

According to the type of impact on human consciousness, examples can be divided into two large groups:

Examples of direct influence (personal example of the subject of influence, a positive example of people with whom there is constant contact).

Examples of indirect influence (examples from the life and work of prominent people, from history, from literature and art).

Manipulation is a hidden motivation from the addressee to experience certain states, change attitudes towards something, make decisions and perform actions necessary to achieve the initiator's own goals. At the same time, it is important for the manipulator that the addressee considers these thoughts, feelings, decisions and actions to be his own, and not “induced” from the outside, and to recognize himself as responsible for them Parfenova Z.A. Methods of psychological influence: Textbook. - Novosibirsk: SibAGS, 2004. - p.44 ..

Encouragement - outwardly active stimulation, stimulating a person to positive, initiative, creative activity. It is carried out with the help of public recognition of the successes of people, rewarding, satisfaction of their spiritual and material needs.

Encouragement excites positive emotions, generates optimistic moods and a healthy socio-psychological climate, develops internal creative forces people, their positive life position.

The effectiveness of encouraging people largely depends on the subject of psychological influence. He evaluates the results of their activities and behavior, approves or condemns certain actions and actions. Expressing satisfaction with the work of people or the whole group, praise, a call to follow the example of the best - all these are various encouragement techniques that are often used. All of them require the subject of psychological impact to have the ability to master the methodology of encouragement, actively apply it in their activities. social Psychology. / Ed. Markova V.D. - M.: Progress, 2004. - p.245. .

Means of encouragement, with the moral maturation of a person, develop from predominantly material incentives to predominantly moral ones. The reaction to encouragement provides those who exercise psychological influence with information about the state of self-esteem and ambition of people, their attitude to work, to rewards, as well as about the true motives of the activity and the direction of the individual.

We can distinguish the main conditions for the effectiveness of promotion:

Validity and fairness of incentives.

Encouragement mainly for the leading type of activity.

Promptness of encouragement.

Variety of encouragement.

Gradual increase in the importance of encouragement.

Encouragement publicity.

Request - an appeal to the addressee with a call to satisfy the needs or desires of the initiator of the impact (clear and polite wording, showing respect for the right of the addressee to refuse the request if its implementation is inconvenient for him or contrary to his own goals).

Coercion - the requirement to comply with the initiator's orders, backed up by open or implied threats (the announcement of rigidly defined deadlines or methods for performing work without any explanation).

Destructive criticism - subjectively, coercion is experienced: by the initiator - as his own pressure, by the addressee - as pressure on him from the initiator or circumstances (expressing disparaging or offensive judgments about a person’s personality or rude aggressive condemnation, ridicule of his deeds and actions.) The destructiveness of such criticism lies in that it does not allow a person to "save face", diverts his strength to fight the negative emotions that have arisen, takes away his faith in himself (the imposition of non-negotiable prohibitions and restrictions, intimidation with possible consequences).

Ignoring - deliberate inattention, absent-mindedness towards the partner, his statements and actions. Most often it is perceived as a sign of neglect and disrespect, however, in some cases, ignoring acts as a tactful form of forgiveness for tactlessness or awkwardness committed by the partner (demonstratively skipping the words of the partner "by the ears" , non-verbal behavior indicating that the presence of a partner is not noticed, silence and an absent look in response to a question).

Manipulation is a hidden motivation from the addressee to experience certain states, change attitudes towards something, make decisions and perform actions necessary to achieve the initiator's own goals. At the same time, it is important for the manipulator that the addressee considers these thoughts, feelings, decisions and actions to be his own, and not "induced" from the outside, and recognizes himself as responsible for them (violation of personal space, expressed in too close approach or even touch, sharp acceleration or, on the contrary, slowing down the pace of the conversation, misleading, disguised as insignificant and random statements of slander and slander).

The effectiveness of influence is largely determined by how skillfully the initiator of the appropriate means - both verbal and non-verbal.

We have considered the main types of psychological impact, but this does not mean that there are no other types. In fact, there are many of them and it becomes even more with the development of modern society and science.

Incredible Facts

Before starting, it is worth noting that none of the methods listed below fall under what can be called the "dark art of influencing" people. Everything that can harm a person or hurt his dignity is not given here.

These are ways to win friends and influence people through psychology without making anyone feel bad.

Psychological tricks

10. Ask for a favor

Trick: Ask someone for a favor for you (a technique known as the Benjamin Franklin effect).

Legend has it that Benjamin Franklin once wanted to win over a man who didn't love him. He asked the man to lend him a rare book, and when he received it, he thanked him very graciously.

As a result, a man who did not particularly want to even talk to Franklin became friends with him. In Franklin's words: "He who once did you a good deed will be more disposed to do something good for you again than one to whom you yourself owe."

The scientists set out to test this theory, and eventually found that those people whom the researcher asked for a personal favor were much more supportive of the specialist compared to other groups of people.

Impact on human behavior

9. Aim High

Trick: Always ask for more than you initially need, and then lower the bar.

This technique is sometimes referred to as the "door-to-face approach". You are approaching a person with a really overpriced request, which he is likely to refuse.

After that, you come back with a request "rank below", namely with what you really need from this person.

This trick may seem counterintuitive to you, but the idea is that the person will feel bad after they refuse you. However, he will explain this to himself as the unreasonableness of the request.

So the next time you approach him with a real need, he will feel obligated to help you.

Scientists, after testing this principle in practice, came to the conclusion that it actually works, because a person who is first addressed with a very "big" request, and then returned to him and asked for a small one, feels that he can help you he should.

The influence of a name on a person

8. Name names

Trick: use the person's name or title as appropriate.

He emphasizes that the name of a person in any language is the sweetest combination of sounds for him. Carnegie says that the name is the main component of human identity, therefore, when we hear it, we once again receive confirmation of our significance.

That is why we feel more positive towards a person who confirms our importance in the world.

However, the use of a position or other form of address in a speech can also have a strong impact. The idea is that if you behave like a certain type of person, then you will become that person. This is somewhat like a prophecy.

To use this technique to influence other people, you can refer to them as you would like them to be. As a result, they will begin to think of themselves in this way.

It's very simple, if you want to get close to a certain person, then call him "friend", "comrade" more often. Or, referring to someone you would like to work for, you can call him "boss". But keep in mind that sometimes it can go sideways for you.

The influence of words on a person

7. Flatter

Cunning: Flattery can get you where you need to be.

This may seem obvious at first glance, but there are some important caveats. To begin with, it is worth noting that if flattery is not sincere, then it will most likely do more harm than good.

However, scientists who have studied flattery and people's reactions to it have found some very important things.

Simply put, people are always trying to maintain cognitive balance by trying to organize their thoughts and feelings in a similar way.

Therefore, if you flatter a person whose self-esteem is high, and sincere flattery, he will like you more, because the flattery will coincide with what he thinks of himself.

However, if you flatter someone whose self-esteem suffers, then negative consequences are possible. It is likely that he will treat you worse, because this does not intersect with how he perceives himself.

Of course, this does not mean that a person with low self-esteem should be humiliated.

Ways to influence people

6. Mirror other people's behavior

Trick: Be a mirror image of the other person's behavior.

Mirroring behavior is also known as mimicry, and is something that a certain type of person is inherent in their nature.

People with this skill are called chameleons because they try to blend in with their environment by copying someone else's behavior, mannerisms, and even speech. However, this skill can be used quite consciously and is a great way to get liked.

The researchers studied mimicry and found that those who were copied were very favorable towards the person who copied them.

Also, experts came to another, more interesting conclusion. They found that people who had copycats were much more accepting of people in general, even those who were not involved in the study.

It is likely that the reason for this reaction lies in the following. Having someone who mirrors your behavior confirms your worth. People feel more self-confident, thus they are happier and more attuned towards other people.

Psychology of influence on people

5. Take advantage of fatigue

Trick: Ask for a favor when you see that the person is tired.

When a person is tired, he becomes more receptive to any information, whether it is a simple statement about something or a request. The reason is that when a person gets tired, it happens not only on the physical level, it the mental supply of energy is also depleted.

When you make a request to a tired person, most likely you will not get a definite answer right away, but will hear: "I will do it tomorrow", because he will not want to make any decisions at the moment.

The next day, most likely, the person will actually fulfill your request, because on a subconscious level, most people try to keep their word, so we make sure that what we say matches what we do.

Psychological impact on a person

4. Offer something that a person cannot refuse

Trick: start the conversation with something that the other person cannot refuse, and you will achieve what you need.

This back side door-to-face approach. Instead of starting a conversation with a request, you start with something small. As soon as a person agrees to help you in a small way, or simply agrees to something, you can use "heavy artillery".

Experts tested this theory on marketing approaches. They started by asking people to show their support for rainforest and the environment, which is a very simple request.

Once support has been received, scientists have found that it is now much easier to convince people to buy products that promote this support. However, you should not start with one request and immediately move on to another.

Psychologists have found that it is much more effective to take a break of 1-2 days.

Ways to influence people

3. Keep calm

Cunning: you should not correct a person when he is wrong.

In his famous book, Carnegie also emphasized that one should not tell people they are wrong. This, as a rule, will lead nowhere, and you will simply fall out of favor with this person.

In fact, there is a way to show disagreement while continuing a polite conversation, not telling anyone that he is wrong, but hitting the interlocutor's ego to the core.

The method was invented by Ray Ransberger and Marshall Fritz. The idea is pretty simple: instead of arguing, listen to what the person has to say and then try to understand how they feel and why.

After that, you should explain to the person those points that you share with him, and use this as a starting point for clarifying your position. This will make him more sympathetic towards you and he is more likely to listen to what you have to say without losing face.

The influence of people on each other

2. Repeat the words of your interlocutor

Trick: Paraphrase what the person says and repeat what they said.

This is one of the most amazing ways to influence other people. In this way, you show your interlocutor that you really understand him, capture his feelings and your empathy is sincere.

That is, paraphrasing the words of your interlocutor, you will achieve his location very easily. This phenomenon is known as reflective listening.

Studies have shown that when doctors use this technique, people open up more to them, and their "collaboration" is more fruitful.

It's easy to use while chatting with friends. If you listen to what they have to say and then paraphrase what they said, forming a confirmation question, they will feel very comfortable with you.

You will have a strong friendship, and they will listen more actively to what you have to say, because you managed to show that you care about them.

Methods of influencing people

1. Nod your head

Trick: Nod your head a little during a conversation, especially if you want to ask your interlocutor for something.

Scientists have found that when a person nods while listening to someone, they are more likely to agree with what was said. They also found that if your interlocutor nods, then most of the time you will also nod.

This is quite understandable, because people often unconsciously imitate the behavior of another person, especially one with whom interaction will benefit them. So if you want to add weight to what you're saying, nod regularly as you speak.

The person you're talking to will have a hard time not nodding back, and they'll start to react positively to the information you're presenting without even knowing it.

When a person is interested in how to influence and manage people, many people forget about ethical aspects, freedom of expression of one's own will, as well as possible consequences. Therefore, before proceeding to the description of various psychological characteristics and methods of influence, I would like to note negative sides and issue warnings. So, if you constantly influence a person, inclining him to certain decisions, then not only his volitional function is frustrated, but also the core of the personality itself, which lives opposite to its convictions, is destroyed.

It makes sense to think about how to influence the human psyche with favorable consequences, contributing to its development or improvement of mood. The main influence is not the factual information presented to a person, but the emotions that arise in the process of interaction. Reaction does not happen by itself, there are a lot of factors and as a result, you can say extremely unpleasant things, causing sympathy for yourself. For influence, an intonational palette, verbal signals and certain anchors that exist in the psyche are used.

The information embedded in the subconscious has a strong influence - then the person will not only obey and follow the necessary instructions, but will independently build a well-coordinated line of behavior.

Psychology of influence on people

There are many tricks of psychological perception that help you figure out how to influence other people. There is even no need to use certain tricks and tricks, but you just need to remember the very features of the psyche and edit your behavior or the features of presenting information in time, and you can use random circumstances.

One of the most interesting points about the perception of others is that the presence of flaws and weaknesses that are not critical to social norms and morality make a person more pleasant to others. This allows you to relax yourself and stop striving to achieve perfection in everything - when a living person is nearby, you also want to be alive.

So, if you show fatigue at the end of the working day, you will cause more confidence in the team, and if you come in imperfectly ironed clothes or with paint stains, then they will not doubt the sincerity of your words.

Perfection causes tension and distance, and the presence of small flaws makes you closer to people. From a close and trusting distance, you can afford much more, and the information will not be subjected to harsh criticism.

The second point that allows you to achieve location is addressing by name. A proper name is the sound that a person is used to hearing most often, responding on a behavioral and emotional level.

Addressing by last name, in turn, can make a person tense up - school lessons and comments are immediately recalled, as well as work meetings. The name, on the other hand, is something sacred, and the more often you address a person in this way, the calmer and more trusting it will be next to you, which means that a lot of the information you say will immediately fall into the subconscious. However, you should not overdo it, because the frequent use of the name can cause a backlash of tension and distrust.

The construction of your requests can also be adjusted in relation to the characteristics of a person's perception. Try to avoid direct wording, use interrogative intonations instead. The best option when you yourself give a person a choice of what to do, but at the same time limit him to those options that suit you personally. Those. when you need help with the garden and dry-cleaning items, it's worth asking which of these items a person chooses to do. In this context, the opportunity to refuse is removed in advance, and the number of choices is reduced to the categories you need.

When it seems that a person will resist some kind of decision or influence, then it is worth discussing with him only secondary issues, without questioning what you need. In the case of a trip, you can argue about the timing, transport and amount of luggage, but not the fact of travel itself. This technique even works with children, distracting from the conflict moment - morning gatherings may include arguing about clothes and who carries the backpack, then the idea that there is an option not to go to school is excluded.

Another option on how to achieve what you want is to ask for a lot and inaccessible at once, and then lower the bar to the level necessary. A person who refused a big request may feel guilty, the desire to get rid of which is quite strong, so if you immediately offer him the opportunity to pay off with less, consent comes almost instantly.

People influence each other even in passivity, for example, a long pause makes a person talk more about the previous topic. The awkwardness of silence is hard to bear psychologically, and social norms require constant dialogue, so if you deliberately delay the pause, the interlocutor will be forced to fill it with something. For the topics of such fillings, the last discussed issue or the emotional experiences of the interlocutor is usually chosen.

In general, try to speak less, giving the other the opportunity to speak out, to indicate their position. Not only does everyone prefer to be listened to, but this is still not enough in our world, so a good listener is immediately imbued with trust, telling more and more. Even if you have more experience and more accurate knowledge on some issue, then listen anyway - you will receive information regarding the person himself and his life concept, and in time questions asked help steer the conversation in the right direction.

Such a feature allows establishing close contact that a person feels that he is being listened to, when what he said is paraphrased, the same information is returned, slightly changed in form, but not in meaning. Gradually, you can add your own ideas to the voice of the interlocutor's text (everything you add will be perceived as your own thoughts).

These are the main features of the human psyche, allowing more and more to succumb to influence: the maximum level of trust in the interlocutor and the manifestation of one's freedom. The more you master the art of inspiring trust and creating for a person the possibility of choice and the illusion of control of the situation, the more power you will have not only over actions (which can be forced), but also motivational and emotional sphere(All you need is some inspiration.)

Ways and methods of influencing people

There are certain techniques that allow you to influence the further attitudes or behavior of people, and they are described in the literature, discussed many times by psychologists and sociologists, but they still continue to operate. Even if a person has long been aware of the moments of special influence, he will still be subject to it, the only thing that can change is the degree and timely awareness of the manipulative impact, but the necessary feelings will have time to arise, and some actions may never reach the level of consciousness.

The classic of influence is the ability to make a friend out of an enemy with a request. When it is useless to negotiate, and it is pointless to measure strength, only positive methods of cooperation remain. Naturally, a direct offer can only cause alertness or aggression, so it is necessary to ask the person in the most neutral position for some service that is beneficial for you, but quite simple to perform for him. Borrow a pen, ask for an address, ask for help carrying a box to your office - small things like that, done with care, knock down the program of competition or dislike for you.

Choose words according to what the person thinks of themselves, even if they don't match your vision of the situation. At some points, this may resemble flattery, but if such speeches hit the very point of self-perception, then you may be the first person to evaluate the other in the way he always saw it. Since everyone strives to surround himself with like-minded people, then after an accurate description of the person himself, you can say whatever you like - this will also be perceived as the truth.

In order to get closer to trust, you can try to reflect not only the person's perception of the world, but also its physical manifestations. Copying posture, speech tempo, and voice volume are the foundations of Neuro-Linguistic Programming, which really works. The system is built on the fact that after appropriate copying of gestures and other manifestations of a person, you can begin to bring in your influences, and he will already repeat your movements and thoughts, as you did before on purpose.

This mechanism is built on high level feelings of self-worth, when others copy our behavior - at the animal level, the whole pack tries to adapt to the manifestations of the leader. So when influencing, you can use not only logical components, but also evolutionarily embedded unconscious mechanisms. When communicating with a person, show your participation and understanding of what the person is talking about and your joint dialogue - nod, hoot, repeat last words and use other techniques that confirm your active participation in communication.

An important point is the choice of an emotional interlocutor when you make a request or offer. So, a tired person is unlikely to refuse, rather he will postpone the decision to another day - while the chances of a positive outcome increase. V good mood a person quickly agrees to simple and understandable requests, where he is not required to solve current moments and think about how best to act. Therefore, if you have a ready-made specific plan that requires only permission, then expect high spirits, but if you need to settle a few incomprehensible questions, then choose the afternoon when people are tired.

Try to start small - please read an article or walk with you to the nearest office, listen to a song or visit a free exhibition. Such actions leave the feeling that a person has already done something in the necessary direction, i.e. when you offer to attend a paid continuation of a free lecture, he will agree faster. The main thing in this step-by-step tightening approach is to pause, stretching each step for several days or weeks. Two principles work here at once - pauses, during which a person has time to think about what is happening, feel obliged, and also evaluate their own efforts already invested earlier. It is always easier to give up on something where one's own energy has not yet been directed than on a worthless process where at least time has been invested.

Look for what is beneficial for a person and start by positioning precisely his interests, since the main thing is personal motivation. When you can't find anything. What can be given to the interlocutor (emotions, titles, a sense of belonging or removal of guilt), then use two direct influences, which sometimes work where all influence techniques are powerless. The first is a polite request, captivating with its sincerity, openness and intelligence. Many, being subjected to frequent, appreciate open appeal more than ever. The second option for such honest treatment is monetary payment for the desired result. Such a business approach can resolve many conflicts and force even former competitors to cooperate.