Relationship with a married man. Psychology of relations with a married man. How to meet a married man - Psychologist's advice Psychology of relations with a married man

Romances with married men can be treated in two ways - for some they are non-committal entertainment, and someone is trying in every possible way to avoid such connections. Are there any advantages in such relationships, and how to end them with the least emotional loss?

How to find a married lover

If you have set yourself such a goal, then achieving it will not be difficult - you just need to register on a dating site. As a rule, on most of these resources, married men are trying to find a non-committal relationship. Consciously looking for connections with unfree men, most often women who themselves do not aspire to marriage. Also, such relationships do not exclude girls who need financial support, knowing that often married and wealthy lovers are particularly generous.

Where can you meet him if you are married?

Many women often seek out other men, even if they themselves are married. Just like the unmarried, they can meet a potential lover at work, on a dating site, at a resort, in a restaurant, and in many public places. Most often, such acquaintances of women are thrown by dissatisfaction with their own marriage. Nevertheless, not wanting, for some reason, to destroy the family, they are more willing to get in touch with a married man.

What are the advantages of such a novel:

1. A married man will not publicize your relationship. A free lover, sooner or later, may want to be the only one for his chosen one, and tell her husband about the betrayal, while a married person initially knows what he is doing, so he acts very carefully.

2. Usually you don’t expect unpleasant surprises from such men. They do not disappear suddenly, do not bother with calls and messages, well understanding the specifics of meetings with a non-free person.

3. You can be calm in terms of your health. Married men, unlike free men, most often do not go for casual relationships. If they already have a lover besides their wife, then they limit themselves to these two women. Accordingly, the risk of getting some kind of venereal disease is minimized.

How to behave in order to interest him

Married men differ little in the perception of women from unmarried men, so if he is interested in a connection on the side, then it will not be difficult to seduce him. However, in this case, one appearance is not limited. A man must understand that you do not consider him as your potential husband. Free women should be told that they do not plan to tie the knot anytime soon. In turn, married women should be mentioned that although there are problems in their family, divorce is unacceptable for them.

All the pros and cons when dating a married man

Advantages:

If you are an opponent of official marriages and in general do not want to get involved in a serious relationship at the present time, then this option may suit you.
You have problems in your marriage that you cannot solve, however, you are not ready to terminate it. In this case, a new romance can distract you from family troubles.
You are experiencing serious financial difficulties, and a married boyfriend promises to help you with solving financial problems, or you understand that this connection will save you at least some difficulties of this kind.
You are unable to start an affair with a free man, it seems to you that you are not interested in the opposite sex, and a married admirer is trying in every possible way to achieve your location. A short relationship in this situation will help you boost your self-esteem.
You know that your husband is dishonest with you, and you want to take revenge on him. Some women in this case decide to cheat, and opt for a married man, realizing in advance that they do not count on a long-term relationship with him.

Minuses:

You can get used to a lover and wish to start a family with him. The chosen one, in turn, will not be ready to destroy his marriage, which will inevitably lead to stress.
If you are single and your lover is married, over time you will begin to feel more and more that you are wasting time with him. While a man lives a full life, you are forced to be content with fitful meetings.
It is likely that the lover's wife will be aware of your connection. This can turn into a big scandal for you, which your friends, colleagues or relatives can find out about. Remember that some deceived wives are very creative in their revenge.
Having got used to a married man, gradually you will begin to torment yourself with jealousy for his wife. Instead of an easy romance, you will provide yourself with depressed mood and irritability.
Your self-esteem may drop. At first, meetings with a married man sometimes bring a certain "sharpness" to life, but gradually it becomes boring. You will want to be the only and beloved for your chosen one. In addition, the attitude towards mistresses in society is rather ambiguous, and you will want to be in a similar status less and less.

How to build such relationships

Don't make a scene. As a rule, people go into such relationships to solve some of their problems, and not add new ones to themselves. Surely, a married man who is not completely satisfied with his relationship with his wife will not meet with a woman for a long time, with whom everything is also not going smoothly.

Exercise caution. Over time, many lovers begin to lose vigilance, which turns out to be an exposure for them. If you do not want your novel to be declassified, avoid texting and social networking messages - they may be read by the wrong person. The same applies to dates - do not meet in places where acquaintances or friends can see you.

The man is married and the girl is free

Many married men choose to date girls who are not married or otherwise romantically involved. Being an owner by nature, such a man wants to be the only one for his mistress, despite the fact that he himself lives with another.

As a rule, such an affair runs the risk of turning into much bigger problems for the cheater than relationships with married girls. A free woman gradually realizes that she, too, would like her lover to belong to her alone. The status of a mistress is becoming less and less attractive, and nothing else is foreseen. Often the affair has to be kept secret, so when friends go somewhere with their boyfriends or celebrate holidays in pairs, a girl dating a married man is forced to feel slighted. She is no longer satisfied with secret meetings, and she begins to put pressure on her lover, hinting at a divorce, or even demanding it.

The outcome may be different. As a rule, if the relationship lasted for many years, that man may not decide on a divorce. If the romance started quite recently, parting with his wife does not threaten with major losses and the man is sincerely in love with a girl who is in many ways superior to his wife, then he can go for divorce.

Romance of a married woman with a non-free

In this case, lovers are less likely to decide on a divorce. The man and his mistress already have families of their own, so none of them are chasing a stamp in their passport. In addition, if people decide to start relationships on the side rather than divorce, then there is a very small chance that in the end it will still come to divorce. Often, if families break up, this happens when the spouses of lovers find out about the betrayal, and they themselves become the initiators of the divorce.

In general, such a relationship can last longer than when the girl is free. Firstly, a married girl already has the status of a wife and does not pursue him. Secondly, a married woman, like her lover, is more cautious and prudent than a free woman.

Married men who go into relationships with married women see many advantages in this for themselves. Usually, such a romance guarantees them pleasant meetings, and saves them from unnecessary requests. Free girls periodically need male help - with car repairs, household appliances and the like. Married girls are more likely to make these requests to their spouse. In addition, such a girl does not often need to give gifts. she doesn't want to arouse her husband's suspicions. In turn, free needs more attention.

What the statistics say, is marriage possible after such a relationship

The statistics in this case are rather fuzzy. However, it is worth noting that in most cases, if a man did not decide to divorce in the first year after a lover appeared in his life, then later it will be harder for him, because he will get used to the current state of affairs. A man who has only recently become interested in another and at the same time relationships with her bring him a lot of positive emotions is more malleable and easier to divorce.

fall in love with yourself

In this situation, you should act as with any other chosen one. If you want a man to fall in love, then you must always look well-groomed and seductive. Even if you are in a bad mood, the lover should not feel this - let him always be pleased to be in your company.

Also pay attention to how you feel about it. Sincerely support a man, be his inspiration, rejoice in his success. He must understand that you are the woman who is truly interested in his personality, desires for hobbies.

You must arouse interest in other people or be a fairly versatile person. Take up a new interesting hobby. Pay attention to dancing - many men like girls who are passionate about some kind of dance direction. It intrigues them, excites the imagination. Try to live an exciting life so that the chosen one is interested in you.

Through pregnancy

If you decide to get pregnant from a married man, then be prepared for the fact that you will have to raise the baby yourself. If a man's family already has children, then your position will not make a big impression on him. Moreover, he may decide that the relationship has become too complicated and leave you. It is for these reasons that you must understand that while he is married, the responsibility for the decision to have a baby lies only with you.

Another case is if there are no children in the man's family. Perhaps the spouses did not manage to conceive a child, or the wife decided to postpone it - then your chances increase significantly. For many people, children are associated with family happiness, respectively, a man will begin to understand that not his current spouse, but you and your common child are his family. However, keep in mind that the situation may turn out differently if the man has not yet planned to become a father and this prospect causes him doubts.

In any case, it is better to discuss this topic with a man in advance. Ask him how events would develop if he found out about your pregnancy. Most likely, his answer will be close to the truth.

"In war, as in war - all methods are good"

1) If the spouse knows about your existence, or at least suspects, then at home the man regularly encounters conflict situations. You must act completely differently - support your beloved, say that you are ready to let him go if necessary. He should feel comfortable and at ease with you.

2) Don't pressure him. You should be superior to his spouse in many ways, but do not demand that he leave you. He himself must understand that you are a more advantageous option. If you want a man to become more active, it is better to report that you have a fan. Jealousy can make him make a choice in your favor.

3) Become a close person for him, and this is not only about the intimate side of the issue. Support your lover, cheer, show his high importance for yourself. Ask for his advice more often, praise him and admire him.

4) Don't try to get your spouse to know about you. Most likely, the lover will immediately understand who became the "source of information", even if you are careful. Your initiative, for sure, will push him away and put an end to this relationship.

5) Create favorable conditions for meetings. If the dates are at your place, make it comfortable for him to come to you. Cook delicious meals, keep your home clean. Let the man have his own slippers, a favorite cup, bought especially for him. If you are meeting on neutral territory, also find an opportunity to show concern for your lover, he will pay attention to this.

How to end an affair with an unfree man

Most women who have at least once entered into a long-term relationship with a married man try not to repeat such an experience again, and such admirers become taboo for them.

Even if it turns out to “take away” a person from the family, this does not always bring the expected feeling of satisfaction. If a man decides to still stay with his wife, then the woman may feel used or become depressed. So, you understand that you have more negative emotions from these relationships than positive ones? It's time to finish this novel!

How to do it:

Realize that such a relationship most likely has no future. While a man lives a family life, and even spends time with his mistress, you are simply wasting time. You become attached to this person and begin to consider him the main man in your life. However, for him the main woman is the one with whom he lives, no matter what he tells you.
Understand that you are being used. A man who would love you would belong only to you - it's so natural and obvious. He would certainly find ways to solve all difficulties, and reunite with his beloved woman. Being in a relationship with you, he most likely wants to spice up his life, escape from the family routine, or just trying to increase his own self-esteem.
Having decided to leave such relationships in the past, do not delay it, because you have already lost a lot of time. Let your lover know that you are forced to end your relationship, not seeing any further prospects for yourself. Note that you are ripe for marriage, and the relationship with him takes you time and effort that you could use to find the right person for you.
Most likely, the lover managed to get used to you, so the prospect of parting is unlikely to please him. Be prepared for various promises and manipulations. He may say that he will divorce soon or say that he has already told his wife everything, but he needs some more time to leave her. All these are just words. Warn the man that something might work out for you when he shows you the divorce papers and finally separates from his wife. Voice him and remind yourself that you are worthy of an open relationship with a free person.
You need to get out of the habit of meeting with your lover, live a completely different life. Often, your desire to limit communication with a married man may not be immediately accepted by him, and for some time he will still remind you of himself. The best way to avoid this is to travel for a while. Try to find such an opportunity. A change of scenery will allow you to look at the whole situation from the outside and make it easier to accept changes in your life.
Having warned your lover that you no longer want to meet and communicate with him, cut off all contacts. Block him on social media and blacklist his phone number. It is possible that you will have to change your number if the boyfriend is too persistent.
Determine for yourself why you went into such a relationship - you lacked male attention, you had financial difficulties, you were just bored. All these difficulties are completely solvable. Male attention can be obtained by taking up different types of hobbies that interest guys. Become a football fan, often go to the shooting range, bowling, to car shows. Many women meet life partners on a dating site. To solve financial difficulties, find a suitable job, because a lover can leave you at any time, and financial problems will still have to be solved by yourself. If a married man just filled your life with new experiences, then start scooping them up in a new place - take up active hobbies, meet friends more often, go to interesting crowded places.
Understand that by meeting this man, you yourself are depriving yourself of the chances of creating a full-fledged family. While you are waiting for his decision or spending your energy and nerves on trying to “take away” from the family, other people get to know each other, fall in love with each other and get married. Think about how you would feel being the only woman and beloved wife in the life of a worthy man? Surely, this is much more pleasant than sharing a lover with another woman, who, moreover, is clearly in a more advantageous position.
Chances are, you will always be unsettled in a marriage with a man who already has a history of adultery. You can convince yourself as much as you like that everything will be different in your family life, but this man has already made several conclusions that will be unpleasant for you. Firstly, he is used to running away from problems in the family or with his chosen one, plunging into other relationships. Secondly, he realized that, no matter what, you can share it with another woman, and if he becomes interested in someone else, it will not be new for you to realize that you are not the only one with him.
To less worry about parting with your lover, fill your time with work or new hobbies as much as possible. Do not follow his life and do not be interested in his affairs - take care of yourself. This can be a daunting task, so it makes sense to write out an action plan for the coming month. You need to occupy yourself so much that there is simply no time for sad thoughts and boredom.
If you have a free admirer, try giving him a chance at a relationship. You must again feel what it is - communication without humiliating conditions. You will not need to hide with your chosen one from casual acquaintances, you will be able to write messages and call him without fear, you will not have to share him with another woman or spend holidays alone.

A certain part of women is sure that her only betrothed lives somewhere, which is intended only for her. Often the fate of the villain presents an unexpected surprise, where the same “prince on a white horse” is already busy.

This stops some young ladies, but there are also those who spit on circumstances and are ready to achieve their goal in any way.

A lady, agreeing to be a mistress, should first of all think over this decision very well, since it has a number of negative aspects:

First, secret dates may not last long. After a couple of meetings, there is a chance that you will part forever.

Secondly, will it be possible to constantly be in a state of expectation. After all, you never know for sure when your loved one will make an appointment or call.

Thirdly, women very often torment themselves with questions about whether the chosen one will leave their spouse and children, how long this romance will last, and so on, because it is not always possible to consult with loved ones. Few will support adultery.

Misunderstanding and contradictions torment a woman who agreed to meet with a married man.

Only the representative of the fair sex, who decided on such a relationship, can understand the current situation. A psychologist from the outside will not give the right answer, but will direct thoughts in the right direction.

Often, a connection with an unfree man has no prospects. Psychologists recommend that unfree women be prepared for the fact that the love story will end abruptly. There is no need to build castles in the air, so the look at what is happening should be realistic.

The advice of a psychologist of the following kind will help build a relationship with a married man:

The right relationship strategy will help build relationships with your unfree loved one and extend the candy-bouquet period.
Anyone who wants to enjoy the relationship with a not free gentleman to the maximum, needs to carefully hide him from outsiders. You should not tell your friends, even if you are sure that they will keep the secret. In the future, this will turn into problems for you and for your lover.
The desire to hide the affair will have a positive effect on the extension of the novel, because the girl will show her lover that she can be trusted.
Under no circumstances should you criticize your lover's wife! No matter how trite this advice may sound, but this is one of the secrets of how to build a relationship. During the conversation, it is desirable to support the chosen one.
Don't try to be better than your wife. It is necessary to compensate for those qualities that she does not have. She cooks badly, cook what he likes. She does not listen to her lover - become the best listener for him.
Submission and devotion to the beloved contributes to the extension of sympathy.
You can aggravate the situation if you make scandals, call your spouse and insist on a divorce. All these showdowns are enough for a lover at home.

You must be restrained, calm, well-groomed and passionate. These qualities will distinguish you from the missus.

How to build a relationship with a married man so that the romance lasts as long as possible? The behavior of a mistress plays a big role in maintaining a relationship with someone's husband. She should not be imposed and try to keep the chosen one by any means. It is allowed to hint after a while that this situation is not normal, so you are waiting for a decision from him. It is enough to do it once, and then just wait. If the lover's intentions are serious, then he himself will take the first step. While waiting, the mistress becomes only an observer, and not an active participant in the process of breaking up someone else's family.

If nothing changes during the year, then nothing will change in the future. The husband will not leave the family.

With a married man, the psychology of relationships is different than with a bachelor. Professionals advise creating a cozy nest at home, where the chosen one will rest and relax from work and life. Of course, this must be seasoned with great sex, which is so often lacking in married life.

Why is my husband looking for another

Men's initiative often serves as the beginning of an affair. A sign of female sympathy is a look or a slight smile, but the first step is taken by the representative of the stronger sex. Of course, in any case there are exceptions, but they only confirm the rule.

It happens that the relationship has gone far enough and only then the girl finds out that her chosen one is already married. Why didn't he say anything about it?

Psychologists agree that this situation is due to an unsettled life in the family. There are many reasons why a husband finds solace on the side. Here are some small examples:

A legal spouse is an imperious person who suppresses a legal spouse. He, in turn, in order to preserve his manhood, begins to search for a passion who will not put pressure on him.
The wife ceases to excite her husband as a sexual object. The family is harmonious, but there is not enough intimacy, this serves as a pretext for male infidelity.
Both spouses do not understand each other at all, and live together only because of the children.

The list can be continued indefinitely.

What motivates women

Becoming the mistress of a married man can force a desire for self-affirmation, especially for married ladies who have become sick of life with their spouse due to the constant solution of domestic difficulties. With a lover, everything is like the first time. He is gallant, courteous, respectable, knows how to compliment and present nice gifts. Hormones are pumping again, and the sex is just divine!

Sometimes psychological unrest comes from childhood, pushing for close communication with married men. Perhaps the girl grew up in an incomplete family, or her father was too immersed in work and did not pay due attention to her daughter. If this is so, according to psychologists, the young lady may be afraid to create her own unit of society, and therefore agree to be in the limbo of adultery.

Benefits of an extramarital affair

Intrigue with someone else's spouse will be useful if:

You want to maintain freedom and independence, but at the same time have a permanent partner for sex.
For young people, love with the unfree is a way to improve their material condition. The main thing is not to sell too cheap and settle only for expensive presents and substantial assistance.
A lady who has an affair with a married boyfriend can always find a suitable groom for herself. As long as she has a connection with another, she can look closely at the others and calmly choose, and not rush at the first person she meets.
Married women can also have a lover to confirm female attractiveness, as well as to get thrills that are not with a legitimate husband.

If you approach the current situation from the right side, you can see many advantages. But there are also disadvantages, which we have already partially discussed above.

Negative sides

Many ladies who were once with not free gentlemen, to the question: “Is it easy to be a mistress?”, Will answer in the negative. Extramarital affairs do not always work out perfectly, therefore, in order not to suffer in the future, it is undesirable for lovers to build illusions about a joint future.

With each passing day, it is usually more and more difficult to realize the fact that a loved one must be shared with his wife.

To imagine him in the arms of another is unbearable, as a result, you can get a nervous breakdown. Everything secret becomes clear, and someday the wife finds out about her husband's infidelity. And it certainly will not lead to anything good. Scandal, tears, painful breakup, broken hopes.

Short dates, holidays and weekends alone - this is exactly what awaits a woman who has agreed to become the lady of the heart of an unfree man. As a result, she will inevitably think about the prospects for her future life. Is it worth continuing?

boomerang law

Before agreeing to the role of a kept woman, think about whether you would like your spouse to be unfaithful? Most likely no. Remember the boomerang law. Sooner or later everyone gets tired of playing love games and people get married. Here there may come a retribution for all the negative emotions that the lawful wife of a traitor husband experienced. Some believe that a woman, becoming a homeowner, predicts the future for herself. It is quite possible that an identical situation will happen to her.

It may also happen that after a certain time, the ringed lover will find himself a new sympathy. And the former lover is out of work. So there is a fee for communication with a married guy. To be as insured as possible from such a development of events, take a closer look at the gentleman and, if his character has a craving for adventure on the side, think carefully again.

To avoid an unfortunate fate, a girl on the first dates must definitely find out if her boyfriend is free. Yes, there is a risk that he will deceive, but if you ask a question at the wrong time and directly, the lie will be noticeable. After receiving the answer, you should think about this connection with such a person. It might be better to finish it before it even starts. So it will be possible to prevent not only their suffering, but also the members of the womanizer's family. Children suffer the most in a situation of infidelity when they see that disagreements and scandals occur between their parents.

sharp break

How does a relationship with a married chosen one end: a wedding or separation? In most cases, a break. If after a year he has not divorced his spouse and continues to find reasons why he does not, then you will need to take the first step to stop secret meetings.

Only after a break with the gentleman has occurred, you can begin to look for a suitable candidate for husbands and create your own family. Ladies who wish to free themselves from the shackles and move on must work on themselves. For this it is recommended:

cut off all ties with a lover;
change phone number;
remove from social networks;
change the lock on the door.

Going to a psychologist helps a lot. Girlfriends in this case will not help, because women often develop an inferiority complex and disbelief in their own strength during an extramarital affair. These are psychological problems that must be dealt with. Only by changing can one begin to live anew.

Do not get hung up on an affair with a not free gentleman, take it as a temporary phenomenon. You don't have to give up meeting new people.

With someone else's husband, it will hardly be possible to go out somewhere or spend a weekend together, but with a bachelor you can live openly, make phone calls at any time of the day, visit public places and not be afraid that someone will see and make a scandal. Enjoying life is much more pleasant than living in anticipation of the next arrival of a lover for several hours, and then a long silence.

Every woman dreams of being happy. For some, this is an interesting job, for someone - travel. But still, almost everyone dreams of a happy family. A caring husband, healthy cheerful children, a cozy home... But sometimes it happens that a beloved man already has a family. And the house is, and children. A relationship with a married man is not an easy burden.

Lover and mistress

Mistresses are not always unhappy. There are women who quite consciously make contact with a married man. And this state of affairs suits them perfectly. Let's say a married lady is just looking for pleasure on the side. A man with a family for such purposes is ideal. He will be careful and prudent, he will not bother with calls and SMS. It would never occur to the father of the family to drop in on his beloved in order to have a serious talk with her husband. A purely functional relationship in which both partners are looking for what they lack in marriage. Adrenaline, romance, intimate moments that are unacceptable for a spouse.

The second option is a classic mistress. A beautiful well-groomed girl who is just looking for a "sponsor". She is interested not so much in a man as in his wallet, so whether he is married or not is not so important. Nothing personal, just business. And if such a girl decides to take a man away from the family, then not because of suddenly erupted feelings. This is more of a raider takeover than a love drama. And why? After all, a lover can always be changed to a richer or more attractive one, and a divorced man will pay alimony and help his ex-wife.

Option for singles

Business women are also not always eager to get married. If a woman is satisfied with her own life, but just wants to have a non-committal romance, a relationship with a married man is ideal. Stable, comfortable, hassle-free connection that will not cause inconvenience.

A married man will not be jealous of hobbies and work, he does not need to wash and cook - there is a legal spouse for this. Lovely conversations, joint dinners in some sparsely populated cafe and quality sex - all that such a lover needs from a partner. And marriage is not included in her plans at all.

Is it easy to be a lover

But cases when a lady agrees to the role of a mistress, without pretending to be more, are the exception rather than the rule. The attitude of a married man to a woman can be simply fabulous - care, financial assistance, bouquets every weekend. But the ladies still do not need it. They dream that one day the beloved will divorce his hateful wife and marry. Maybe not now, maybe later, but he will definitely marry. They have been waiting for this for years, hoping for happiness.

Such relationships require great patience and self-denial from a woman. You need to be constantly, every minute, in “combat readiness”. What if he calls right now? What if he finds a free minute and comes in? Or maybe, on the contrary, he will make an appointment, but will not come, because he had to go to his mother-in-law for dinner ... One has to meekly listen to endless complaints about his wife, stories about children, when any mention of someone else's family is given in the soul with deep pain. Let go of a loved one, each time realizing that he is leaving for another woman. Kisses her in the hallway, eats her dinner, gets into bed with her. It's very hard.

Men are in no hurry to leave

Sometimes women start dating married men just for fun, and then the relationship drags them on and does not let go. But much more often they do not even suspect that their chosen one is married. The truth comes as a shock to them. It would seem that you should immediately end your relationship with a married man. But many ladies forgive deceit. They wait and hope. Such a relationship often lasts for years, leading the woman to despair.

What makes ladies maintain a relationship with a married man? The psychology behind such a connection usually has some kind of internal wormhole. A woman who is self-confident, satisfied with her life and surroundings, will not doom herself to endless waiting. Yes, for sure everyone will be able to name a couple of men who nevertheless left their wives for mistresses. But this is a drop in the ocean. Usually husbands "go to the left" for years, but if they nevertheless decide to act, then, as a rule, they leave their mistress, and not the family.

Yes, and public opinion has always condemned the "razluchnitsy", laying the blame on them for the destroyed family hearth. The statement is, of course, debatable.

The decision is made by a man, and if he wants to have a mistress, he will have her, not this one, but another. And if he decides to leave the family, he will leave. Maybe not even to a woman, but to her mother. Or in a hotel room, anywhere. When a husband leaves the family, it means that the family as such has not existed for a long time. A mistress - just a logical consequence of the situation. The relationship of a married man to his mistress is often quite functional. She is in love. And a man, at best, is passionate and simply takes advantage of someone else's weakness.

Lover - who is it?

And yet women are in no hurry to break off relations with a married man. Psychology explains this by some specific features that are originally present in the character.

Chronic mistresses are usually extremely insecure. The inner conviction that she does not deserve better makes a woman transfer all her dreams and aspirations to the available man. Subconsciously, she is afraid to take risks, afraid to be all alone. At the same time, the paradox of the situation is that such a woman, to some extent, also enjoys the situation. Deeply experiencing her own imaginary unattractiveness, she seeks to prove to herself and others that she is not only no worse - better than the rest! And what could be a more weighty argument in this kind of dispute than a man won back from a rival?

In addition, the status of a mistress has some romantic aura, albeit a very controversial one. Psychology defines relationships with a married man as attractive precisely because of their ambiguity. On the one hand, this is proof of female attractiveness, on the other hand, it is a reason to feel like a victim of circumstances. And self-pity is a pretty good feeling. And a great excuse for any misconduct and blunders. “Yes, it was stupid. But how can you judge me? Because I'm so unhappy!"

One more last chance

Often mistresses have been waiting for a man for years, although it seems to be already obvious that he is not going to leave the family. Every time new excuses, every time new arguments.

Psychology characterizes relationships with a married man as addictive. The woman gets used to it. She convinces herself to believe again, now for sure the last one. Although one last already was. And one more. And further. After all, it seems that the goal is so close ... It is always difficult to admit one's own mistakes. It's not that the man is so persuasive. Just a woman does not want to face the truth. So much effort wasted waiting, so much wasted nerves.

And the woman is trying harder. She goes out of her way to become the best, and all in the hope that her beloved will appreciate the effort. The man simply doesn't care. He is comfortable, he is satisfied with this state of affairs. Perhaps even his wife has already gotten used to constant betrayal and is used to it. So the unfortunate lover is the only one who seeks to break the knot that is tightening ever tighter.

Relationships must be severed

But does it really strive? Does she really need a family? If this is her goal, then what prevents her from breaking off relations with a married man?

Then you can move on, look for someone who is ready to start a family. It's just that a mistress doesn't do that. According to psychologists, this is due to the fact that in fact a woman is afraid of such responsibility and subconsciously looks for a way to avoid it. And what is better for this than hopeless love?

Those women who really want to break out of the vicious circle and move forward need, first of all, to work on themselves. Cut off all ties with your lover, change your phone number and lock the door. And then turn to a psychologist. Friends will not help here, you need a professional. He will help you survive a difficult moment and tell you how to change yourself. Both the inferiority complex and disbelief in oneself are just psychological problems that can and should be fought. Only by eliminating internal causes, you can really change your life, create it anew.

First, learn to call a spade a spade. You keep dating a married man even though you know it's wrong. Can you really say out loud that you are proud of this relationship? Put yourself in the place of another woman: how would you feel when you find out that your loved one is not faithful to you? You may have been told this phrase a thousand times, but let's face it right now, the problem is that you don't care at all about how your actions affect the life of another family.

Step #2. Give up on the "ideal"

And this ideal is damn far from a real man, as his wife sees every day. You don’t wash his dirty clothes, you don’t scold him for socks scattered around the apartment and the toilet lid is raised, you don’t hear him snoring all night long and you don’t argue who drank the wine and didn’t throw away the bottle. When you date a married man, you see the perfect guy in front of you, but you don't know reality at all.

Step #3 Write "explanatory"

How to break up with a married man? Does it need to be done at all? If you are still in doubt and do not dare to put an end to a destructive relationship, it's time to retire and take up paper and pencil. A hackneyed (because spectacular!) psychological technique: divide a piece of paper into two columns. The first is “positive emotions”, the second is “negative”. Write down every single reason why you want to stay in a relationship with this man and why you want to break up with him. We give a hint. The first item in the column with minuses: "He is married." Remember all the unpleasant events that happened between you: the time he let you down by canceling the meeting at the last minute; soulless birthday gifts or, at all, their absence. If sex with him is good, remind yourself how you felt when he had to urgently leave, right after a physical release, to take his wife to the doctor. And what about the uncomfortable rear seats of a car in winter instead of a warm bed? Yes, and don't forget about the feeling of guilt towards another woman and her family.

Step #4 Don't look for excuses

A common version of all mistresses: "His marriage was doomed from the very beginning." Stop. Do not be fooled, if the marriage was really doomed, it would have ended a very long time ago. The reality is that by maintaining both family ties and extramarital affairs, a man simply wants the best of both worlds. Do not pay off with the phrase: "We are soul mates" or "All good men are either married or gay." Contrary to popular belief, the world is full of affordable and deserving bachelors. You need to respect yourself and be in a relationship in which you are truly appreciated. Do not be fooled by the one dropped in a moment of passion: "I really want to get a divorce." I would like to get divorced yesterday.

Step #5 Enlist the support of friends

Call your close friends, arrange to meet and open your heart to them. We mean only trusted people you can trust. Tell them that you have decided to leave a married man. Enlist their support. This will help you in a moment of weakness: when you know that you will have to answer for your words, you will feel stronger and more determined.

Step #6 Answer the most important question

And now the same question: “How to part with a married man?” from the technical side. Depending on the level of your relationship and personal comfort/discomfort, you can do this in person or over the phone. If you are very afraid of talking - write him an email. The main rule: do not make your break a topic for discussion. "Don't you think our relationship isn't working?" or “Maybe it would be better to end these secret dates?” This will give him the opportunity to once again tell you how "things will change for the better" and that "this is temporary" and that he was "just about to confess everything to his wife." Just tell him this is the end. And point. Be stronger. You have a problem in your life and you need to solve it.

Step #7 Break the pattern

If you have tried to break up with this or similar relationships in the past, you probably noticed that there is a certain pattern of behavior. How to break up with a married man? The wrong answer is: he stays away for three days and calls on the fourth, your heart melts because this time was very difficult, and everything returns to normal again. Enough! Start a new project at work that you will throw yourself into, or take a vacation. Stop this vicious cycle once and for all.

Step #8 Get him out of your life

A man will certainly want you back, do not let him convince you to back down. Try to exclude any possibility of even fleeting contact with an already former lover. Repeat: ex! Delete his letters, photos and emails, erase his phone number and messages, block him on all social networks. Throw away the presents... Those expensive earrings too! Erase him from life completely if you

Do you have a danger - a relationship with a married man? And you are completely confused whether it is worth stopping them in the bud or the forbidden fruit will turn out to be sweet. What is the right thing to do in this situation, when a married man shows signs of attention and offers to meet? How not to make a mistake and not commit stupidity, because of which then the whole life will go downhill?

The advice of a psychologist can answer this question. Indeed, all over the world, many women cried to their psychologists with this problem. Therefore, in this article, read a rich squeeze and the most valuable thing about this relationship. To be able to learn from the mistakes of their predecessors and not step on the old rake.

A married man wants a relationship (pros and cons)
Any psychologist, and just a sane person, will advise in such a situation to stay away from men with a ring on their ring finger. Even if you are not planning a serious relationship with him, but rather want to enjoy a fleeting romance with a person you like, the best solution would be to find a free applicant for this purpose.

And we are not talking about the hateful norms of morality. If we weigh all the pros and cons, then there will be much more minuses. Let's list in order.

Fun adventure or heartache?
The biggest thing that girls who decide to have a relationship with a ringed man are mistaken about is the idea that everything will end as easily, cheerfully and carefree as it began. No one thinks that since you liked this person so much that you even decided to ignore his stamp in your passport, then you will surely develop an attachment to him. Even if you don’t have such a desire, sometimes our feelings play a cruel joke with us . And instead of a carefree romance, we get the pain of loving a married man.
Nobody canceled the boomerang law.
There is a wisdom of the Universe that has long been known to everyone: how you treat others and act towards them, you get the same in return. And do not think that all this is the nonsense of superstitious people. This is a logical truth of life. And think, if you decide to have fun with someone else's husband, then this can easily happen to you, right? Sooner or later you decide to get married or create a serious relationship. And already in a situation where the husband went on a spree, you may find yourself. Will you like it? Always put yourself in the shoes of other people and then you will be able to make the right choice.
We build happiness on the misfortune of others.
If an affair with a married man lasts a long time, any woman in such a situation dreams that he divorces and stays with her legally. But you are going to build your family nest on the pain and suffering of other people. And when a man rushes between his family and his mistress, he is indecisive and also suffers from this. The mistress herself also lives in ignorance and only wonders on coffee grounds whether the traitor will choose her or stay in the family. Not to mention the wife and children. Children also react no less sharply to their father's betrayal. Thus, we can say that the entire circle of participants is in suffering because of the current situation. But all this could have been avoided if a different decision had been made initially. And it’s not a fact that if your loved one chooses you, then your new family will be happy. After all, if a man likes to look to the left, where is the guarantee that he will not find himself another adventurer.
The world did not converge on him like a wedge.
Often girls cannot refuse a relationship with a married man, just because they see this person as their one and only soul mate. But to think so is a serious delusion. There are many interesting men in the world. And if you take a good look around, you will find a few more young men with the same qualities as your beloved. There is no need to create excessive attachment to a busy person, thinking that only he is your only love. The longer you think like this, the longer you will suffer from the realization of yourself in the background.

It is better not to have affairs with married people.
I do not want to seem like a bore, but once again I would like to remind you that the best solution would be to refuse relations with a non-free person. A married man cannot be trusted 100%. Many men, in order to start a relationship with their mistress, do not first say that they have a family. And after some time, when the girl hints at a serious relationship, they are taken aback by the whole truth.
Well, how can you trust such a deceiver?
And if you initially knew about his “secret”, then you have no chance at all to demand anything from him. After all, you yourself agreed to be for him only entertainment. This is exactly how married men most often treat their ladies on the side.
Don't wait for the weather by the sea.
Of course, sometimes men also have a strong attachment to their secret admirer. But this is still not a reason for divorce in most cases. And if you have been in a relationship for a year now, and it doesn’t smell like a divorce, but only he feeds you with promises, then you shouldn’t hope for such an outcome. It is better to break the harmful connection and start building your new life.

If you, despite all the warnings, want to extend the relationship or break up the family and win the battle for a man, then these tips will be useful for you.

Never speak ill of his wife.
Even if he himself often complains about her and shows her in an unfavorable light, says that he is unhappy with her and no longer loves her, it is not permissible for you to speak ill of her. Because if everything is as bad as he claims, they are still connected by an invisible thread and he perceives it as part of himself.
Thus, it’s all the same that you will speak negatively about him. And it is also likely that all his stories about a bored wife are embellished with a red word and in fact he is not going to divorce at all. But he just wants to get new emotions in your company and get a little distracted from family life.
If you are waiting for a serious relationship and his choice, then this should be said only once. No need to remind him every day and ask about a divorce. Now you just have to wait. If a man himself makes a choice in your favor, then specific actions will follow. If a year has passed and nothing has changed, then it is useless to wait.
Know of any cons of his wife? Try to turn them into pluses for yourself. For example, she cooks poorly - treat him to gourmet dishes. You need to be better than her in everything so that the choice is made in your favor.
Become a safe haven, support and support for your loved one.
So that he feels cozy and comfortable next to you, rested both in body and soul. Then his attachment to you will increase even more.
Don't spread your connection to anyone.
Don't even tell your friends. Since gossip can go, and randomly they can reach his family. And then the scandal can not be avoided. And by the way, the wife can set a condition for him to leave you. And if everything remains a secret, your chosen one will trust you more, which will have a good effect on the development of your relationship.

case from practice

“I spent 5 years on a relationship with a married man. Dear girls, it's not worth it. Don't waste your younger years on something that won't bring you a drop of real happiness, only the pain of feeling second.

At first, I just wanted to have a good time with him, without any special obligations, since there was such a streak in my life that I needed a shake-up. But then, literally from the 4th date, I fell head over heels in love with him and no longer thought about breaking up. He was colder towards me, it was noticeable, but when they began to meet more often, he also became attached.

Relations with his wife did not stick, but he did not even think about divorce, because he did not want to injure the children. I did not know how to get out of this vicious circle and decided to go to a psychologist. After a few sessions, I firmly decided that I needed to tie. Reported in SMS, in the face I could not resist without tears.

He did not particularly resist, he himself understood that I deserved better. The most difficult was ahead: how not to call, not to write, not to wait for a meeting with him, not to track the profile in contact? Only the help of a psychologist helped to cope with this. Now I completely forgot about him and in search of a new love. I already react normally to other young people, and I don’t remember the former anymore.”

For a married woman

There is also such a picture when an unfree woman meets a married man. There is already a double betrayal and 2 deceived families. Various reasons can induce a woman to such an act, but most often it all comes down to dissatisfaction with family relationships. How to be in such a position? How to break the Gordian knot?

Methods for breaking the connection:

Make a clear choice.
Such a passive development of events, as if everything will be resolved by itself, will not end with a good end. You made this porridge, you have to disentangle it. Therefore, weigh the pros and cons and make a fateful choice. This is not the moment when you need to let everything take its course.
If the choice is made in favor of a legal husband, then invite your unwanted lover to think over a scenario for the further development of your relationship. Most likely, this will lead him to negative thoughts about revealing your secret relationship, which will lead to scandals and may destroy his marriage. On such a note, you can put an end to your relationship.
If a former lover flatly refuses to break your connection, then offer him the round table method. That is, a frank conversation between the four of us with the spouses. Any normal person will be frightened by such an offer and refuse, and at the same time will think about whether it is worth continuing the relationship with the generator of such ideas on the verge of fantasy.
Stop all contact at once. Sometimes it’s easier to do this than to explain at length and space why you should break up. The main thing is that none of the participants should have a desire for revenge on the family of the offender.
Talk heart to heart. Using this method, to convince your lover of the correctness of the decision, you should focus on causing pain and inconvenience to your legitimate passions and children. These sound arguments should convince anyone.

How to understand the attitude of a married man - what to expect?

If a young man has serious plans for you, then the initiative will be on his side. You just have to be an outside observer. If you see that he is showing strong affection, then create a cozy paradise for him.

Show your love and understanding that your feelings are deep. Perhaps he really has big problems in the family and he is thinking about a divorce. Although such cases are very rare. In most outcomes, a man is prevented from filing for a break in legal relations by a common long-term life with his wife, children, condemnation and obligations to other relatives.

The man who loves

Even strong feelings for your mistress can rarely induce a divorce. More often, men try to prolong the relationship on the side, as long as possible. In order not to miss the woman who makes him happier, without thinking too much about the fact that she is not satisfied with the second role of a secret wife.

This is selfish behavior, but alas, this is how most men behave who sincerely love their mistresses. It is easier for them to lead a double life than to break up their first family.

How to end a relationship with a man with obligations

To begin with, deeply realize that you are just a toy for him.
It is convenient for him to have a family and raise children with his wife. And from you to receive only what is lacking in a legal relationship. Perhaps warmth, affection or intrigue, diversity. Recognize this unpleasant fact and decide to break up. If the attachment is strong, this step will not be easy, but it is necessary to improve life, and not eat up the scraps from the royal table.
When you tune in psychologically, break off relations without unnecessary regrets and at once.
There should not be a single chance to renew communication. And neither you nor him. Do not answer calls and SMS, it is better to change the number altogether, do not let him into the apartment. If you do not show firmness of character, then everything can spin in a new way. So more than one year of life will pass and you can stay with nothing.
Do not fall for various tricks and attempts to keep you.
For example, a man may agree with you that it is best for both of you to leave, but since a breakup is inevitable, it would be possible to spend the last night together as a goodbye. But the outcome may turn out to be such that in the morning you will completely forget about your intentions, and everything will return to normal.
Destroy all things that could remind of him.
Joint photos, his gifts, etc. It is better to throw it away in order to get rid of this kind of memories for sure. Now you have a new life ahead of you, and it makes no sense to remember the harmful connection.
It will be more difficult to deal with thoughts ... But here everything is real. Start going to the sports section or other activity that interests you. And best of all, ask for an unscheduled vacation and go on vacation. New acquaintances, impressions and a change of scenery will force out unpleasant memories of failed love. If circumstances are such that there is no way to take a vacation, make yourself a busy schedule. Work, fitness, meeting friends, hobbies. Not a single free minute should remain. Then you simply will not have time to indulge in dull thoughts about a former lover. And it is quite possible that such an eventful life will lead you to a new love with a free and no less interesting person.
To make it easy to get out of a relationship with a married man, think about his lies.
After all, he lied to his wife every day of your acquaintance. And if so, then you can be in her place, so there is nothing to cherish such an irresponsible person.
It's also a good idea to find out the reason that made you date a married person.
If it's the need for the extreme sensations you've been getting from secret meetings, then other activities can be found to make up for it. An excellent substitute is extreme sports. So you get the emotions you need without the help of immoral connections.
If the main reason that keeps you in a relationship of this kind is a habit with a person, then you should have an even greater incentive to break up.
After all, to be dependent on a person means to be not free. You will not be able to live a normal life, have children, if you do not end it now. And being dependent on a secret connection is not the best prospect.
How to break off relations with a not free guy and not think about him? Load yourself to the fullest at work, complete all the assignments that you put off indefinitely. Sign up for continuing education courses. If a business trip is planned - do not refuse. Thus, you will advance in your career and forget the unwanted person. Now you have a complete guide to psychologist's advice on how to end a relationship with a married man. Remember and put into practice. And you will definitely be able to start a new life with a clean slate. Are you having difficulty solving this problem on your own? It doesn’t matter either - an online consultation with a psychologist is available at any time. One has only to assign an appointment, and you are already one step ahead to a happy life without oppressive ties.